paternal figure [4/?] ; kyuhyun/sungmin ; pg-13
paternal figure chapter 4
author: kitariii
rating: pg-13
pairing: kyuhyun / sungmin, yesung / ryeowook
genre: romance
warning: genderswitch
summary: All her daughter yearned for was something Sungmin could give but was afraid of giving her - the paternal figure she had wanted for so long. Who would've thought that Cho Kyuhyun would waltz back into her life, in ways neither of them expected?
A/N: Just a reminder! Majority of this chapter is a flashback told in present tense so please don’t get confused. Also, the flashback ends until the bolded page break which looks like this ‘*____*’ I hope you enjoy reading! :D
Truly there were feelings worse yet at that very moment, for Sungmin, nothing could compare to the awful feeling of knowing that you are holding someone back. Holding someone back was one thing, holding someone who was important to you was another. She felt conflicted as she recalled the conversation she had accidentally overheard.
“Kyuhyun, you can’t keep avoiding this, your time’s ticking. You have to make your decision final as soon as possible.” His mother breathed as she looked at Kyuhyun with a concerned expression. Sungmin, who was standing beside the entryway, listened with deep interest. Eavesdropping wasn’t something she was supposed to do; she was aware of that however, her curiosity got the better of her. It was basic human response to something that piques their interest, they would try to find out more until they were satisfied, sometimes even having to use other methods in doing so.
“I… can’t.” He said, turning away not wanting to meet his mother’s gaze.
“And why not? Kyuhyun, you’re graduating tomorrow - it’s less than twenty-four hours before you’ll go march up that stage, get your diploma and end your university life…” She paused. “Didn’t you want to become an actor? If so then take this chance, you’re being offered a scholarship to major in performing arts abroad. It’s an opportunity that you can’t miss.”
“Then let me ask you this mother, if it’s an opportunity that I can’t miss then why are you making me choose? You know for a fact that I have things here that I don’t want to leave behind, even if that means having to choose a different path.”
His mother walked slowly towards him and held his face. “You don’t know what you’re saying, Kyuhyun.”
As much as he had wanted to deny it, it was true - he doesn’t even know how those words came out of his mouth, they just did as if those were his hidden thoughts that only chose to reveal themselves now.
“You can’t make such abrupt decisions, this is your future we’re talking about.” She glanced up and met her son’s eyes and said, “You can always have both things, this is why it’s important to know where your heart lies.”
“Then what if I tell you that I’d rather not take that scholarship and stay here… for reasons I know you are aware of.”
“You really love her, don’t you? To the point that she’s holding you back.”
“Sungmin’s not holding me back, it’s not her fault that I’m madly in love with her to the point that I’d choose her over anything else.” Sungmin let out a small gasp when she heard Kyuhyun mention her name in such a manner but she quickly covered her mouth with her hands, so as to not make any sound audible to the oblivious occupants of the kitchen.
“You have to realize that she is, in fact, holding you back, Kyuhyun. But then, I can’t judge you, it takes so much will to decide over a matter like this and I respect your decision. I believe in you, son. You can be an actor even here, if that’s what you really want but I hope you’re sure about this. Regret is such a torturous feeling.”
Halfway through Kyuhyun’s mother’s speech, Sungmin felt hot tears brimming at the corners of her eyes. She felt that she needed to leave, so as to avoid getting caught and to not break down at that very moment. And so, she left. She left the house without making any sound. Some would say that it was a successful escape but had she known that she had missed an important part of the other two’s conversation, would things turn out the way it will be? Maybe, maybe not. It was fate’s cruel way but sometimes things such as these only come to those who fate itself knows would be able to go through it in triumph. When that triumph would be however, no one can tell.
She had been lying on her bed for hours, simply staring at the blank ceiling, deep in thought. Was she really holding Kyuhyun back? In the two years that they have been going out as a couple, Sungmin had never felt this way because Kyuhyun would always be there, reassuring her. She felt awful, suddenly doubting him when she knew deep down that Kyuhyun was and has always been, despite being quite a trouble-maker, honest when it comes to her. In fact, she couldn’t even recall a time when the two of them had a serious argument. The love critic would say that such was impossible, that maybe the thing between them wasn’t serious because there’s no relationship left untested - it was fate’s way of telling us that love, just like life, doesn’t run smoothly. There was no perfect road, no matter how small or how big may be the cracks or holes, they would be there, present - sometimes at the beginning, the middle or the end.
“So, are we being tested now?” Sungmin wondered to herself as she reached her hand out to nothing.
Memories of the two of them together flash through her mind - a certain memory, in fact. A memory that played relevance to the situation they were in right now.
“You were amazing out there, Kyu.” Sungmin said, looking up at the bright sky. The two of them were situated at the school rooftop. While there was a school festival going on below, they decided to go into a quiet place where it can just be the two of them. “You totally outdid the main actor. Still, I wonder why you didn’t audition for the lead role.” She mused while preparing the lunch box she made.
