Money Shots
femmenerd came up with the idea of posting just the orgasmic bits of our fic. I gave it a try, and got some very interesting results. Well, they were interesting for me. Hopefully they'll at least be entertaining for you.
What I found most interesting while doing this exercise is that even within the limited sample I chose to quote from, about 50-60% of my sex scenes don't actually contain money shots. I frequently skip from sex to afterglow, assuming the orgasm as a given. Partly because one can only write about a phenomenon (even a phenomenon as phenomenal as orgasm- hee) so many times, but partly for reasons of story rhythm and flow. I tend to make stylistic choices, rather than err on the side of "then they did this, then they did this, then they...etc." I am not much of a linear storyteller.
That said, here are some orgasms I *did* write about:
My latest fic, TW fandom. Singularity, John/Jack:
He comes across John’s fist, the sheets, the pillows, his own stomach. He even cries John’s name.
&
Then Jack has to close his eyes, because Johnny has always been able to make him come so hard, he can almost imagine he’s lost track of time. He falls forward like something inevitable, like gravity or death, but Jack is not a part of any of those things anymore, and he never does forget that.
Proof that even in a damn PWP, I am a fan of internal monologue. Poor Jack can't even get off without me making him LOOK AT HIMSELF. I'd feel bad for him, but really. He should see what I do to Angel.
***
SPN-verse Set Out Running the incest slash money shot:
Dean doesn’t struggle, and that makes Sam angrier, makes him wrap his hand around his brother’s throat, makes him squeeze. Makes him fuck Dean’s mouth (harderfastertakeitbitch) even as Dean suffocates under the weight of him.
(“Stop,” Sam says, because Dean never will.)
Sam looms over him, shadow distorted in the late afternoon sun. He stares down at Dean, torn open and bleeding out, and he comes so godamned hard he
Wakes up.
Femme warned me this one would be controversial, even though it was a dream sequence, because Sam fans tend to like him, uhm, kinder and gentler than my version. Again, I say, oh Sam. You should see my Angel.
& the het money shot from the same fic (feat. Sam/Madison):
Sam fucks her hard, until her short, sharp gasps cut into the space between them, like the pointed ends of stars just out of reach. Holds her ass high in the air, spreads her wide with fingers and dick. Gets her off threefourfive times, marking his skin with her insides.
Because my Sam is a Top. Yes.
***
More fucked up boys, from comic-verse now. Another attempt at PWP that went left into character study territory, but at least I let the boy!Superman have an orgasm without Thinking Thinky Thoughts; alas, probably only because it's all from Batman's POV. From The Fourth Wall:
Clark’s hips rise off the bed, and his pajama bottoms slip off one ankle. Bruce watches slim hip bones twist as Clark chases orgasm with his wide eyes focused sightlessly on the ceiling. When those lips part in one long, silent moan and his thighs drop apart, Bruce watches him come. Clark’s eyes and mouth and legs are all open, and somehow that’s the most intimate part of all of this. He does not look away from the screen until Clark’s eyes close.
***
More fucked up boys, this time in my most favorite of verses, Jossverse:
First story, All Through the Night, feat. Connor whacking off to orgasm while listening to Gunn and Fred (like Father, like son.)
He could hear them together at night in the Hyperion. Fred’s voice, full of high, excited breath; smoke and wind, fragile, untouchable. Gunn laughed, but his voice was too low to catch. From him, Connor could steal only the most important words- baby.love you.yes.
In front of Connor, they only discussed monsters.
Sometimes, he’d lay awake in his room and listen to the sounds they made together. Grind his dick into the grooves of his mattress, with the rhythm of their headboard against the wall.
They (always) finished first.
& from the same story, Connor fucking Spike. My favorite kind of smut here- smut with angst and violence (could this be why I fell for TW? Duh). This money shot is the culmination of all that, AND internal monologue! Wow, Connor's brain is busy while he gets off. He's a multi-tasker, our Destroyer, and Spike is grateful. Spike's bottom here. And predictably, he gets off on that.
And Connor must be speaking (chanting) now too, because Spike is answering him. Thrashing beneath him, tugging his wrists loose of the ropes, saying he can and he is and he does.
(Love you, forgive you, show you, fucking fucking liar)
When Spike comes, he prays the name of some girl who deserves better, while he digs his fingers into Connor’s shoulders. He shuts those eyes as he cries.
The room (the vampire) reeks of sex and death; awful and familiar.
Connor follows the streaks of tears with his teeth, leaving tiny bite marks. He stops at the vampire’s neck.
