HOW TO PLAY SUPER MARIO BROS 2

[kitakhyber]

SO YOU WANT TO PLAY SUPER MARIO BROS 2



HERE IS HOW TO PLAY SUPER MARIO BROS 2

• Chapter 1: Character Selection

ALWAYS BE PRINCESS TOADSTOOL ALWAYS BE PRINCESS TOADSTOOL ALWAYS BE PRINCESS TOADSTOOL ALWAYS BE PRINCESS TOADSTOOL she has the BITCHINGEST move. YOU CAN FUCKING LEVITATE!!! Once you learn to exploit this you will fucking BREEZE THROUGH LEVELS LIKE MICHAEL JORDAN THROUGH THEM HOOPS. So what if she is slow at picking and digging THAT SHIT IS NOT IMPORTANT BOTTOM LINE ALWAYS BE PRINCESS TOADSTOOL OR YOU A BITCH

• Chapter 2: Controls

USE THE D-PAD TO NAVIGATE TOADSTOOL. USE B TO RUN YOUR ASS OFF. PRESS A TO JUMP. PRESS A IN MIDAIR TO FUCKING LEVITATE HOLY SHIT
 

• Chapter 3: Enemies

Shyguy, Tweeter, Ninji: who gives a shit these fuckers ain't shit

Snifit: Snifit is a BITCH-ASS MOFO who looks like Shyguy but with a GOD DAMN BULLET MOUTH FUCK A DICK! He likes to shoot your ass and make you die. He's not actually that bad unless you are in the sand levels and he's there when you have to dig WHEN THAT HAPPENS HE IS A COLOSSAL DOUCHE AND CAN SUCK A FAT ONE GO SNIFF A DICK

Beezo: more like beezy am i right Beezo is a flying fuckoff with a spear. He dives at your ass and you better watch out or YOUR ASS WILL GET STABBED he is a real dick don't you know

Phanto: PHANTO IS THE ONE AND ONLY  MASKED MOFO OF SUPER MARIO BROS 2. he gets real fucking pissed when you steal his car keys. He will chase your ass but never hit you because he is a dumbass and couldn't follow an ant half a foot. If he hits you it's YOUR GOD DAMN FAULT

Pidgit: Pidgit is a little bitch whose name sounds like a popular instant messaging client. He rides a vintage 1969 Chevy MAGIC FUCKING CARPET that is so fucking badass that the game encourages you to put a proverbial cap in his ass and jack that shit hardcore. But Pidgit won't have any of that shit. He swoops at your ass in an attempt to commit FUCKING DRIVE-BY ASSFUCKING.

Panser: I FUCKING HATE THE FUCK OUT OF PANSER  AAARGH this fucking bitch cocksucking ass mongering butt flake shit plant will FUCK YOU THE FUCKING FUCK UP with FIREBALLS fuck him hard

Birdo: You all know who the fuck fucking Birdo is. Birdo is a true cock. Birdo will projectile vomit eggs out of his/her GOD DAMN ORAL CAVITY to fuck your shit up bad. BUT YOU CAN ONE UP THAT SHIT. YOU CAN FUCKING JUMP ON TOP OF A BARF EGG, PICK IT THE FUCK UP IN MID FUCKING AIR, AND THROW IT BACK AT THIS FUCKING FREAK. HOLY SHIT. Do this three times and Birdo is fucked. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!! Red Birdo happens too and he/she is a bitch ass bitch ass. Instead of eggs all the time, red Birdo will sometimes be a little bitch and vomit FIREBALLS instead of eggs to THROW YOUR ASS OFF TRACK. Have none of that BULLSHIT! Fuck Red Birdo up. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!! Green Birdo. Gigantic mega anal butt. GREEN BIRDO SHOOTS ONLY FIREBALLS, NO EGGS. WHAT THE FUCK FUCK YOU GREEN BIRDO YOU GREEN-ASSED BITCHDICK

Mouser: A FUCKING TERRORIST who throws BOMBS BOMBS BOMBS and is an ass

Wart: king of being a fatass

• Chapter 4: Tips and Tricks

don't pick anyone but toadstool you tool

THAT IS HOW TO PLAY SUPER MARIO BROS 2