“Of course I was, I’m Cho Kyuhyun, after all.” Kyuhyun smiled before giving Sungmin a hand in preparing. “Thanks for watching me perform, Min”
“You’re too full of yourself, you know that?” Sungmin teased.
“Yeah, I’m very aware of that fact.” He said as he excitedly opened the lunchbox before him and grinned at the variety of delicious-looking food that his lover had prepared for him.
“So, why didn’t you aim for the lead role in the first place? I think you would’ve done a really good job.”
“I’m going to be a famous actor someday anyways, why would I need a lead role for a school play? Sometimes you have to start from the bottom in order to reach the top.” He mused while chewing on his food.
“Well, that is true. So what do you plan to do once you become a famous actor? It has always been a big dream of yours, if I recall well.” Sungmin moved and offered a napkin to Kyuhyun whose food stain had found its way on his cheeks.
“I’m going to accept good movie offers, of course. When time comes that I get an award, I’ll be asked to give a speech right? I’ll dedicate my first award to you so you have to look forward to it, okay?”
“Of course, I’ll wait for it. Don’t be too cocky when you receive the award!” Kyuhyun watched as Sungmin’s face contorted into different expressions; he smiled to himself as he watched her put her hands on her hips.
“You must be kidding, Min. When was I ever cocky?”
Sungmin sighed, rolled over to her side as she looked at her bedside table where an alarm clock and a picture of Kyuhyun and her together back in their first year of university were situated. She felt a tear roll down her eyes as she closed her eyes and stifled a sob. She quickly rubbed away the tears away when the doorbell of her apartment rang, signaling the arrival of the person she had been waiting for. She stood up and fixed herself; not wanting anyone to worry about her, she had to look okay - even if she was not.
She opened the door and came face-to-face with the person who has been lingering in her mind for the past few days. Well, she tried to avoid thinking about him, but she just couldn’t.
“Kyuhyun.” She said, not much motivation in her tone. Kyuhyun steps in and looks at Sungmin with concern.
“Sungmin.. is something wrong? You suddenly called in the middle of the night.” He puts a hand on Sungmin’s forehead and the other on his, comparing their body temperatures. Sungmin puts Kyuhyun’s hand down and looks up at him, observing him, as if she was deciding on something.
“Tell me, is there something bothering you? Are you okay? Come, sit on your bed.” Kyuhyun said as he led Sungmin, who willingly let herself be pulled towards, to her medium sized bed.
Sungmin looked up to him, gave him a miserable smile before letting out a short yet forced laugh. “I’d like to believe that I’m perfectly sane… right now, at least.”
“Lee Sungmin, don’t be like this. You’re making me worry.” Kyuhyun kneeled down in front of Sungmin and brushed the strands of hair away from her face.
“Kyuhyun, I rarely ask things from you but that doesn’t mean I can make that as an advantage to ask for something impossible. Right?” She paused. “Kyuhyun, you want to be an actor right? Then, take the opportunity. Don’t worry about me, I’m going to be fine, really. I just… I just don’t want to know that I’m the one who’s holding you back from your dream.” Biting her lips, she looked down, not wanting to meet Kyuhyun’s sight.
“What are you saying, you’re not holding me back. Whatever you’re thinking, you’re wrong - it’s my decision to stay in here and-” He stopped when he felt Sungmin’s finger on his lips, stopping him from talking.
“Shh, I know. But if it wasn’t for me then maybe you wouldn’t have made such choice. Your mother’s right, Kyuhyun, your future is important for you.”
“Sungmin, you’re being unfair right now, do you know that?”
“Hmm, maybe I am - if that’s what it takes to make you change your decision.”
“Why? Don’t you love me anymore?”
“ Oh you’re mistaken, Kyu. I love you - a whole lot more than you can ever imagine. I love you so much that I don’t think I could handle seeing you with me yet not being able to do what makes you happy.” There were already tears streaming down Sungmin’s eyes. As the beautiful moonlight shone through the window, there was a couple in the spotlight, two people whose love was being tested but both didn’t know that it was that time.
“I love to act, true but it doesn’t change the fact that acting is just another one of those activities that I like to engage in. You, on the other hand, you’re surreal - almost too dreamlike. I can choose to be an actor any time I want but you, if I let you go right now, would I still be able to have you back?”
“No one knows, Kyuhyun. No one can tell either.”
“So you’re just going to let me leave like that? What if, on my stay there, I meet another person who, despite not being near as good as you are, would somehow patch the wound in my heart?”
“As much as it pains me to say this, then I’ll be happy for you. If that what fate wants then let it be so. If not then I’ll wait for you; anything that’s meant to be will happen, Kyu. We’ll never know when but anything that’s meant to happen will happen, even on the worst timing or situation.”
“But Sungmin, do you know what you’re saying right now? You can’t just possibly ask me to leave; I don’t want to.” By then, Kyuhyun who normally wouldn’t express him emotions a lot, teared up, he held onto Sungmin’s hand tightly while trying to stop himself from breaking down.
“I never said that, I just said I wanted you to follow your dream. Do it, for me. I could be selfish all I want and tell you to stay here with me but that would be insane.”
