scattered thoughts
Today has been an improvement. Normally, around wednesday-to-friday, I experience a sort of slump. This time, however, I came prepared: I drank coffee and got adequate rest. (Inadequate rest on Tuesday night seems to be a factor in this).
Nonetheless, however, I feel defeated. Not because I haven't been productive, but because, despite all the good things, I am still plagued by these negative cognitions. I noticed, as I was just on a 2-mile walk, that I kept my head low, kept mumbling to myself, and wanted to sing Morrissey. Also, the desire to eat was present. None of these are particularly bad, individually, but, coupled with the fact that as I walk, I like to reflect on past memories --and none of the memories on this walk were pleasant -- has me believing that there is something seriously wrong.
In other news, I did manage to study some Latin today. I've learned the basic concepts; I am starting the part of English Grammar for Students of Latin that pertains to Verbs. I also reviewed my notecards. I must say, I have the a-declension and a-conjugation down fairly well. My ability to read is okay, but my translating skills suck. This also mostly has to do with the fact that English is mainly a Subject-Verb-Object (SVO) language and Latin tends to be SOV. While I can pick out the verbs, some vocabulary sometimes troubles me. But, that is neither here nor there. I hope to get some German in tonight.
I haven't made due on my television goals. I want to consume more than just print culture; I have half a dozen movies sitting, waiting to be watched, as well as some shows I am behind on. For instance, I haven't seen an episode of Portlandia yet and it's on week 4 this week! Gah! Where does the time go?
Anyways, I went for a walk, talked to Gail and Sylvia, studied Latin, cooked breakfast and lunch ( I rarely cook) and now, now I'm gettin' ready to cook dinner before I go upstairs and study s'more.
Tomorrow should be eventful, too. I have a doctor's appointment (a physical) as well as meetings with 2 teachers. I hope everything works out, as I'll be sad if it doesn't. I hope to finish Gandhi's Hind Swaraj this week, as well as Factotum. Which reminds me, I need to tumble a bit more.
I don't know where any of this was going.I do know, however, that despite the negative cognitions threatening to tear me down, I feel good about life. And that, sometimes, is all that matters.
Nonetheless, however, I feel defeated. Not because I haven't been productive, but because, despite all the good things, I am still plagued by these negative cognitions. I noticed, as I was just on a 2-mile walk, that I kept my head low, kept mumbling to myself, and wanted to sing Morrissey. Also, the desire to eat was present. None of these are particularly bad, individually, but, coupled with the fact that as I walk, I like to reflect on past memories --and none of the memories on this walk were pleasant -- has me believing that there is something seriously wrong.
In other news, I did manage to study some Latin today. I've learned the basic concepts; I am starting the part of English Grammar for Students of Latin that pertains to Verbs. I also reviewed my notecards. I must say, I have the a-declension and a-conjugation down fairly well. My ability to read is okay, but my translating skills suck. This also mostly has to do with the fact that English is mainly a Subject-Verb-Object (SVO) language and Latin tends to be SOV. While I can pick out the verbs, some vocabulary sometimes troubles me. But, that is neither here nor there. I hope to get some German in tonight.
I haven't made due on my television goals. I want to consume more than just print culture; I have half a dozen movies sitting, waiting to be watched, as well as some shows I am behind on. For instance, I haven't seen an episode of Portlandia yet and it's on week 4 this week! Gah! Where does the time go?
Anyways, I went for a walk, talked to Gail and Sylvia, studied Latin, cooked breakfast and lunch ( I rarely cook) and now, now I'm gettin' ready to cook dinner before I go upstairs and study s'more.
Tomorrow should be eventful, too. I have a doctor's appointment (a physical) as well as meetings with 2 teachers. I hope everything works out, as I'll be sad if it doesn't. I hope to finish Gandhi's Hind Swaraj this week, as well as Factotum. Which reminds me, I need to tumble a bit more.
I don't know where any of this was going.I do know, however, that despite the negative cognitions threatening to tear me down, I feel good about life. And that, sometimes, is all that matters.