Man vs. Technology. Fight!!!
So I just recently duked it out with my computer and barely came out the victor.
Okay, so recently (Monday night) I was working on my computer trying to get a paper done for class Tuesday morning and as I'm working I start to note odd things.
Such as:
Everytime I tried to go on the internet I found myself rerouted to a crazy page filled with alien language
I couldn't go on Microsoft Word because my computer kept telling me I didn't have enough memory to open it (I only had like two things opened. What the hell?)
And then the worst thing... my computer screen started to just randomly blackout on me. No warning, just typing along and all of a sudden.. O.o WTF?!?
And so, I'm starting to have a panic attack of course, because I need to finish this stupid paper (because god forbid I had actually done it sooner than the night before, right?)
I then start to argue with my computer.
K: Please work. Please? I'll give you cookies.
C: I already probably have plenty of cookies in me.
K: .... Good point. What can I do to appease you long enough to let me finish my paper?
C: Nothing. I enjoy seeing you suffer.
K: *grumble* Bastard.
C: What was that? *screen flickers*
K: *Watches screen in alarm* I was just mentioning how wonderful you are.
C: I thought as much. *screen settles*
K: Well... can you please just work long enough for me to connect my external so I can save what I have done?
C: I won't promise you anything.
K: *looks at the computer in alarm* You're pulling my leg. Come on!!!!!!! I've taken good care of you. No damage. Nothing. You're in good condition. At least do this much for me.
C: I won't promise anything.
K: You're a real bastard. You know that, right? I hate you. I hate you. When this is over I'm tossing you in front of a bus so I can watch you be crushed into smithereens.
C: *black screen*
K: Nooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That wasn't the worst of it though.
K: So I got my external hooked up and... why isn't there anything in my external?
C: I'm a computer. I can't really talk. You keep putting words in my mouth which means if you don't know, I can't tell you.
K: But.... my life is in that thing. Where did my files go?
C: I. Can't. Tell. You. Got it?
K: But?!?
C: Shh!!
K: But I...
C: Cease your useless prattling and save what you need to before I crash on you again.
K: *deep breath* Good idea. *saves files and disconnects just shortly before computer goes black again* Nooo!!!!!!!!!!!
Later still.
K: Well, lets see if my older computer still works and I can finish my paper on that then. Sounds like a good idea right?
C2: Finally, you decide to start using me again. Too good before huh?
K: No, it's just that you're kinda tiny and hard to type fast on.
C2: Excuses. And now you need to type on my tiny little keyboard huh? So, what happened? The other one failed? Knew it.
K: Shh!! I just need to finish typing 300 some more words and we can go our separate ways again.
C2: But it's lonely... and dark.
K: I'll start pulling you out more if it'll make you happy. But only if you cooperate.
C2: Fine
K: *opens up external* WTF??????
C2: What now?
K: There's nothing here. It says there is nothing here but it lies. I know there is because I put it all there. I did. I know I did. It took time and I watched the bars and everything. Where the hell did it go?
C2: What do I know? I'm just a computer that can't really talk. You keep putting words into my mouth which means if you don't know, I certainly don't either.
K: But...
C2: Shhh, and start working on this other paper already.
K: But I...
C2: Cease your useless prattling and get to work.
Next morning
K: *walks into tech support*
Nice lady at the desk: What can I do for you?
K: My computer is the devil's box and it needs to be cleansed and purified of his taint.
NLATD: *serious face* You wouldn't believe how often we hear that. Sit down on a chair and someone will be with you shortly.
K: O.o *sits down*
Tech Guy: Come on back and start telling me what's wrong.
K: My computer is possessed and I want it destroyed, I mean fixed.
TG: You wouldn't believe how often I hear that. Okay, break it down for me.
K: XD Okay, well I can't connect to the internet because whenever I do I get alien script *opens up the internet only for it to open up right away and perfectly* You're shitting me.
TG: It happens all the time. Don't worry. It's the magic of the tech support room. Okay, so internet hasn't been working. What else?
K: Microsoft word keeps yelling at me.