“Insane, huh? You could be selfish all you want, just don’t make me do this.”
Sungmin sighed. “Take that opportunity and forget about me for a while. Do your best because I know you’ll be one of the best actors someday; don’t forget your promise to me, okay? Mention my name when you get your award.” She leaned forward and put her hand on Kyuhyun’s chest. “I’m always here, even if you’re away. I love you so much, Kyuhyun, please don’t forget that.”
Sungmin used the back of her hand to wipe away the tears that won’t stop cascading from her eyes. “So please, promise me, you’ll follow your dream.”
“Sungmin…”
“I… have one last request.”
“W-what is it?”
“Make love with me.” Sungmin looked up with such determination in her eyes. He hasn’t said anything yet however it was all in his eyes - he was distraught.
“Are you sure? I…”
“Please. I’d like to take this as a memory I wouldn’t forget. Please, Kyuhyun, I-” Sungmin was cut short when suddenly, Kyuhyun moved closer and kissed her. It wasn’t the rough kiss that you see two hormone-raged people do in the movies, it was a slow, sincere and passionate kiss shared between two people in love. Kyuhyun cocked his head sidewards to make it more comfortable for the both of them, not lifting his mouth from his lover’s. The kiss continued until, at loss of balance, the two of them toppled over the bed with Kyuhyun on top of Sungmin.
They stayed like that for some time, silently but lovingly conversing with their eyes as if words they exchanged were travelling in the air, only for them to hear. Kyuhyun watched in adoration the woman beneath him, he marveled at the beauty that was gazing up at him, wondering how a person like him even deserved a wonderful being like her. But then he realized he need not wonder, it didn’t even matter. She, on the other hand, was staring at the man on top of her, holding their gazes long and meaningful. She looks at his face and she felt like reaching out to him, to caress his face, even if it was the last time she could - for now, at least. Then a thought comes buzzing through her mind, what would her life be had Kyuhyun not come? True that it wasn’t such a trivial matter. Saying that without him she would be nothing was just, plain ridiculous because she was Lee Sungmin, she could’ve handled things even without Kyuhyun. However, it all changed. In fact, she didn’t even expect to have him to come marching into her life like that.
But then now that she thinks about it, having Kyuhyun out of her life would make her feel incomplete and believe it or not, it was worse than being nothing at all. Why? It’s because being nothing means you don’t have to lose anything because in the first place, there was nothing. Being incomplete was a different case - you’d feel like a jigsaw puzzle, incomplete and imperfect without its last piece.
Kyuhyun was about to kiss her again when she stopped him and told him to close the lights.
“Why, aren’t you afraid of the dark?”
“But you’re with me, so why should I be afraid?”
“At least open the lampshade.”
“Mmm.”
Kyuhyun carefully laid Sungmin to the bed, their eyes never leaving one another’s, simply gazing at the other with such love. “Are you sure you want this?” He reassured her, wanting to know that she herself had wanted what was to happen.
“I am.”
And so the night went on. There was merely any sound made, neither were there any brash movements, only two bodies of two people bounded by love becoming one - simply love-making and nothing more.
///
Kyuhyun woke up the next day only to find the person who had been with him the night before gone, only a green envelope was sitting on the bedside table; an envelope addressed to him.
By the time you’re reading this, I’ve probably gone somewhere far away. Don’t worry though, I’m going to be okay so don’t bother finding me. I’m saying this as my last goodbye. I thought about it for so long and I hope you respect my decision. I didn’t want to leave, honestly but I didn’t want to be the one holding you back as well. I don’t want to feel that I’m on your way. You know what, I just want you to take that opportunity given to you; for me, please? Not everyone is given an option like that, so treasure it.
I’m sorry that I had to leave with no other notice but this letter here which you find on the bedside table. Always remember that I love you, no matter what. Good luck with your endeavors, I’m praying that you succeed.
Yours truly,
Lee Sungmin
Kyuhyun clutched the letter near his chest, tears weren’t even falling from his eyes - it was as if they were all used up the night before. However, the true reason was, the emotion was too strong that tears alone can’t even describe it.
///
“Are you sure this is what you wanted?” A comforting voice rings over Sungmin’s head as she felt a hand caressing her hair. She looked up and saw her bestfriend, holding a cup of coffee for her which she gladly took with a ‘thanks’.
“I’m not even sure myself, was it really what I wanted? Maybe, maybe not.” She mused as she brought the mug over her lips, blowing the steaming substance inside it. “But… I can’t possibly be a hindrance to his dream, right?”
“You know, there’s a big thick line between things the way they should be and things the way you want them to be and sometimes, it doesn’t hurt to stray away from how things should be and toughen up yourself.”
“Ryeowook… it’s not like that, you see-”
“I know what you mean, Sungmin. I understand, you don’t have to explain yourself.” Ryeowook enveloped Sungmin in a hug in which the other had finally let out.
