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Jul 29, 2011 19:05

The last few weeks have been harrowing.

Con was more stressful than enjoyable for me. Alaina and Liz and I had a rehash session yesterday about how unenjoyable it was this year. The main highlight of Con was getting to see Alaina, actually, since she's deployed in Denver, but was able to take a couple weeks leave for Con.

I have utterly failed to get another job since school let out. Old Navy hired me, but they're only scheduling me once a week (if that; this week I wasn't scheduled at all). I exhausted the last of my savings in June and I've had to ask my mom for money twice since. We were supposed to have three weeks of Mary Poppins at the Civic in August, but it got reduced to two, and while I've got more shifts coming up than I usually have in a month, it's still nowhere near even a part time job. I can't even remember all the places I've applied to and not heard back from. The week Old Navy hired me, I had three other interviews which mostly seemed to go well but all resulted in nothing.

I was denied financial aid for the second year in a row. Last year I was able to make a successful appeal, but I have been warned twice over that there's a very high likelihood my appeal this year will be denied. I have 125 attempted credits and the limit is 90 at the community level. They want documentation for reasons I haven't made academic progress, but seriously, they have the evidence that I've changed my major twice and that I started on a university level on file in my transcripts. Last year the argument that I had been in a bad living situation which was not conducive to an academic atmosphere apparently worked, but how am I supposed to have documented that? I further added in my explanation this year that I'd tried to make up for lost time but it turned out to be a work load I wasn't able to handle, but now I have so few classes left, I shouldn't have too much trouble with them... But both the counselor who gave me my latest copy of my ed plan and the financial aid officer I submitted my appeal to were quick to stress the possibility of a denial.

I really just wanted to be like, "Put up with me for one more year and then you'll never hear from me again! (at this level.)" I have eight classes left! Two of the classes I need to take are math. Right now I'm signed up for script analysis, a survey of the physical sciences, a speech class (which I swear I already took...), and an english class. I'm waitlisted for a math class (and I won't even get into the madness that went into getting on that list; the website point blank refused to work and I had to call the admissions office). If I get in to the math class, I'll drop the english and take it in the spring with make up for the stage, stage movement, and the second math class. And then I'll be eligible to graduate. I put in my petition to graduate on Wednesday as well as my financial aid appeal. That feels really weird to contemplate. If I can get into the damned math class, I can graduate in the spring and I'll have an AA that took me eight years to complete.

Next I need to actually start looking at schools for my BA. Because my GPA is not the best (hello, roommate making home so uncomfortable I never wanted to be there and sleeping on Sha's couch all summer and failing a few classes as a result, when I had had an A/B average previously... plus, the D in math last year...), I've been told to look into CSUs. I don't particularly want to leave San Diego, but the viable CSUs are not in San Diego. This will, of course, be when I finally have to start taking out student loans. Assuming my credit is good enough for it, since at this moment I have NO money and a few bills due...

I don't know where that'll leave me and Dom. We haven't talked about it yet. He's moving in with me soon and Nick is taking his room at Renda's. Dom's not too stressed about finishing school any time soon, and I'm pretty sure I'm closer to completion than he is. When I graduate, what does he do? If I get into a school somewhere away from here, what do we do? How am I even going to get through this year with no job and no financial aid and I've used up the last of the money my grandparents saved for me?

Ugh. Anyway. This is what I've been thinking about lately. My dad keep telling me to get out of California because it's a sinking ship and the economy blows and I'm just like, "And go where? I like it here. I don't want to live in Georgia or Texas and I can't afford to go anywhere else. I might as well stay here." Except I don't say that. I just nod and say, "Uhuh."
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