Just when I thought life couldn't get any worse
My mom was visiting me for the past 3 weeks which was great. I wish she had stayed longer but on the other hand I also wanted her to leave. Let me explain...
For about 4 months now I had been having some break through bleeding mid cycle. Everyone has heard me rant about my PMS and how it's gotten so much worse. I had been feeling so tired lately. I figured it was because I was working the two jobs, the weight training 3x per week, the running and cardio 4-5 times per week etc.
Well apparently I am anemic again, but this time it's not from not eating well, because I am eating very healthy foods. It's because of the bleeding, and it's way too much. (Sorry guys)
I finally called my Doctor and saw her, she told me to schedule and u/s, which I had last Thursday. Normally it takes patients a week or so to get results, but I'm an RN and happen to work at the same hospital I had my endovaginal u/s done. Can I just say I had not had anything in my vagina for that long of a time. I didn't enjoy it at all.
Anyhow I have a fibroid in my uterus, not too big, and also a "Complex" cyst on my left ovary. Complex, meaning that it's not your regular cyst most women get when they ovulate. A complex cyst has a thicker wall and is the type that can be cancerous, although the chances that is cancerous are not that high.
I still worry though. My first thought was that I was not going to be able to work and how was my husband going to handle things if he can't work full time because of his rheumatoid arthritis. My second thought was that I was going to have a total hysterectomy and bilater oophorectomy and would not be able to have children. My third thought was that I had cancer which metastisised to other areas on my body and I would have to have chemo, have my hair fall out, and than die because they diagnosed me too late and the chemo and radiation did not work. My current thought is that god would not give me anything I can't handle and if this all does turn out to be cancer, I will be stronger for it and won't give up without a fight.
This is where it comes back to my mom and husband I suppose. I have not told any of my family members anything. I don't want my mom to be worried, my sister would freak out. They would be calling me non stop, they would tell the rest of my family in the DR and it would snowball from there. I specially don't want to stress my husband out, since that can bring on a flare up of his arthritis. I want to protect him and shelter him and make sure he is ok. So I write about it here so that I have an outlet.
I contacted a GYN/Oncologist, they want me to repeat the ultrasound in 5 weeks and see if there have been any changes. Meanwhile they left me a message telling me to see my regular GYN. That upset me because I don't have a Gyn. I have never in my life seen a Gyn, I have never had any gynecological problems. I always had my paps with my PCP's nurse practitioner. I have a pile of papsmear way back to my early twenties that were all normal year in and year out, I have never had an STD, not even a yeast infection for god's sake.
I called them back to tell them this, and ask why they could not follow me since it's a big practice and i'm sure they see regular gyn patients. I know I am jumping the gun, but I would atleast like to have a CA125 test to check for cancer as noninvasively as possible for now. I know the blood test is not that reliable, but it's something. The one thing I hate about having to deal with Dr.s offices is having to advocate for myself. You literally have to explain things to them as if they only had a 4th grade education. They just assume things, assume that I have a GYN when they can see my records were faxed by my PCP. They don't even bother to ask me if I have a GYN.
Needless to say, my mom left today and I feel so alone. It was so difficult making pretend I was happy and full of energy. I was neither. So you see I wanted her to stay but I wanted her to go too, so that I could just withdraw into myself some more, which I know is not healthy, but it's what I need right now.
The good news is I saw an Ortho MD today. He thinks my rotator cuff is just irritated for now, so he gave me a medral pack. It's a steroid you take for 6 days and should help with inflammation. So I will take that and see how it goes. Although I need to check with his office again because the steroids can affect hormones and I already have things going on with my hormones.... than again maybe it will help......
For about 4 months now I had been having some break through bleeding mid cycle. Everyone has heard me rant about my PMS and how it's gotten so much worse. I had been feeling so tired lately. I figured it was because I was working the two jobs, the weight training 3x per week, the running and cardio 4-5 times per week etc.
Well apparently I am anemic again, but this time it's not from not eating well, because I am eating very healthy foods. It's because of the bleeding, and it's way too much. (Sorry guys)
I finally called my Doctor and saw her, she told me to schedule and u/s, which I had last Thursday. Normally it takes patients a week or so to get results, but I'm an RN and happen to work at the same hospital I had my endovaginal u/s done. Can I just say I had not had anything in my vagina for that long of a time. I didn't enjoy it at all.
Anyhow I have a fibroid in my uterus, not too big, and also a "Complex" cyst on my left ovary. Complex, meaning that it's not your regular cyst most women get when they ovulate. A complex cyst has a thicker wall and is the type that can be cancerous, although the chances that is cancerous are not that high.
I still worry though. My first thought was that I was not going to be able to work and how was my husband going to handle things if he can't work full time because of his rheumatoid arthritis. My second thought was that I was going to have a total hysterectomy and bilater oophorectomy and would not be able to have children. My third thought was that I had cancer which metastisised to other areas on my body and I would have to have chemo, have my hair fall out, and than die because they diagnosed me too late and the chemo and radiation did not work. My current thought is that god would not give me anything I can't handle and if this all does turn out to be cancer, I will be stronger for it and won't give up without a fight.
This is where it comes back to my mom and husband I suppose. I have not told any of my family members anything. I don't want my mom to be worried, my sister would freak out. They would be calling me non stop, they would tell the rest of my family in the DR and it would snowball from there. I specially don't want to stress my husband out, since that can bring on a flare up of his arthritis. I want to protect him and shelter him and make sure he is ok. So I write about it here so that I have an outlet.
I contacted a GYN/Oncologist, they want me to repeat the ultrasound in 5 weeks and see if there have been any changes. Meanwhile they left me a message telling me to see my regular GYN. That upset me because I don't have a Gyn. I have never in my life seen a Gyn, I have never had any gynecological problems. I always had my paps with my PCP's nurse practitioner. I have a pile of papsmear way back to my early twenties that were all normal year in and year out, I have never had an STD, not even a yeast infection for god's sake.
I called them back to tell them this, and ask why they could not follow me since it's a big practice and i'm sure they see regular gyn patients. I know I am jumping the gun, but I would atleast like to have a CA125 test to check for cancer as noninvasively as possible for now. I know the blood test is not that reliable, but it's something. The one thing I hate about having to deal with Dr.s offices is having to advocate for myself. You literally have to explain things to them as if they only had a 4th grade education. They just assume things, assume that I have a GYN when they can see my records were faxed by my PCP. They don't even bother to ask me if I have a GYN.
Needless to say, my mom left today and I feel so alone. It was so difficult making pretend I was happy and full of energy. I was neither. So you see I wanted her to stay but I wanted her to go too, so that I could just withdraw into myself some more, which I know is not healthy, but it's what I need right now.
The good news is I saw an Ortho MD today. He thinks my rotator cuff is just irritated for now, so he gave me a medral pack. It's a steroid you take for 6 days and should help with inflammation. So I will take that and see how it goes. Although I need to check with his office again because the steroids can affect hormones and I already have things going on with my hormones.... than again maybe it will help......