I hate this crap
Anyhow, since my typepad is on hold i will blog here. seems every month something happens to the payment. i honestly don't know what is up my banks ass. i am pissed off. anyhow this past year has made me realize i am a selfish bitch. i can not believe the horrible things that transpired since the summer. I fell in love with someone else. I know what an ass. Jimmy and I had been distant since last December and well, in some ways we still are. I miss our time together. I know, I know I have five kids nobody wants to watch five kids so we can go to the drive in and make out or go to subway and hold hands. i get that, well actually we have a few friends who knew what was going on and are there to watch the kids if we need some time.
the person i fell in love with reminded me so much of jimmy from when we were younger. very talkative, gentleman like into artsy things. nothing came of it even though jimmy was open to me dating this other guy. we remain friends, don't talk as much as we once did. i find it hard not to but, i know in the long run it's what is best. he is a great guy with an amazing heart, and i do still love him so, this makes me a horrible person. jimmy and him says it makes me human. that my heart us just too big sometimes. honestly, i pray this guy find love that is all his own and that he is happy. he is nearing 34 and doubtful. this makes me sad. he is cynical a lot of the time,
i spent part of my evening already crying because i heard the song purple rain. understanding that song is not something i wanted. but here i am a fluffy 34 year old married mom of five and life has brought me some obstacles this year. i hope next year is better than next.
the person i fell in love with reminded me so much of jimmy from when we were younger. very talkative, gentleman like into artsy things. nothing came of it even though jimmy was open to me dating this other guy. we remain friends, don't talk as much as we once did. i find it hard not to but, i know in the long run it's what is best. he is a great guy with an amazing heart, and i do still love him so, this makes me a horrible person. jimmy and him says it makes me human. that my heart us just too big sometimes. honestly, i pray this guy find love that is all his own and that he is happy. he is nearing 34 and doubtful. this makes me sad. he is cynical a lot of the time,
i spent part of my evening already crying because i heard the song purple rain. understanding that song is not something i wanted. but here i am a fluffy 34 year old married mom of five and life has brought me some obstacles this year. i hope next year is better than next.