Tired as fuck.
Warning: the following entry will be nonsensical rambling filled with moments of self-loathing and incoherence. In short, it is guranteed to be a typical work of mr. kite. Now, who is mr. kite you ask? Such will be answered shortly, when such primilinaries are dropped.
I've got myself so wound up I can't sleep. Why do you ask? I don't work. It's not from doing school work. It's for ridiculous reasons. Saturday: up till 6am because a friend stayed the night. Sunday: I can't remember; that day is rather vague, but filled with a nap. Monday night: the efforts to finish a book. Last night: the most hours of sleep (7) yet still horribly inadequate. I was in the process of writing an entry but became so frazzled.
I hate this feeling . I can't do anything. Should I attempt intellectual capablities, it won't sink in. I can't add properly and should I read I'd be forced to read a simple paragraph 4 times to straighten out the words. I sometimes see words that arn't there or omit words. My eyes hurt. I can't do anything physically; I can't start. It's like, I need to go running, but I don't have the energy. All I can do is type with arms that feel too tired to type. My only vice is food and I'm so tired I'm not hungry. food seems irrelevant. Nothing is calming. I sit, and I am greeted by despair. I attempt something and inefficiency greets me. Such is the plight of a frazzled kite. I haven't rested during the days because I've had appointments, meetings of sorts, and visiting people. I don't understand. I've never been this wound-up.
It's not insonmia, but should this even be a slice of it, I feel for anyone who suffers it. I feel for those addicted to food, or stricken by poverty, or without the ability to see beyond their petty problems. This is a petty problem, but it's damning to my health. When someone greeted me earlier to-day I could only muster a hello and was made the brunt of a joke for such. I walked into a classroom to-day (pre-school lecture on novel) and immediately fell into a haze and realised the depth of my incoherence. I'm rambling more than usual.
This is just punishment. I have spent the summer sleeping. I have spent the summer doing nothing. Now, it is time to not sleep and do something. It is a minor inconvience but right now it feels like hell. It's as if I have ADD. I should be able to feel my body, and not constant eye strain and strained temples. None of this makes sense. I'd better stop, you don't care, my arms hurt.
I'm tired as fuck. so fuck you and may you die. I mean, I love you in a non-platonic way, can we shack up? I mean...fuck, what do I mean? I don't mean anything. I don't owe anything. This is nothing. It will pass. Remember, the solution. The solution is perseverance. but at what costs? exactly how much of my sanity have I lost? I'll have regained compsure by tomorrow morning, but will it last throughout the day? I must sleep....round-up. I must be up at 7am....it's 8:40pm, and I know I won't get to sleep until past 10, or should I sleep now, it will be filled with tossing and turning and waking up.
gafjafkljafkldafkljdafklafjdsafjafjfjfjfjfjfjkld. there, to lament the final frustrations. At least I'll have a funny story to tell. That's always good. I must also remember that if this doesn't kill me, it'll have made me stronger. Yeah, stronger...how is not sleeping stronger? oh fuck me hard, I have to stop rambling.
this was not spell-checked because that just seems so trivial.
I've got myself so wound up I can't sleep. Why do you ask? I don't work. It's not from doing school work. It's for ridiculous reasons. Saturday: up till 6am because a friend stayed the night. Sunday: I can't remember; that day is rather vague, but filled with a nap. Monday night: the efforts to finish a book. Last night: the most hours of sleep (7) yet still horribly inadequate. I was in the process of writing an entry but became so frazzled.
I hate this feeling . I can't do anything. Should I attempt intellectual capablities, it won't sink in. I can't add properly and should I read I'd be forced to read a simple paragraph 4 times to straighten out the words. I sometimes see words that arn't there or omit words. My eyes hurt. I can't do anything physically; I can't start. It's like, I need to go running, but I don't have the energy. All I can do is type with arms that feel too tired to type. My only vice is food and I'm so tired I'm not hungry. food seems irrelevant. Nothing is calming. I sit, and I am greeted by despair. I attempt something and inefficiency greets me. Such is the plight of a frazzled kite. I haven't rested during the days because I've had appointments, meetings of sorts, and visiting people. I don't understand. I've never been this wound-up.
It's not insonmia, but should this even be a slice of it, I feel for anyone who suffers it. I feel for those addicted to food, or stricken by poverty, or without the ability to see beyond their petty problems. This is a petty problem, but it's damning to my health. When someone greeted me earlier to-day I could only muster a hello and was made the brunt of a joke for such. I walked into a classroom to-day (pre-school lecture on novel) and immediately fell into a haze and realised the depth of my incoherence. I'm rambling more than usual.
This is just punishment. I have spent the summer sleeping. I have spent the summer doing nothing. Now, it is time to not sleep and do something. It is a minor inconvience but right now it feels like hell. It's as if I have ADD. I should be able to feel my body, and not constant eye strain and strained temples. None of this makes sense. I'd better stop, you don't care, my arms hurt.
I'm tired as fuck. so fuck you and may you die. I mean, I love you in a non-platonic way, can we shack up? I mean...fuck, what do I mean? I don't mean anything. I don't owe anything. This is nothing. It will pass. Remember, the solution. The solution is perseverance. but at what costs? exactly how much of my sanity have I lost? I'll have regained compsure by tomorrow morning, but will it last throughout the day? I must sleep....round-up. I must be up at 7am....it's 8:40pm, and I know I won't get to sleep until past 10, or should I sleep now, it will be filled with tossing and turning and waking up.
gafjafkljafkldafkljdafklafjdsafjafjfjfjfjfjfjkld. there, to lament the final frustrations. At least I'll have a funny story to tell. That's always good. I must also remember that if this doesn't kill me, it'll have made me stronger. Yeah, stronger...how is not sleeping stronger? oh fuck me hard, I have to stop rambling.
this was not spell-checked because that just seems so trivial.