(no subject)
Last week I was bemoaning the fact that I don't get any personal time around and was using it as an excuse to not try to update LJ, but then again, I've been blind for a long time. Contrary to my time at Berkeley, my roommate is fo' sure working -- and thus home -- during the weekends, leaving me to become a complete hikkomori (yes, I mean that) and not leave the confines of my half of the dorm room.
I think too much science schooling is rotting my brain. Too much isolation is rotting my brain too, but this past week I've had dinner with other people, so maybe not.
It was a good idea to come here -- and I apologize in advance for adhering to stereotypes -- to White Man's Land in the Midwest.
Maybe I'd have liked it in Madison, where the demographics are more familiar (read: crazy elite college town). Different kind of students (and a freaking 6-year gap). Different kind of international students (iffy). Different kind of professors, different kind of geographical spread, different kind of ghetto. (Hah.)
A couple of... heck it was probably last month that I still wanted to throw the idea of transferring, but Mom reminded me that really, I'm not strong of a math and physics person to really be a good engineering student worthy of actually heading back to the tier of schools I belong(?).
When I was smaller, my dad used to say that it sucks being in the middle. You're not good enough to excel and feel comfortable, and you're not bad enough to realize that there is no way to go but up. I think that's true, in a way.
I see all of these blue-collar kids and people less privileged (or prepared? For crying out loud, the most popular math class is Beginning Algebra! Beginning Algebra! That's multiple classes removed from calculus!), and so far not as motivated. Or maybe I'm talking 'motivated' as in a sense of "I'm determined to go to a PhD (or professional) program!". And then, some of the GSIs I have are not as motivated. We don't have too many resources. We bicker for space in the department. The head professor in my Mechanics course doesn't teach (which is why I switched lecture sections after the first week). My TA is a lazy ass who doesn't bring our graded problem sets to class. I work with third years who don't know how to reason or think or write well.
Then again, I'm intelligent, but I've also had a lot of time at learning -- at the cost of getting to know people.
Too much time (and no Kinokuniya or Chinatown to disappear to) on my hands has led me to read the New York Times almost fervently. I guess it helps, but it's also narrowing my reading topic. A friend of mine was doing reasearch on popularity (or trends), and granted, a lot of us read things that we like to read, and mine tends into... politics, education, governing, and philosophy (and I really should be reading Popular Mechanics...).
I'm disappointed in the results of the midterm elections, and with the increasing polarizing effect, it seems like there's no end in sight. I tie it to our education (because I've been trained like that), wondering if all this outsourcing and outcontracting (see: package tracking, online learning infrastructure, food services, student organizations...) is something problematic - are we making ourselves stupid?
... when I moved and kept on calling my friends during the first weeks of classes, a friend suggested that I write - concisely and with less WALLS OF TEXT. I think this post is an utter failure in that, but hey, there are a few more Saturdays (and the Thanksgiving break!) to keep practicing.
And I need to do this before shoujo jidai really demolishes my thinking.
I think too much science schooling is rotting my brain. Too much isolation is rotting my brain too, but this past week I've had dinner with other people, so maybe not.
It was a good idea to come here -- and I apologize in advance for adhering to stereotypes -- to White Man's Land in the Midwest.
Maybe I'd have liked it in Madison, where the demographics are more familiar (read: crazy elite college town). Different kind of students (and a freaking 6-year gap). Different kind of international students (iffy). Different kind of professors, different kind of geographical spread, different kind of ghetto. (Hah.)
A couple of... heck it was probably last month that I still wanted to throw the idea of transferring, but Mom reminded me that really, I'm not strong of a math and physics person to really be a good engineering student worthy of actually heading back to the tier of schools I belong(?).
When I was smaller, my dad used to say that it sucks being in the middle. You're not good enough to excel and feel comfortable, and you're not bad enough to realize that there is no way to go but up. I think that's true, in a way.
I see all of these blue-collar kids and people less privileged (or prepared? For crying out loud, the most popular math class is Beginning Algebra! Beginning Algebra! That's multiple classes removed from calculus!), and so far not as motivated. Or maybe I'm talking 'motivated' as in a sense of "I'm determined to go to a PhD (or professional) program!". And then, some of the GSIs I have are not as motivated. We don't have too many resources. We bicker for space in the department. The head professor in my Mechanics course doesn't teach (which is why I switched lecture sections after the first week). My TA is a lazy ass who doesn't bring our graded problem sets to class. I work with third years who don't know how to reason or think or write well.
Then again, I'm intelligent, but I've also had a lot of time at learning -- at the cost of getting to know people.
Too much time (and no Kinokuniya or Chinatown to disappear to) on my hands has led me to read the New York Times almost fervently. I guess it helps, but it's also narrowing my reading topic. A friend of mine was doing reasearch on popularity (or trends), and granted, a lot of us read things that we like to read, and mine tends into... politics, education, governing, and philosophy (and I really should be reading Popular Mechanics...).
I'm disappointed in the results of the midterm elections, and with the increasing polarizing effect, it seems like there's no end in sight. I tie it to our education (because I've been trained like that), wondering if all this outsourcing and outcontracting (see: package tracking, online learning infrastructure, food services, student organizations...) is something problematic - are we making ourselves stupid?
... when I moved and kept on calling my friends during the first weeks of classes, a friend suggested that I write - concisely and with less WALLS OF TEXT. I think this post is an utter failure in that, but hey, there are a few more Saturdays (and the Thanksgiving break!) to keep practicing.
And I need to do this before shoujo jidai really demolishes my thinking.