TG: Vocal MW gotcha. And?
K: This is more of a personal issue but is it normal to connect an external drive to a computer and find everything you've ever put on it gone?
TG: O.O.... o.O No!
K: Oh! Well, my computer did that too.
TG: Do you have it on you?
K: Can you possibly fix it?
TG: Probably.
K: I love you.
TG: We get that a lot in here.
K: O.o I really, really do though.
TG: We understand. *starts working on computer*
K: Can I just pick it up after class?
TG: Sure. See you at...?
K: Sometime around noon.
TG: See you then.
Sometime around noon
K: I'm back.
TG: Well, we fixed your computer.
K: Really? *starry eyed* You're amazing.
TG: Just type in your username and password and try out a couple of things to make sure it's how it should be.
K: Oh, this is like magic. I like magic.
TG: Glad to be of help. So, bring out your external so we can take a look at it.
K: Okay.
TG: *hooks it up* Well there is a lot of room being used for nothing being here.
K: I know but I tried hidden files and there isn't even that.
TG: Hmm... *yells across room to TG2 who joins the fray*
TG2: So what's wrong?
K: My external either wiped itself or is being devilishly clever because I had it connected to the devil's box... I mean my laptop.
TG2: That...
K: Please don't tell me you get that a lot here.
TG2: Actually, we don't. This is kind of unusual. We'll hook it up to another computer and see if we can pull up the files there. *TG and TG2 try it on a mac with success* Good news is your files are still there.
K: Yippee!
TG2: I'm going to hook it up to another computer and see what it does there. *hooks up and nothing* Hmm... well that is odd.
K: Technology is repelled by my presence.
TG: We have a lot of people come in here like that.
K: O.O
TG2: What we can do is transfer everything to our external on the max, reformat your external and hook it through a PC to transfer everything back into a form compatible with PC. You don't mind right?
K: I don't use macs. I think they're more evil than PCs. That should be fine.
TG2: *smiles indulgently* We can save this for you then.
K: I love you. Will you marry me?
Honestly.... not much of that has been exaggerated. It is largely true to form. True story.
Okay, so recently (Monday night) I was working on my computer trying to get a paper done for class Tuesday morning and as I'm working I start to note odd things.
Such as:
Everytime I tried to go on the internet I found myself rerouted to a crazy page filled with alien language
I couldn't go on Microsoft Word because my computer kept telling me I didn't have enough memory to open it (I only had like two things opened. What the hell?)
And then the worst thing... my computer screen started to just randomly blackout on me. No warning, just typing along and all of a sudden.. O.o WTF?!?
And so, I'm starting to have a panic attack of course, because I need to finish this stupid paper (because god forbid I had actually done it sooner than the night before, right?)
I then start to argue with my computer.
K: Please work. Please? I'll give you cookies.
C: I already probably have plenty of cookies in me.
K: .... Good point. What can I do to appease you long enough to let me finish my paper?
C: Nothing. I enjoy seeing you suffer.
K: *grumble* Bastard.
C: What was that? *screen flickers*
K: *Watches screen in alarm* I was just mentioning how wonderful you are.
C: I thought as much. *screen settles*
K: Well... can you please just work long enough for me to connect my external so I can save what I have done?
C: I won't promise you anything.
K: *looks at the computer in alarm* You're pulling my leg. Come on!!!!!!! I've taken good care of you. No damage. Nothing. You're in good condition. At least do this much for me.
C: I won't promise anything.
K: You're a real bastard. You know that, right? I hate you. I hate you. When this is over I'm tossing you in front of a bus so I can watch you be crushed into smithereens.
C: *black screen*
K: Nooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That wasn't the worst of it though.
K: So I got my external hooked up and... why isn't there anything in my external?
C: I'm a computer. I can't really talk. You keep putting words in my mouth which means if you don't know, I can't tell you.
K: But.... my life is in that thing. Where did my files go?
C: I. Can't. Tell. You. Got it?
K: But?!?
C: Shh!!
K: But I...
C: Cease your useless prattling and save what you need to before I crash on you again.