“I’m regretting everything, Wookie - I am, I seriously am. Still, I can’t make myself to take back my word because I know Kyuhyun deserves so much more. I can’t be selfish but how I wish I was selfish so that I wouldn’t even think of letting him go.” She held on to her best friend as she cried.
“It’s okay, cry all you want. Nothing’s going to happen even if you cry here all day but it’s better than keeping it all to yourself - I’m here.” She said.
“Thank you, Ryeowook.”
“No problem, anything for you, Ming.”
Sungmin fell asleep while she was crying and Ryeowook had to tuck her into sleep. She watched her friend with a gloomy expression, she didn’t like what her friend was going through at that time and she felt bad that the only way she could help was by telling advice - advice that she knows somehow, applies to herself as well.
The moment she leaves the room, her phone which she had left on the living room was ringing. She went over to pick it up only to reveal that she had eight missed calls and two text messages received - all from the same person. Kim Jongwoon.
*________________*
“Mr. Kyuhyun, what are you doing here?” Minhyun chirpily said as she looked up to the said man.
“Well, I’m going to be working with Minn- I mean, Sungmin for a photoshoot.” He said, momentarily glancing at the woman in front of him.
She went over to his side and excitedly exclaimed, “Oh my, you’re her partner? That’s so cool!” She paused. “Wait, so you know each other?”
“Well-”
“You could say that we go way back.” Kyuhyun interrupted Sungmin and gave a nod to Minhyun as he spoke.
“I see, I didn’t know mommy knew Mr. Kyuhyun.” Minhyun said, pouting to herself.
“It’s Mr. Kyuhyun now eh? I thought you were going to call me by appa?” Smiling to himself and trying to glimpse at Sungmin, he said. He noticed how Sungmin’s eyes suddenly widened at his statement but they went back to normal quickly; however, it wasn’t going to go past Kyuhyun’s fast eye moment.
“Minhyun honey, I don’t think it’s right for you to keep calling people around you as appa…” Sungmin tried to reason out.
“But mommy, you know each other right? Like Henry appa too, right? You’re friends aren’t you? So it’s alright, isn’t it, Mr. Kyuhyun- I mean, appa?” Kyuhyun furrowed his brows at the mention of an unfamiliar name and his curiosity heightens even more. He couldn’t wait to be alone with Sungmin; when he could confront her after so long.
“She’s right, I think she can call me anything she wants, actually. Is there something wrong with it, Sungmin?” He said, making sure to say her name with more emphasis. Sungmin wouldn’t lie and say that it was causing quite a stir inside of her; she hadn’t expected what was happening and to be honest, she was far from ready to face it.
“No, not at all.” She replied.
“Well, that’s settled then! You’ll be my appa number two! Wow, Minhyun has-” Minhyun was talking when suddenly the lights went out and all source of light of was gone, a loud screech was heard. Kyuhyun quickly recognize the voice to be Sungmin’s - he knew of her phobia, he knew that she was afraid of the darkness so he had to act quick. He grabbed Minhyun’s hand and despite the lack of sight, he moved forward, closer to where Sungmin was. When he found her, he held her close.
“Hold on tight, close your eyes, it’s going to be okay..”
He felt her clutch on his clothes tightly, which made him hold her even closer - closer than how they should just be. “Don’t let go… I can’t see a thing”
“Shh, it’s okay. Minhyun, are you okay?” He squeezed the little girl’s hand, asking for assurance.
“I’m good! I’m not afraid of the dark so mommy shouldn’t also. We’re here~” Kyuhyun felt the young girl move towards her mother, who was still shivering in fright, to hug her.
Suddenly, they heard the doors of the studio creek open and Kyuhyun could see a little amount of light coming through. He assumed that it was from a flashlight.
“Sungmin, are you here? Answer me!” A voice shouted.
Kyuhyun felt Sungmin loosen her hold of his clothes the moment she had heard the voice. “Henry? We’re here! I can see your flashlight, just.. move a little more - we’re at your left.” She instructed.
The moment he felt him near him, the lights went on again. Kyuhyun looked behind him and saw an unfamiliar guy, holding a flashlight with his hand. He watched as he went over to Sungmin and encircled her into a hug.
“You okay?” He asked her, totally ignoring Kyuhyun’s presence which irked the latter a little - or maybe more considering how touchy he was with Sungmin.
“Henry appa!” Minhyun let go of Kyuhyun’s hand and ran over to Henry who in turn carried her in his arms.
“How’s my Minhyun?”
Kyuhyun would’ve let it pass, that moment, had it not been very suspicious and very… frustrating. On his part, at least. When he felt eyes on him, he looked back and caught Sungmin staring at him. A normal person would’ve said that Sungmin was only deep in thought but Kyuhyun wasn’t a normal person - he knew Sungmin long enough to know how she is and right now, he could tell, she was on the verge of tears. He watched as she slowly turned away and ran towards the dressing room.