***
Spike's less bottomy here, at least position wise. Second Hand is set Post-NFA. Confused!Connor brings out all those same conflicts in souled!Spike. More angst! More internal monologue! Spike is a multi-tasker, too, and Connor is quite grateful this time.
“Show me,” Connor says again, fingers closing hard around Spike’s throat. “Show it to me.”
Arching under Spike, fucking like anger and tasting like hurt, Slayerdemonlittleboy, full of venom and sweets. Spike lets his fangs drop, lets the blood haze settle over his vision, looks down at Connor with yellow eyes. Connor thrashes beneath him, slams his head back into the headboard. Spills all over Spike’s hand.
“Damn you,” Connor’s voice shudders, nearly breaks, but the fist connecting with Spike’s chest is precise. Closed, and empty, and right above Spike’s heart. “God damn you.”
Then he closes his eyes and bares his neck, and Spike comes so hard his ears ring.
***
Spike is much much less bottomy with Connor's Daddy- (Spike/Angel blowjob scene from B/A/S story, called All Ways.)
Spike bared his teeth, smacked his head once against the bricks when he came, and called Angel a stupid son of a bitch.
Because Spike SO would.
Hm. I get Spike off a LOT. Hunh.
I did not, however, write his orgasm in the B/A/S with Buffy. Only with Angel. I did write Angel's with Buffy though, twice...
***
B/A, during the "day that never was", in the fic If Ever.
He kneels behind her, tugs her ass high into the air, holds her open with his thumbs. Stabs deep inside, slides all the way out, until those glass-fragile noises she makes get him off, too fast.
Awww, sweet. He loves her and he's just a man. HE CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH. But you know, my boy DID wear out the Slayer, even human. Go Angel.
***
It's a whole other kind of orgasm with Epic!Tragic!Vampire!Angel B/A, in
All Ways.
It was desperate and merciful and painful and (perfect), and she screamed when she came. Shouted his name and something else he wouldn’t let her finish, biting her tongue for her; staying quiet, so damned quiet, even as he shook and spilled inside of her, careful not to wake the dead.
Because if Vampire!Angel is sexing anyone who does not snark at him, his orgasms are, by definition, world changing.
***
I have discovered that my RPS is waaay less angsty. This is the climax (of the story AND of the sex) for Measure of a Man, the RPS AU:
The press of Vince’s hand on his own dick was familiar and inevitable; made Jimmy feel small in the same way looking at the stars did, big in the way he always felt when Vince made those fragile sounds, and showed Jimmy his neck.
Jimmy buried his face there when he came, in that soft, hollow space, gritty with tears and dirt. Vince bit Jimmy’s shoulder through his t-shirt, shuddering so hard Jimmy thought he might be crying again. He pulled back and Vince was smiling, wide and goofy.
HAPPY ORGASMS! WHAT A CONCEPT! YAY!
***
My RPS is also more basic, and straight (no pun intended) forward. Two guys, some fucking, and the money shots always follow. Everyone gets off in these. And they get off onscreen.
James/Dave, in Dim:
James gets off-
Rough hand and harsh jerks, tearing animal noises from his throat. Fingernails just under the head and every time Dave stroked up the length of James’ cock, the fingers around James’ wrist got tighter and tighter.
Bruises in a perfect circle, like spiderwebs and bright bright sun.
He didn’t loosen his hold until minutes after James came, gasping and slamming his other hand against the tiled wall to hold himself up.
& (same story) Dave gets off-
Left bits of themselves all over the sunlit room: sweaty handprints on glass tables, spit and cum on plaid napkins, and baseruttingmale noises under the silent whisper of the brass ceiling fan.
And when Dave came, he knocked his arm against the table, knocked over the cookie jar in its center, spilled shards of glass and animal crackers all over the red and white tile floor.)
Lessons learned.
My money shots:
Do not ever contain the words-
cum- I lied.
jism
man-juice
Tend toward internal descriptive and/or character descriptive, rather than act-descriptive.
Are about 30%-40% of the time actually central to the plot. THEY ARE IMPORTANT ORGASMS.
Only happen onscreen about half the time.
AND
If you wanna get off in peace:
Don't be Angel in a Kita fic.
Probably don't be Jack in a Kita fic.
Realize that no matter your sexual position, Connor will always really be the one in charge.
No matter who you are, be prepared for A LOT of introspection.
You'll have the best bet for a money shot if you're an actor rather than a character.
The exception to the rule(s) may be Superman.
Which may be why Superman annoys Kita.
