a new week
That terrible desire for chocolate is still there. I may have given up alcohol, and marijuana, but I still find myself with some of the same patterns, habits. Like I said before, I've been using since I was 12 or 13. That's half my life, so far. Add the eating issues to that, and I'm trying to tackle problems that go back to at least 6 or 7, if not farther back.
How do we undo 2 decades of thoughts and actions? I'm not sure, but I don't think anyone is. If change is the one thing we can count on in life, how should change occur? Should we control it, guide it or let it take place organically? I know that progress --if such a concept really exists outside the theoretical realm-- is uneven at best. I worry, will it be a slow, painstaking process or will it be abrupt?
As I think this, as I reflect on where this journal has been, and as I reflect on a great many other things, I can't help but think about historical examples. The ruptures of 1789 and 1917, naturally, are the ones that come to mind. I know that 1917 was wrong in the sense that it killed millions upon millions of innocent people. But I wonder, in that cynical part of my heart, that wern't they just collateral damage that mankind may have needed to shed in order to move forward? I know, I'm a terrible person for thinking such, but I'd be lying if I said the thought never crossed my mind. That being said, I have mixed feelings about these two ruptures.
There are, of course, plenty of other similar incidents in history, both modern and not-modern. I find myself often thinking about 1453, and the Fall of Constantinople. I wonder about that in the sense that, was that the beginning of this deep divide between Eastern and Western Europe that only now, now after 1989 is beginning to heal and reunite the once divided "continent."
That's another thing I find myself wondering about a lot, actually. Why is Europe considered a "continent"? After all, India --which we claim to be one, unified country -- has just as much topographical and linguistic diversity as that old bag we call Europe. It's all very fascinating, really.
I think I get it, however. I need to concentrate on one region, one theme, one time period, before I can begin trying to generalize and rationalise such theories. After all, we need case examples. Also, never mind the linguistic knowledge one would need to be able to write a world history.
So, I guess my point is, I only have 2 decades of life to worry about changing. Two decades, or even two centuries, is really child's play. Time has this funny way of drifting in ways we can't understand. In fact, this notion that time marches forward, well, I always found it to be very peculiar...
Oh, and a happy father's day.
How do we undo 2 decades of thoughts and actions? I'm not sure, but I don't think anyone is. If change is the one thing we can count on in life, how should change occur? Should we control it, guide it or let it take place organically? I know that progress --if such a concept really exists outside the theoretical realm-- is uneven at best. I worry, will it be a slow, painstaking process or will it be abrupt?
As I think this, as I reflect on where this journal has been, and as I reflect on a great many other things, I can't help but think about historical examples. The ruptures of 1789 and 1917, naturally, are the ones that come to mind. I know that 1917 was wrong in the sense that it killed millions upon millions of innocent people. But I wonder, in that cynical part of my heart, that wern't they just collateral damage that mankind may have needed to shed in order to move forward? I know, I'm a terrible person for thinking such, but I'd be lying if I said the thought never crossed my mind. That being said, I have mixed feelings about these two ruptures.
There are, of course, plenty of other similar incidents in history, both modern and not-modern. I find myself often thinking about 1453, and the Fall of Constantinople. I wonder about that in the sense that, was that the beginning of this deep divide between Eastern and Western Europe that only now, now after 1989 is beginning to heal and reunite the once divided "continent."
That's another thing I find myself wondering about a lot, actually. Why is Europe considered a "continent"? After all, India --which we claim to be one, unified country -- has just as much topographical and linguistic diversity as that old bag we call Europe. It's all very fascinating, really.
I think I get it, however. I need to concentrate on one region, one theme, one time period, before I can begin trying to generalize and rationalise such theories. After all, we need case examples. Also, never mind the linguistic knowledge one would need to be able to write a world history.
So, I guess my point is, I only have 2 decades of life to worry about changing. Two decades, or even two centuries, is really child's play. Time has this funny way of drifting in ways we can't understand. In fact, this notion that time marches forward, well, I always found it to be very peculiar...
Oh, and a happy father's day.