A/N: Hello you guys! It’s been a long time since I last updated Paternal Figure and I’m really sorry for the long wait, I hope you guys like this update even if it’s most flashblacks lol So, how was it? I’d love to hear your thoughts about it Thanks so much for your support!
author: kitariii
rating: pg-13
pairing: kyuhyun / sungmin, yesung / ryeowook
genre: romance
warning: genderswitch
summary: All her daughter yearned for was something Sungmin could give but was afraid of giving her - the paternal figure she had wanted for so long. Who would've thought that Cho Kyuhyun would waltz back into her life, in ways neither of them expected?
A/N: Just a reminder! Majority of this chapter is a flashback told in present tense so please don’t get confused. Also, the flashback ends until the bolded page break which looks like this ‘*____*’ I hope you enjoy reading! :D
Truly there were feelings worse yet at that very moment, for Sungmin, nothing could compare to the awful feeling of knowing that you are holding someone back. Holding someone back was one thing, holding someone who was important to you was another. She felt conflicted as she recalled the conversation she had accidentally overheard.
“Kyuhyun, you can’t keep avoiding this, your time’s ticking. You have to make your decision final as soon as possible.” His mother breathed as she looked at Kyuhyun with a concerned expression. Sungmin, who was standing beside the entryway, listened with deep interest. Eavesdropping wasn’t something she was supposed to do; she was aware of that however, her curiosity got the better of her. It was basic human response to something that piques their interest, they would try to find out more until they were satisfied, sometimes even having to use other methods in doing so.
“I… can’t.” He said, turning away not wanting to meet his mother’s gaze.
“And why not? Kyuhyun, you’re graduating tomorrow - it’s less than twenty-four hours before you’ll go march up that stage, get your diploma and end your university life…” She paused. “Didn’t you want to become an actor? If so then take this chance, you’re being offered a scholarship to major in performing arts abroad. It’s an opportunity that you can’t miss.”
“Then let me ask you this mother, if it’s an opportunity that I can’t miss then why are you making me choose? You know for a fact that I have things here that I don’t want to leave behind, even if that means having to choose a different path.”
His mother walked slowly towards him and held his face. “You don’t know what you’re saying, Kyuhyun.”
As much as he had wanted to deny it, it was true - he doesn’t even know how those words came out of his mouth, they just did as if those were his hidden thoughts that only chose to reveal themselves now.
“You can’t make such abrupt decisions, this is your future we’re talking about.” She glanced up and met her son’s eyes and said, “You can always have both things, this is why it’s important to know where your heart lies.”
“Then what if I tell you that I’d rather not take that scholarship and stay here… for reasons I know you are aware of.”
“You really love her, don’t you? To the point that she’s holding you back.”
“Sungmin’s not holding me back, it’s not her fault that I’m madly in love with her to the point that I’d choose her over anything else.” Sungmin let out a small gasp when she heard Kyuhyun mention her name in such a manner but she quickly covered her mouth with her hands, so as to not make any sound audible to the oblivious occupants of the kitchen.
“You have to realize that she is, in fact, holding you back, Kyuhyun. But then, I can’t judge you, it takes so much will to decide over a matter like this and I respect your decision. I believe in you, son. You can be an actor even here, if that’s what you really want but I hope you’re sure about this. Regret is such a torturous feeling.”
Halfway through Kyuhyun’s mother’s speech, Sungmin felt hot tears brimming at the corners of her eyes. She felt that she needed to leave, so as to avoid getting caught and to not break down at that very moment. And so, she left. She left the house without making any sound. Some would say that it was a successful escape but had she known that she had missed an important part of the other two’s conversation, would things turn out the way it will be? Maybe, maybe not. It was fate’s cruel way but sometimes things such as these only come to those who fate itself knows would be able to go through it in triumph. When that triumph would be however, no one can tell.
She had been lying on her bed for hours, simply staring at the blank ceiling, deep in thought. Was she really holding Kyuhyun back? In the two years that they have been going out as a couple, Sungmin had never felt this way because Kyuhyun would always be there, reassuring her. She felt awful, suddenly doubting him when she knew deep down that Kyuhyun was and has always been, despite being quite a trouble-maker, honest when it comes to her. In fact, she couldn’t even recall a time when the two of them had a serious argument. The love critic would say that such was impossible, that maybe the thing between them wasn’t serious because there’s no relationship left untested - it was fate’s way of telling us that love, just like life, doesn’t run smoothly. There was no perfect road, no matter how small or how big may be the cracks or holes, they would be there, present - sometimes at the beginning, the middle or the end.
“So, are we being tested now?” Sungmin wondered to herself as she reached her hand out to nothing.
Memories of the two of them together flash through her mind - a certain memory, in fact. A memory that played relevance to the situation they were in right now.
“You were amazing out there, Kyu.” Sungmin said, looking up at the bright sky. The two of them were situated at the school rooftop. While there was a school festival going on below, they decided to go into a quiet place where it can just be the two of them. “You totally outdid the main actor. Still, I wonder why you didn’t audition for the lead role.” She mused while preparing the lunch box she made.
“Of course I was, I’m Cho Kyuhyun, after all.” Kyuhyun smiled before giving Sungmin a hand in preparing. “Thanks for watching me perform, Min”
“You’re too full of yourself, you know that?” Sungmin teased.