Edit next day- Also, I *really* like the word fragile. And it's always about the non-POV person. Hmmmm.
What I found most interesting while doing this exercise is that even within the limited sample I chose to quote from, about 50-60% of my sex scenes don't actually contain money shots. I frequently skip from sex to afterglow, assuming the orgasm as a given. Partly because one can only write about a phenomenon (even a phenomenon as phenomenal as orgasm- hee) so many times, but partly for reasons of story rhythm and flow. I tend to make stylistic choices, rather than err on the side of "then they did this, then they did this, then they...etc." I am not much of a linear storyteller.
That said, here are some orgasms I *did* write about:
My latest fic, TW fandom. Singularity, John/Jack:
He comes across John’s fist, the sheets, the pillows, his own stomach. He even cries John’s name.
&
Then Jack has to close his eyes, because Johnny has always been able to make him come so hard, he can almost imagine he’s lost track of time. He falls forward like something inevitable, like gravity or death, but Jack is not a part of any of those things anymore, and he never does forget that.
Proof that even in a damn PWP, I am a fan of internal monologue. Poor Jack can't even get off without me making him LOOK AT HIMSELF. I'd feel bad for him, but really. He should see what I do to Angel.
***
SPN-verse Set Out Running the incest slash money shot:
Dean doesn’t struggle, and that makes Sam angrier, makes him wrap his hand around his brother’s throat, makes him squeeze. Makes him fuck Dean’s mouth (harderfastertakeitbitch) even as Dean suffocates under the weight of him.
(“Stop,” Sam says, because Dean never will.)
Sam looms over him, shadow distorted in the late afternoon sun. He stares down at Dean, torn open and bleeding out, and he comes so godamned hard he
Wakes up.
Femme warned me this one would be controversial, even though it was a dream sequence, because Sam fans tend to like him, uhm, kinder and gentler than my version. Again, I say, oh Sam. You should see my Angel.
& the het money shot from the same fic (feat. Sam/Madison):
Sam fucks her hard, until her short, sharp gasps cut into the space between them, like the pointed ends of stars just out of reach. Holds her ass high in the air, spreads her wide with fingers and dick. Gets her off threefourfive times, marking his skin with her insides.
Because my Sam is a Top. Yes.
***
More fucked up boys, from comic-verse now. Another attempt at PWP that went left into character study territory, but at least I let the boy!Superman have an orgasm without Thinking Thinky Thoughts; alas, probably only because it's all from Batman's POV. From The Fourth Wall:
Clark’s hips rise off the bed, and his pajama bottoms slip off one ankle. Bruce watches slim hip bones twist as Clark chases orgasm with his wide eyes focused sightlessly on the ceiling. When those lips part in one long, silent moan and his thighs drop apart, Bruce watches him come. Clark’s eyes and mouth and legs are all open, and somehow that’s the most intimate part of all of this. He does not look away from the screen until Clark’s eyes close.
***
More fucked up boys, this time in my most favorite of verses, Jossverse:
First story, All Through the Night, feat. Connor whacking off to orgasm while listening to Gunn and Fred (like Father, like son.)
He could hear them together at night in the Hyperion. Fred’s voice, full of high, excited breath; smoke and wind, fragile, untouchable. Gunn laughed, but his voice was too low to catch. From him, Connor could steal only the most important words- baby.love you.yes.
In front of Connor, they only discussed monsters.
Sometimes, he’d lay awake in his room and listen to the sounds they made together. Grind his dick into the grooves of his mattress, with the rhythm of their headboard against the wall.
They (always) finished first.
& from the same story, Connor fucking Spike. My favorite kind of smut here- smut with angst and violence (could this be why I fell for TW? Duh). This money shot is the culmination of all that, AND internal monologue! Wow, Connor's brain is busy while he gets off. He's a multi-tasker, our Destroyer, and Spike is grateful. Spike's bottom here. And predictably, he gets off on that.
And Connor must be speaking (chanting) now too, because Spike is answering him. Thrashing beneath him, tugging his wrists loose of the ropes, saying he can and he is and he does.
(Love you, forgive you, show you, fucking fucking liar)
When Spike comes, he prays the name of some girl who deserves better, while he digs his fingers into Connor’s shoulders. He shuts those eyes as he cries.
The room (the vampire) reeks of sex and death; awful and familiar.
Connor follows the streaks of tears with his teeth, leaving tiny bite marks. He stops at the vampire’s neck.
