Firefly- Fake Palindromes
title: Fake Palindromes
author: kitakatzz
genre: action/adventure/drama/horror
rating: pg-13
thanks go to simmysim for the beta
summary: What's scarier than a horde of Reavers? Maybe the Alliance had an ace up their sleeve all along.
spoilers: picks up sometime after the events of Serenity
Fake Palindromes
chapter two_______
Thoughts flitted through, none belonging to her. Others.
They: confused; worried; annoyed; sad; satisfied.
Who is am I this person?!.
He? She? It?
Am I nothing? was one thought her devastatingly wounded brain managed to complete. Eventually followed up with, Am I everything?
She didn't know it, but a war was being waged in her head. A new being, who had been created by the wave, by the signal, was trying to get River to disconnect. To let go of herself. Confuse her into thinking it was the right thing to do.
Yes, you are everything, it said, leeching and sinking into the unoccupied portions of River's thoughts. The parts of her still frozen in pain-shock, vulnerable for the taking.
River thought about that for awhile, just like it wanted her to. Completely unaware that the essence of she was being taken away and assimilated piece by piece. She was being digested by a great and evil plant, roots growing stronger every passing moment.
Then... I am all.
The plant paused in its work. It had been growing more confident, no longer caring if River had detected its presence, but... River's single thought was full of power; a bright, blinding light through the fog of her confusion, much stronger then any of her other ones had been.
The plant worried now, sunk back again into hiding.
Not so worried that it didn't continue where it left off, but much more carefully. Slower. More delicate in the way it pierced unused brain with its many vines, affixing them to itself in the same careful way a spider wraps its paralyzed prey.
Yes, it decided quietly, I want to be unknown now.
It even allowed River to wake up.
~
"She's waking up," Zoe announced. She had been staring at the monitors, lost in thought, but quickly coming back to herself when the lines wavered and changed.
Simon was immediately at his sister's side, both hands wrapped around one of hers, leaning close. "River? River, if you can hear me, just blink. Don't try to talk, your tongue is still healing."
River blinked, but Zoe didn't think it was because of Simon's request. Her eyes were glassy, and they didn't seem to be focused on anything, she doubted if River had even heard him.
"River is doubted," River said with a lisp, eyes closing again.
"Oh mei mei, please don't talk," Simon said, torn between his joy at seeing her finally awake and his annoyance that she'd ignored him, "the bonding I used should have it fixed in two days, so you need to be care--"
Talk this way, River's voice suddenly whispered. Whispered in their heads. Zoe stared in shock, then her hand flew to her comm, requesting the captain's immediate presence in the infirmary please. Simon's reaction was significantly less thought-out, rearing back from his sister in surprise and saying, "What? What? Another thing? What?"
River's eyes slid back shut, and Another thing, yes, echoed in both their heads.
~
"I knew it was a bad idea to go! I should have been here! I could have--"
"You could have what?" Mal asked, standing at the end of a full table in the galley. "Seems to me like there was nothing' any of us coulda' done. You heard her just as well as I did. Said she'd collapsed and couldn't explain why."
"Heard her in my head! Telepathically!" Simon exploded. River, who was seated next to him, jerked in surprise.
"Just makes it easier to hear her," Mal replied calmly, allowing the young man the outburst, "and are you really surprised about this? Shi, girl can already do so many weird and unexplainable-like things, this just seems a natural progression."
There was a general feeling of agreement at the table at Mal's keen deduction. Simon looked unimpressed and didn't bother to dignify it with a response. "I'd hoped she she was getting better. Besides, there's nothing natural about biting off your own tongue and falling into a coma."
"Well, it was a short coma 'least," Kaylee said with forced brightness after a pause.
"And only the tipa' her tongue," Jayne added with a grin, picking at dirt in his nails with a short knife.
Simon thought murderous thoughts in the mercenary‘s direction, but didn't reply. Wasn't going to be baited. He looked back to Mal. "And she's talking oddly, and before you say 'it's in my head so of course it sounds odd', I get that, but..." he looked over at River. It had been a while since he'd spoken about her like she wasn't even in the room, but she was giving no indication of hearing him or caring. "It's different."
"I agree," Zoe said. She had the group's attention. Zoe didn't talk much in meetings anymore, so when she did, everyone listened. Mal in particular.