“Yeah, I’m very aware of that fact.” He said as he excitedly opened the lunchbox before him and grinned at the variety of delicious-looking food that his lover had prepared for him.
“So, why didn’t you aim for the lead role in the first place? I think you would’ve done a really good job.”
“I’m going to be a famous actor someday anyways, why would I need a lead role for a school play? Sometimes you have to start from the bottom in order to reach the top.” He mused while chewing on his food.
“Well, that is true. So what do you plan to do once you become a famous actor? It has always been a big dream of yours, if I recall well.” Sungmin moved and offered a napkin to Kyuhyun whose food stain had found its way on his cheeks.
“I’m going to accept good movie offers, of course. When time comes that I get an award, I’ll be asked to give a speech right? I’ll dedicate my first award to you so you have to look forward to it, okay?”
“Of course, I’ll wait for it. Don’t be too cocky when you receive the award!” Kyuhyun watched as Sungmin’s face contorted into different expressions; he smiled to himself as he watched her put her hands on her hips.
“You must be kidding, Min. When was I ever cocky?”
Sungmin sighed, rolled over to her side as she looked at her bedside table where an alarm clock and a picture of Kyuhyun and her together back in their first year of university were situated. She felt a tear roll down her eyes as she closed her eyes and stifled a sob. She quickly rubbed away the tears away when the doorbell of her apartment rang, signaling the arrival of the person she had been waiting for. She stood up and fixed herself; not wanting anyone to worry about her, she had to look okay - even if she was not.
She opened the door and came face-to-face with the person who has been lingering in her mind for the past few days. Well, she tried to avoid thinking about him, but she just couldn’t.
“Kyuhyun.” She said, not much motivation in her tone. Kyuhyun steps in and looks at Sungmin with concern.
“Sungmin.. is something wrong? You suddenly called in the middle of the night.” He puts a hand on Sungmin’s forehead and the other on his, comparing their body temperatures. Sungmin puts Kyuhyun’s hand down and looks up at him, observing him, as if she was deciding on something.
“Tell me, is there something bothering you? Are you okay? Come, sit on your bed.” Kyuhyun said as he led Sungmin, who willingly let herself be pulled towards, to her medium sized bed.
Sungmin looked up to him, gave him a miserable smile before letting out a short yet forced laugh. “I’d like to believe that I’m perfectly sane… right now, at least.”
“Lee Sungmin, don’t be like this. You’re making me worry.” Kyuhyun kneeled down in front of Sungmin and brushed the strands of hair away from her face.
“Kyuhyun, I rarely ask things from you but that doesn’t mean I can make that as an advantage to ask for something impossible. Right?” She paused. “Kyuhyun, you want to be an actor right? Then, take the opportunity. Don’t worry about me, I’m going to be fine, really. I just… I just don’t want to know that I’m the one who’s holding you back from your dream.” Biting her lips, she looked down, not wanting to meet Kyuhyun’s sight.
“What are you saying, you’re not holding me back. Whatever you’re thinking, you’re wrong - it’s my decision to stay in here and-” He stopped when he felt Sungmin’s finger on his lips, stopping him from talking.
“Shh, I know. But if it wasn’t for me then maybe you wouldn’t have made such choice. Your mother’s right, Kyuhyun, your future is important for you.”
“Sungmin, you’re being unfair right now, do you know that?”
“Hmm, maybe I am - if that’s what it takes to make you change your decision.”
“Why? Don’t you love me anymore?”
“ Oh you’re mistaken, Kyu. I love you - a whole lot more than you can ever imagine. I love you so much that I don’t think I could handle seeing you with me yet not being able to do what makes you happy.” There were already tears streaming down Sungmin’s eyes. As the beautiful moonlight shone through the window, there was a couple in the spotlight, two people whose love was being tested but both didn’t know that it was that time.
“I love to act, true but it doesn’t change the fact that acting is just another one of those activities that I like to engage in. You, on the other hand, you’re surreal - almost too dreamlike. I can choose to be an actor any time I want but you, if I let you go right now, would I still be able to have you back?”
“No one knows, Kyuhyun. No one can tell either.”
“So you’re just going to let me leave like that? What if, on my stay there, I meet another person who, despite not being near as good as you are, would somehow patch the wound in my heart?”
“As much as it pains me to say this, then I’ll be happy for you. If that what fate wants then let it be so. If not then I’ll wait for you; anything that’s meant to be will happen, Kyu. We’ll never know when but anything that’s meant to happen will happen, even on the worst timing or situation.”
“But Sungmin, do you know what you’re saying right now? You can’t just possibly ask me to leave; I don’t want to.” By then, Kyuhyun who normally wouldn’t express him emotions a lot, teared up, he held onto Sungmin’s hand tightly while trying to stop himself from breaking down.
“I never said that, I just said I wanted you to follow your dream. Do it, for me. I could be selfish all I want and tell you to stay here with me but that would be insane.”