K: *deep breath* Good idea. *saves files and disconnects just shortly before computer goes black again* Nooo!!!!!!!!!!!
Later still.
K: Well, lets see if my older computer still works and I can finish my paper on that then. Sounds like a good idea right?
C2: Finally, you decide to start using me again. Too good before huh?
K: No, it's just that you're kinda tiny and hard to type fast on.
C2: Excuses. And now you need to type on my tiny little keyboard huh? So, what happened? The other one failed? Knew it.
K: Shh!! I just need to finish typing 300 some more words and we can go our separate ways again.
C2: But it's lonely... and dark.
K: I'll start pulling you out more if it'll make you happy. But only if you cooperate.
C2: Fine
K: *opens up external* WTF??????
C2: What now?
K: There's nothing here. It says there is nothing here but it lies. I know there is because I put it all there. I did. I know I did. It took time and I watched the bars and everything. Where the hell did it go?
C2: What do I know? I'm just a computer that can't really talk. You keep putting words into my mouth which means if you don't know, I certainly don't either.
K: But...
C2: Shhh, and start working on this other paper already.
K: But I...
C2: Cease your useless prattling and get to work.
Next morning
K: *walks into tech support*
Nice lady at the desk: What can I do for you?
K: My computer is the devil's box and it needs to be cleansed and purified of his taint.
NLATD: *serious face* You wouldn't believe how often we hear that. Sit down on a chair and someone will be with you shortly.
K: O.o *sits down*
Tech Guy: Come on back and start telling me what's wrong.
K: My computer is possessed and I want it destroyed, I mean fixed.
TG: You wouldn't believe how often I hear that. Okay, break it down for me.
K: XD Okay, well I can't connect to the internet because whenever I do I get alien script *opens up the internet only for it to open up right away and perfectly* You're shitting me.
TG: It happens all the time. Don't worry. It's the magic of the tech support room. Okay, so internet hasn't been working. What else?
K: Microsoft word keeps yelling at me.
TG: Vocal MW gotcha. And?
K: This is more of a personal issue but is it normal to connect an external drive to a computer and find everything you've ever put on it gone?
TG: O.O.... o.O No!
K: Oh! Well, my computer did that too.
TG: Do you have it on you?
K: Can you possibly fix it?
TG: Probably.
K: I love you.
TG: We get that a lot in here.
K: O.o I really, really do though.
TG: We understand. *starts working on computer*
K: Can I just pick it up after class?
TG: Sure. See you at...?
K: Sometime around noon.
TG: See you then.
Sometime around noon
K: I'm back.
TG: Well, we fixed your computer.
K: Really? *starry eyed* You're amazing.
TG: Just type in your username and password and try out a couple of things to make sure it's how it should be.
K: Oh, this is like magic. I like magic.
TG: Glad to be of help. So, bring out your external so we can take a look at it.
K: Okay.
TG: *hooks it up* Well there is a lot of room being used for nothing being here.
K: I know but I tried hidden files and there isn't even that.
TG: Hmm... *yells across room to TG2 who joins the fray*
TG2: So what's wrong?
K: My external either wiped itself or is being devilishly clever because I had it connected to the devil's box... I mean my laptop.
TG2: That...
K: Please don't tell me you get that a lot here.
TG2: Actually, we don't. This is kind of unusual. We'll hook it up to another computer and see if we can pull up the files there. *TG and TG2 try it on a mac with success* Good news is your files are still there.
K: Yippee!
TG2: I'm going to hook it up to another computer and see what it does there. *hooks up and nothing* Hmm... well that is odd.
K: Technology is repelled by my presence.
TG: We have a lot of people come in here like that.
K: O.O
TG2: What we can do is transfer everything to our external on the max, reformat your external and hook it through a PC to transfer everything back into a form compatible with PC. You don't mind right?
K: I don't use macs. I think they're more evil than PCs. That should be fine.
TG2: *smiles indulgently* We can save this for you then.
K: I love you. Will you marry me?
Honestly.... not much of that has been exaggerated. It is largely true to form. True story.