"She's more..." she paused, pursing her lips. "Fragmented, I guess. If that's even the word I mean."
Simon was nodding gratefully, "Yes, exactly, that's what I was trying to say, and--"
"And she's jumpin' in our thoughts more'n she used to," Zoe finished.
Lots of uncomfortable shifting met this comment. It was true. In the last day and a half since River had been released from the infirmary, she'd been stopping people in the halls to "tell" them exactly what they were thinking. Tell them what they were on their way to do. Even more bothersome, she'd been telling people what other people were doing and thinking.
Particularly inconvenient for Mal, who'd had to hear some very, very explicit details about Inara, who was still out on the job, and wouldn't be back for another day or so. And that they'd come from little River's mouth...
He grimaced mentally at the memory. "Yeah, yeah, that's true. Gonna' have to school her about that, Simon."
"Yes I will 'school' her about it," he said, extremely annoyed by that remark. There were a few more pressing matters on his list of concerns at the moment. "Although I'm hoping that it's just her way of dealing with this new... I don't know exactly what to call it. Ability? I'm sorry she's being rude in the mean time but once she gets used her sudden onset telepathic abilities, she'll stop. I think."
"Yeah well, I don't know 'bout anyone else but, I ain't entirely comfortable with the fact that she even has the 'telepathic ability' to get in here," Jayne said, tapping his head with the broad side of his knife.
"Doubt anybody's comfortable at the fact River can read your mind, Jayne," Mal said blandly. But he'd actually been circling the same thought. And it bothered him. Though, he did like the idea a member of his crew would know if their clients were planning on shooting or cheating them, he didn't want her in his head telling him how Inara would or wouldn't like some of his more private imaginations.
"All right, Simon, talk to River. Make it clear, what she ought and ought not do. That's all we can do for now. Zoe? Jayne? Still need to go out and meet Burns' men, so--"
Something to say,
Every head in the room turned to River. Almost felt compelled to.
River was slowly rising from her seat, hands that had been clasped lightly in her lap now dangled at her side in their overhanging sleeves. She looked at none of them, not really, but it seemed she was looking into all of them.
Like the sky, Mal thought somewhat crazily, and at the same moment gooseflesh appeared up and down his arms.
He heard someone gasp. There was a loud noise to his left and he saw peripherally that Jayne had pushed himself away from the table. It looked like he'd been bolting for the door, but had suddenly stopped, frozen in the process of leaving his seat. He too, was staring over at River.
Must stay. Must listen. All. Not much... left. Clock? Time, ticking away on its face? Don't think so. Kind of. Something other. You are other, but you are me. The other other in me is isn't me either. The other other is tearing, poking, absorbing and not much left. Not much left. River shuddered violently, one hand going out to clasp the edge of the table for support. Managed to... gather some wildflowers... hide it away for a rainy day. Tears were streaming down her cheeks now, and Mal's muscles ached to move and comfort, but he had to remain still.
It's pouring,
Simon's chin was shaking, hands twitching, and River let herself lean into him. Warning you, she said, River will be gone, a sigh of satisfaction. Remembers now. River. Am water rushing down your memory and thoughts, soil gathered at her sides. Good and bad. But, will be all gone. Bits and pieces eaten up, delicious sustenance for a flytrap, she sniffled, wiping her dripping nose on her brother's sleeve.
One way to save this girl, she finally announced. But the voice in their heads was full of sudden hesitation. Need permission-- won't do it otherwise, sorry Simon, She was biting her lip, bright wet eyes as unfocused as ever. Except, when she started again, her tone was excited, and she was speaking quickly, but needs to be secret. Covert consent; lock on a diary, very hush-hush; password of a secret club, exclusive membership only!
She rose to her feet again, spread her hands out in front of her like she was counting to ten on her fingers. They could all feel her conviction. Know how to do it, too.
At this point, things suddenly got... Odd. Well, odder. The room was swiftly filled with a sort of fog, the others disappearing in the grey haze of it. Gone. The table, the room, everything, completely covered in grey. Mal couldn't even see his own hands. Just River. Li'l albatross. The confused, faulty girl Simon had drug on his boat.
He felt an overwhelming sadness, but he had no idea why.