“Insane, huh? You could be selfish all you want, just don’t make me do this.”
Sungmin sighed. “Take that opportunity and forget about me for a while. Do your best because I know you’ll be one of the best actors someday; don’t forget your promise to me, okay? Mention my name when you get your award.” She leaned forward and put her hand on Kyuhyun’s chest. “I’m always here, even if you’re away. I love you so much, Kyuhyun, please don’t forget that.”
Sungmin used the back of her hand to wipe away the tears that won’t stop cascading from her eyes. “So please, promise me, you’ll follow your dream.”
“Sungmin…”
“I… have one last request.”
“W-what is it?”
“Make love with me.” Sungmin looked up with such determination in her eyes. He hasn’t said anything yet however it was all in his eyes - he was distraught.
“Are you sure? I…”
“Please. I’d like to take this as a memory I wouldn’t forget. Please, Kyuhyun, I-” Sungmin was cut short when suddenly, Kyuhyun moved closer and kissed her. It wasn’t the rough kiss that you see two hormone-raged people do in the movies, it was a slow, sincere and passionate kiss shared between two people in love. Kyuhyun cocked his head sidewards to make it more comfortable for the both of them, not lifting his mouth from his lover’s. The kiss continued until, at loss of balance, the two of them toppled over the bed with Kyuhyun on top of Sungmin.
They stayed like that for some time, silently but lovingly conversing with their eyes as if words they exchanged were travelling in the air, only for them to hear. Kyuhyun watched in adoration the woman beneath him, he marveled at the beauty that was gazing up at him, wondering how a person like him even deserved a wonderful being like her. But then he realized he need not wonder, it didn’t even matter. She, on the other hand, was staring at the man on top of her, holding their gazes long and meaningful. She looks at his face and she felt like reaching out to him, to caress his face, even if it was the last time she could - for now, at least. Then a thought comes buzzing through her mind, what would her life be had Kyuhyun not come? True that it wasn’t such a trivial matter. Saying that without him she would be nothing was just, plain ridiculous because she was Lee Sungmin, she could’ve handled things even without Kyuhyun. However, it all changed. In fact, she didn’t even expect to have him to come marching into her life like that.
But then now that she thinks about it, having Kyuhyun out of her life would make her feel incomplete and believe it or not, it was worse than being nothing at all. Why? It’s because being nothing means you don’t have to lose anything because in the first place, there was nothing. Being incomplete was a different case - you’d feel like a jigsaw puzzle, incomplete and imperfect without its last piece.
Kyuhyun was about to kiss her again when she stopped him and told him to close the lights.
“Why, aren’t you afraid of the dark?”
“But you’re with me, so why should I be afraid?”
“At least open the lampshade.”
“Mmm.”
Kyuhyun carefully laid Sungmin to the bed, their eyes never leaving one another’s, simply gazing at the other with such love. “Are you sure you want this?” He reassured her, wanting to know that she herself had wanted what was to happen.
“I am.”
And so the night went on. There was merely any sound made, neither were there any brash movements, only two bodies of two people bounded by love becoming one - simply love-making and nothing more.
///
Kyuhyun woke up the next day only to find the person who had been with him the night before gone, only a green envelope was sitting on the bedside table; an envelope addressed to him.
By the time you’re reading this, I’ve probably gone somewhere far away. Don’t worry though, I’m going to be okay so don’t bother finding me. I’m saying this as my last goodbye. I thought about it for so long and I hope you respect my decision. I didn’t want to leave, honestly but I didn’t want to be the one holding you back as well. I don’t want to feel that I’m on your way. You know what, I just want you to take that opportunity given to you; for me, please? Not everyone is given an option like that, so treasure it.
I’m sorry that I had to leave with no other notice but this letter here which you find on the bedside table. Always remember that I love you, no matter what. Good luck with your endeavors, I’m praying that you succeed.
Yours truly,
Lee Sungmin
Kyuhyun clutched the letter near his chest, tears weren’t even falling from his eyes - it was as if they were all used up the night before. However, the true reason was, the emotion was too strong that tears alone can’t even describe it.
///
“Are you sure this is what you wanted?” A comforting voice rings over Sungmin’s head as she felt a hand caressing her hair. She looked up and saw her bestfriend, holding a cup of coffee for her which she gladly took with a ‘thanks’.
“I’m not even sure myself, was it really what I wanted? Maybe, maybe not.” She mused as she brought the mug over her lips, blowing the steaming substance inside it. “But… I can’t possibly be a hindrance to his dream, right?”
“You know, there’s a big thick line between things the way they should be and things the way you want them to be and sometimes, it doesn’t hurt to stray away from how things should be and toughen up yourself.”
“Ryeowook… it’s not like that, you see-”
“I know what you mean, Sungmin. I understand, you don’t have to explain yourself.” Ryeowook enveloped Sungmin in a hug in which the other had finally let out.