***
Spike's less bottomy here, at least position wise. Second Hand is set Post-NFA. Confused!Connor brings out all those same conflicts in souled!Spike. More angst! More internal monologue! Spike is a multi-tasker, too, and Connor is quite grateful this time.
“Show me,” Connor says again, fingers closing hard around Spike’s throat. “Show it to me.”
Arching under Spike, fucking like anger and tasting like hurt, Slayerdemonlittleboy, full of venom and sweets. Spike lets his fangs drop, lets the blood haze settle over his vision, looks down at Connor with yellow eyes. Connor thrashes beneath him, slams his head back into the headboard. Spills all over Spike’s hand.
“Damn you,” Connor’s voice shudders, nearly breaks, but the fist connecting with Spike’s chest is precise. Closed, and empty, and right above Spike’s heart. “God damn you.”
Then he closes his eyes and bares his neck, and Spike comes so hard his ears ring.
***
Spike is much much less bottomy with Connor's Daddy- (Spike/Angel blowjob scene from B/A/S story, called All Ways.)
Spike bared his teeth, smacked his head once against the bricks when he came, and called Angel a stupid son of a bitch.
Because Spike SO would.
Hm. I get Spike off a LOT. Hunh.
I did not, however, write his orgasm in the B/A/S with Buffy. Only with Angel. I did write Angel's with Buffy though, twice...
***
B/A, during the "day that never was", in the fic If Ever.
He kneels behind her, tugs her ass high into the air, holds her open with his thumbs. Stabs deep inside, slides all the way out, until those glass-fragile noises she makes get him off, too fast.
Awww, sweet. He loves her and he's just a man. HE CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH. But you know, my boy DID wear out the Slayer, even human. Go Angel.
***
It's a whole other kind of orgasm with Epic!Tragic!Vampire!Angel B/A, in
All Ways.
It was desperate and merciful and painful and (perfect), and she screamed when she came. Shouted his name and something else he wouldn’t let her finish, biting her tongue for her; staying quiet, so damned quiet, even as he shook and spilled inside of her, careful not to wake the dead.
Because if Vampire!Angel is sexing anyone who does not snark at him, his orgasms are, by definition, world changing.
***
I have discovered that my RPS is waaay less angsty. This is the climax (of the story AND of the sex) for Measure of a Man, the RPS AU:
The press of Vince’s hand on his own dick was familiar and inevitable; made Jimmy feel small in the same way looking at the stars did, big in the way he always felt when Vince made those fragile sounds, and showed Jimmy his neck.
Jimmy buried his face there when he came, in that soft, hollow space, gritty with tears and dirt. Vince bit Jimmy’s shoulder through his t-shirt, shuddering so hard Jimmy thought he might be crying again. He pulled back and Vince was smiling, wide and goofy.
HAPPY ORGASMS! WHAT A CONCEPT! YAY!
***
My RPS is also more basic, and straight (no pun intended) forward. Two guys, some fucking, and the money shots always follow. Everyone gets off in these. And they get off onscreen.
James/Dave, in Dim:
James gets off-
Rough hand and harsh jerks, tearing animal noises from his throat. Fingernails just under the head and every time Dave stroked up the length of James’ cock, the fingers around James’ wrist got tighter and tighter.
Bruises in a perfect circle, like spiderwebs and bright bright sun.
He didn’t loosen his hold until minutes after James came, gasping and slamming his other hand against the tiled wall to hold himself up.
& (same story) Dave gets off-
Left bits of themselves all over the sunlit room: sweaty handprints on glass tables, spit and cum on plaid napkins, and baseruttingmale noises under the silent whisper of the brass ceiling fan.
And when Dave came, he knocked his arm against the table, knocked over the cookie jar in its center, spilled shards of glass and animal crackers all over the red and white tile floor.)
Lessons learned.
My money shots:
Do not ever contain the words-
cum- I lied.
jism
man-juice
Tend toward internal descriptive and/or character descriptive, rather than act-descriptive.
Are about 30%-40% of the time actually central to the plot. THEY ARE IMPORTANT ORGASMS.
Only happen onscreen about half the time.
AND
If you wanna get off in peace:
Don't be Angel in a Kita fic.
Probably don't be Jack in a Kita fic.
Realize that no matter your sexual position, Connor will always really be the one in charge.
No matter who you are, be prepared for A LOT of introspection.
You'll have the best bet for a money shot if you're an actor rather than a character.
The exception to the rule(s) may be Superman.
Which may be why Superman annoys Kita.
Edit next day- Also, I *really* like the word fragile. And it's always about the non-POV person. Hmmmm.