"Not much time," River said, and then was in front of him, and somehow looking directly into his face, like she was as tall as him. It confused him, but not too much. It felt right. "Captain," she smiled, tilting her head to the side, "do you understand what's been said?"
He had the urge to say 'no' and 'never understand half of what's comin' out of your mouth girl', but he felt himself nodding instead.
She was searching his eyes, and after a while, she seemed satisfied. "Yeah. Need somewhere to hide this girls brainpan. Need permission to do it. You could die," she explained fully, explaining nothing.
"Like that's ever bothered me."
He'd been expecting a smile, a laugh, but she just looked sad.
"You have my permission," he finished, feeling awkward.
River blinked rapidly and kissed his cheek. "Thanks," she said, stepping back, "gotta' go ask the rest." The mist was already clouding over her. "Don't know if I should pick you though," she teased, "kind of obvious."
The grey completely hid her features, she melted into nothing, and Mal was left alone. He felt like he was standing there for an hour. For a second. A month.
Time ticking away on its face.
All done! River announced cheerily in his head some unknown time later; in all their heads he knew. Want you to remember this, but you won't. The other, the consuming one... won't let you. Very angry right now, she sighed unhappily, mood completely turned around, it makes things harder for those left. Might be best to dispose of the body before the brain is eaten away, vultures on a carcass, betterment for the pack... she stopped and considered the thought. Then, No. Don't think any could do that… No. Hide and seek best unless the tide moves in a different--
River suddenly screamed.
Mal quailed under the force of it, the strength of her almost unbearable. Force and power reverberating through his self. It was a glimpse of things to come, later, but he didn't know that.
Time, she gasped, voice tremulous and weakened. She had felt all of them recoiling from her, and she forced herself calm, all run through. Tick has been tocked. Need you to remember one thing though... sorry, it will hurt.
In the next moment, Mal saw white. And probably it did hurt like River said, but when he woke, Simon in his face, shaking him, asking something-- he didn't remember River saying anything at all. The only thought on his mind for some inexplicable reason he didn't remember-- in all of their minds, burned in their retinas forevermore by the strength of she, was River's last warning:
Don't trust River.
~
previous chapter
confused? don't worry, things become clearer soon.
Please review!
author: kitakatzz
genre: action/adventure/drama/horror
rating: pg-13
thanks go to simmysim for the beta
summary: What's scarier than a horde of Reavers? Maybe the Alliance had an ace up their sleeve all along.
spoilers: picks up sometime after the events of Serenity
Fake Palindromes
chapter two_______
Thoughts flitted through, none belonging to her. Others.
They: confused; worried; annoyed; sad; satisfied.
Who is am I this person?!.
He? She? It?
Am I nothing? was one thought her devastatingly wounded brain managed to complete. Eventually followed up with, Am I everything?
She didn't know it, but a war was being waged in her head. A new being, who had been created by the wave, by the signal, was trying to get River to disconnect. To let go of herself. Confuse her into thinking it was the right thing to do.
Yes, you are everything, it said, leeching and sinking into the unoccupied portions of River's thoughts. The parts of her still frozen in pain-shock, vulnerable for the taking.
River thought about that for awhile, just like it wanted her to. Completely unaware that the essence of she was being taken away and assimilated piece by piece. She was being digested by a great and evil plant, roots growing stronger every passing moment.
Then... I am all.
The plant paused in its work. It had been growing more confident, no longer caring if River had detected its presence, but... River's single thought was full of power; a bright, blinding light through the fog of her confusion, much stronger then any of her other ones had been.
The plant worried now, sunk back again into hiding.
Not so worried that it didn't continue where it left off, but much more carefully. Slower. More delicate in the way it pierced unused brain with its many vines, affixing them to itself in the same careful way a spider wraps its paralyzed prey.
Yes, it decided quietly, I want to be unknown now.
It even allowed River to wake up.
~
"She's waking up," Zoe announced. She had been staring at the monitors, lost in thought, but quickly coming back to herself when the lines wavered and changed.
Simon was immediately at his sister's side, both hands wrapped around one of hers, leaning close. "River? River, if you can hear me, just blink. Don't try to talk, your tongue is still healing."
River blinked, but Zoe didn't think it was because of Simon's request. Her eyes were glassy, and they didn't seem to be focused on anything, she doubted if River had even heard him.