“I’m regretting everything, Wookie - I am, I seriously am. Still, I can’t make myself to take back my word because I know Kyuhyun deserves so much more. I can’t be selfish but how I wish I was selfish so that I wouldn’t even think of letting him go.” She held on to her best friend as she cried.
“It’s okay, cry all you want. Nothing’s going to happen even if you cry here all day but it’s better than keeping it all to yourself - I’m here.” She said.
“Thank you, Ryeowook.”
“No problem, anything for you, Ming.”
Sungmin fell asleep while she was crying and Ryeowook had to tuck her into sleep. She watched her friend with a gloomy expression, she didn’t like what her friend was going through at that time and she felt bad that the only way she could help was by telling advice - advice that she knows somehow, applies to herself as well.
The moment she leaves the room, her phone which she had left on the living room was ringing. She went over to pick it up only to reveal that she had eight missed calls and two text messages received - all from the same person. Kim Jongwoon.
*________________*
“Mr. Kyuhyun, what are you doing here?” Minhyun chirpily said as she looked up to the said man.
“Well, I’m going to be working with Minn- I mean, Sungmin for a photoshoot.” He said, momentarily glancing at the woman in front of him.
She went over to his side and excitedly exclaimed, “Oh my, you’re her partner? That’s so cool!” She paused. “Wait, so you know each other?”
“Well-”
“You could say that we go way back.” Kyuhyun interrupted Sungmin and gave a nod to Minhyun as he spoke.
“I see, I didn’t know mommy knew Mr. Kyuhyun.” Minhyun said, pouting to herself.
“It’s Mr. Kyuhyun now eh? I thought you were going to call me by appa?” Smiling to himself and trying to glimpse at Sungmin, he said. He noticed how Sungmin’s eyes suddenly widened at his statement but they went back to normal quickly; however, it wasn’t going to go past Kyuhyun’s fast eye moment.
“Minhyun honey, I don’t think it’s right for you to keep calling people around you as appa…” Sungmin tried to reason out.
“But mommy, you know each other right? Like Henry appa too, right? You’re friends aren’t you? So it’s alright, isn’t it, Mr. Kyuhyun- I mean, appa?” Kyuhyun furrowed his brows at the mention of an unfamiliar name and his curiosity heightens even more. He couldn’t wait to be alone with Sungmin; when he could confront her after so long.
“She’s right, I think she can call me anything she wants, actually. Is there something wrong with it, Sungmin?” He said, making sure to say her name with more emphasis. Sungmin wouldn’t lie and say that it was causing quite a stir inside of her; she hadn’t expected what was happening and to be honest, she was far from ready to face it.
“No, not at all.” She replied.
“Well, that’s settled then! You’ll be my appa number two! Wow, Minhyun has-” Minhyun was talking when suddenly the lights went out and all source of light of was gone, a loud screech was heard. Kyuhyun quickly recognize the voice to be Sungmin’s - he knew of her phobia, he knew that she was afraid of the darkness so he had to act quick. He grabbed Minhyun’s hand and despite the lack of sight, he moved forward, closer to where Sungmin was. When he found her, he held her close.
“Hold on tight, close your eyes, it’s going to be okay..”
He felt her clutch on his clothes tightly, which made him hold her even closer - closer than how they should just be. “Don’t let go… I can’t see a thing”
“Shh, it’s okay. Minhyun, are you okay?” He squeezed the little girl’s hand, asking for assurance.
“I’m good! I’m not afraid of the dark so mommy shouldn’t also. We’re here~” Kyuhyun felt the young girl move towards her mother, who was still shivering in fright, to hug her.
Suddenly, they heard the doors of the studio creek open and Kyuhyun could see a little amount of light coming through. He assumed that it was from a flashlight.
“Sungmin, are you here? Answer me!” A voice shouted.
Kyuhyun felt Sungmin loosen her hold of his clothes the moment she had heard the voice. “Henry? We’re here! I can see your flashlight, just.. move a little more - we’re at your left.” She instructed.
The moment he felt him near him, the lights went on again. Kyuhyun looked behind him and saw an unfamiliar guy, holding a flashlight with his hand. He watched as he went over to Sungmin and encircled her into a hug.
“You okay?” He asked her, totally ignoring Kyuhyun’s presence which irked the latter a little - or maybe more considering how touchy he was with Sungmin.
“Henry appa!” Minhyun let go of Kyuhyun’s hand and ran over to Henry who in turn carried her in his arms.
“How’s my Minhyun?”
Kyuhyun would’ve let it pass, that moment, had it not been very suspicious and very… frustrating. On his part, at least. When he felt eyes on him, he looked back and caught Sungmin staring at him. A normal person would’ve said that Sungmin was only deep in thought but Kyuhyun wasn’t a normal person - he knew Sungmin long enough to know how she is and right now, he could tell, she was on the verge of tears. He watched as she slowly turned away and ran towards the dressing room.
A/N: Hello you guys! It’s been a long time since I last updated Paternal Figure and I’m really sorry for the long wait, I hope you guys like this update even if it’s most flashblacks lol So, how was it? I’d love to hear your thoughts about it Thanks so much for your support!