drowning in despair
I'm listening to Dark Side of the Moon as I type this. Well, I'm listening to the great gig in the sky. I have to admit, it has come to that low point again.
Everything is out of control. I don't who I am or what to do.
Thus far, I have made a promise: at least for this night, I am not to do anything too irrational. Per that promise, I was supposed to be in bed, asleep nearly an hour ago...but I digress.
I haven't updated because I haven't had anything positive to say. I know, that violates my terms of use; livejournal is supposed to be my sanctuary, the one bastion of the internet where I can be frankly honest about being bipolar, bisexual, deranged, neurotic, whatever it is I'm feeling...
but, as it stands...I am falling apart. As I write this, I feel a strange sense of composure, quite honestly. I didn't feel this calm earlier. Well, calm isn't the way to describe it. I dunno.
I want a cigarette. I want to stuff myself until my stomach bursts. I want. I want.
But what do I need? What would heal this troubled mind?
Everything is out of control. I don't who I am or what to do.
Thus far, I have made a promise: at least for this night, I am not to do anything too irrational. Per that promise, I was supposed to be in bed, asleep nearly an hour ago...but I digress.
I haven't updated because I haven't had anything positive to say. I know, that violates my terms of use; livejournal is supposed to be my sanctuary, the one bastion of the internet where I can be frankly honest about being bipolar, bisexual, deranged, neurotic, whatever it is I'm feeling...
but, as it stands...I am falling apart. As I write this, I feel a strange sense of composure, quite honestly. I didn't feel this calm earlier. Well, calm isn't the way to describe it. I dunno.
I want a cigarette. I want to stuff myself until my stomach bursts. I want. I want.
But what do I need? What would heal this troubled mind?