"River is doubted," River said with a lisp, eyes closing again.
"Oh mei mei, please don't talk," Simon said, torn between his joy at seeing her finally awake and his annoyance that she'd ignored him, "the bonding I used should have it fixed in two days, so you need to be care--"
Talk this way, River's voice suddenly whispered. Whispered in their heads. Zoe stared in shock, then her hand flew to her comm, requesting the captain's immediate presence in the infirmary please. Simon's reaction was significantly less thought-out, rearing back from his sister in surprise and saying, "What? What? Another thing? What?"
River's eyes slid back shut, and Another thing, yes, echoed in both their heads.
~
"I knew it was a bad idea to go! I should have been here! I could have--"
"You could have what?" Mal asked, standing at the end of a full table in the galley. "Seems to me like there was nothing' any of us coulda' done. You heard her just as well as I did. Said she'd collapsed and couldn't explain why."
"Heard her in my head! Telepathically!" Simon exploded. River, who was seated next to him, jerked in surprise.
"Just makes it easier to hear her," Mal replied calmly, allowing the young man the outburst, "and are you really surprised about this? Shi, girl can already do so many weird and unexplainable-like things, this just seems a natural progression."
There was a general feeling of agreement at the table at Mal's keen deduction. Simon looked unimpressed and didn't bother to dignify it with a response. "I'd hoped she she was getting better. Besides, there's nothing natural about biting off your own tongue and falling into a coma."
"Well, it was a short coma 'least," Kaylee said with forced brightness after a pause.
"And only the tipa' her tongue," Jayne added with a grin, picking at dirt in his nails with a short knife.
Simon thought murderous thoughts in the mercenary‘s direction, but didn't reply. Wasn't going to be baited. He looked back to Mal. "And she's talking oddly, and before you say 'it's in my head so of course it sounds odd', I get that, but..." he looked over at River. It had been a while since he'd spoken about her like she wasn't even in the room, but she was giving no indication of hearing him or caring. "It's different."
"I agree," Zoe said. She had the group's attention. Zoe didn't talk much in meetings anymore, so when she did, everyone listened. Mal in particular.
"She's more..." she paused, pursing her lips. "Fragmented, I guess. If that's even the word I mean."
Simon was nodding gratefully, "Yes, exactly, that's what I was trying to say, and--"
"And she's jumpin' in our thoughts more'n she used to," Zoe finished.
Lots of uncomfortable shifting met this comment. It was true. In the last day and a half since River had been released from the infirmary, she'd been stopping people in the halls to "tell" them exactly what they were thinking. Tell them what they were on their way to do. Even more bothersome, she'd been telling people what other people were doing and thinking.
Particularly inconvenient for Mal, who'd had to hear some very, very explicit details about Inara, who was still out on the job, and wouldn't be back for another day or so. And that they'd come from little River's mouth...
He grimaced mentally at the memory. "Yeah, yeah, that's true. Gonna' have to school her about that, Simon."
"Yes I will 'school' her about it," he said, extremely annoyed by that remark. There were a few more pressing matters on his list of concerns at the moment. "Although I'm hoping that it's just her way of dealing with this new... I don't know exactly what to call it. Ability? I'm sorry she's being rude in the mean time but once she gets used her sudden onset telepathic abilities, she'll stop. I think."
"Yeah well, I don't know 'bout anyone else but, I ain't entirely comfortable with the fact that she even has the 'telepathic ability' to get in here," Jayne said, tapping his head with the broad side of his knife.
"Doubt anybody's comfortable at the fact River can read your mind, Jayne," Mal said blandly. But he'd actually been circling the same thought. And it bothered him. Though, he did like the idea a member of his crew would know if their clients were planning on shooting or cheating them, he didn't want her in his head telling him how Inara would or wouldn't like some of his more private imaginations.
"All right, Simon, talk to River. Make it clear, what she ought and ought not do. That's all we can do for now. Zoe? Jayne? Still need to go out and meet Burns' men, so--"
Something to say,
Every head in the room turned to River. Almost felt compelled to.
River was slowly rising from her seat, hands that had been clasped lightly in her lap now dangled at her side in their overhanging sleeves. She looked at none of them, not really, but it seemed she was looking into all of them.
Like the sky, Mal thought somewhat crazily, and at the same moment gooseflesh appeared up and down his arms.
He heard someone gasp. There was a loud noise to his left and he saw peripherally that Jayne had pushed himself away from the table. It looked like he'd been bolting for the door, but had suddenly stopped, frozen in the process of leaving his seat. He too, was staring over at River.
Must stay. Must listen. All. Not much... left. Clock? Time, ticking away on its face? Don't think so. Kind of. Something other. You are other, but you are me. The other other in me is isn't me either. The other other is tearing, poking, absorbing and not much left. Not much left. River shuddered violently, one hand going out to clasp the edge of the table for support. Managed to... gather some wildflowers... hide it away for a rainy day. Tears were streaming down her cheeks now, and Mal's muscles ached to move and comfort, but he had to remain still.
It's pouring,
Simon's chin was shaking, hands twitching, and River let herself lean into him. Warning you, she said, River will be gone, a sigh of satisfaction. Remembers now. River. Am water rushing down your memory and thoughts, soil gathered at her sides. Good and bad. But, will be all gone. Bits and pieces eaten up, delicious sustenance for a flytrap, she sniffled, wiping her dripping nose on her brother's sleeve.
One way to save this girl, she finally announced. But the voice in their heads was full of sudden hesitation. Need permission-- won't do it otherwise, sorry Simon, She was biting her lip, bright wet eyes as unfocused as ever. Except, when she started again, her tone was excited, and she was speaking quickly, but needs to be secret. Covert consent; lock on a diary, very hush-hush; password of a secret club, exclusive membership only!
She rose to her feet again, spread her hands out in front of her like she was counting to ten on her fingers. They could all feel her conviction. Know how to do it, too.
At this point, things suddenly got... Odd. Well, odder. The room was swiftly filled with a sort of fog, the others disappearing in the grey haze of it. Gone. The table, the room, everything, completely covered in grey. Mal couldn't even see his own hands. Just River. Li'l albatross. The confused, faulty girl Simon had drug on his boat.
He felt an overwhelming sadness, but he had no idea why.
"Not much time," River said, and then was in front of him, and somehow looking directly into his face, like she was as tall as him. It confused him, but not too much. It felt right. "Captain," she smiled, tilting her head to the side, "do you understand what's been said?"
He had the urge to say 'no' and 'never understand half of what's comin' out of your mouth girl', but he felt himself nodding instead.
She was searching his eyes, and after a while, she seemed satisfied. "Yeah. Need somewhere to hide this girls brainpan. Need permission to do it. You could die," she explained fully, explaining nothing.
"Like that's ever bothered me."
He'd been expecting a smile, a laugh, but she just looked sad.
"You have my permission," he finished, feeling awkward.
River blinked rapidly and kissed his cheek. "Thanks," she said, stepping back, "gotta' go ask the rest." The mist was already clouding over her. "Don't know if I should pick you though," she teased, "kind of obvious."
The grey completely hid her features, she melted into nothing, and Mal was left alone. He felt like he was standing there for an hour. For a second. A month.
Time ticking away on its face.
All done! River announced cheerily in his head some unknown time later; in all their heads he knew. Want you to remember this, but you won't. The other, the consuming one... won't let you. Very angry right now, she sighed unhappily, mood completely turned around, it makes things harder for those left. Might be best to dispose of the body before the brain is eaten away, vultures on a carcass, betterment for the pack... she stopped and considered the thought. Then, No. Don't think any could do that… No. Hide and seek best unless the tide moves in a different--
River suddenly screamed.
Mal quailed under the force of it, the strength of her almost unbearable. Force and power reverberating through his self. It was a glimpse of things to come, later, but he didn't know that.
Time, she gasped, voice tremulous and weakened. She had felt all of them recoiling from her, and she forced herself calm, all run through. Tick has been tocked. Need you to remember one thing though... sorry, it will hurt.
In the next moment, Mal saw white. And probably it did hurt like River said, but when he woke, Simon in his face, shaking him, asking something-- he didn't remember River saying anything at all. The only thought on his mind for some inexplicable reason he didn't remember-- in all of their minds, burned in their retinas forevermore by the strength of she, was River's last warning:
Don't trust River.
~
previous chapter
confused? don't worry, things become clearer soon.
Please review!