Meh
Okay, I've not done very much writing as of late. Why? Hell if I know. I've got so much going on that I've not had much of a chance. Don't get me wrong; I've done some writing, but not nearly enough. It's like I'm about to explode if I don't feel productive in my fiction work.
Monday, I'll be attending a wake for my friend in North Carolina. It sucks that they're gone. What can I do but run my fingers up through my bangs and take a deep breath. There - done and over with. Moving on...
I don't let things like this ruin my mood, my life or who I am. I don't hold the suicide against'em, either. He did what he had to do and I understand that. I don't condone it, but I refuse to condemn it, either. It what he needed to do and now it's done. I wish'em luck in whatever lies ahead on the other side of the mortal coil.
It's not the way I would wanna go, but I also refuse to speak for everyone else - not everyone is the same and I'm open minded enough to realize that. Hell, I told myself I wasn't going to make a big deal out of it on my live journal and here I am, writing about it. What can I say?
On a brighter note, A Break in Chaos is playing in Baltimore tomorrow. We played in Arbutus a week and a half ago - JTC played that same venue the same evening then again last tuesday, the fourth. It went okay, I suppose. George, the bassist and a long-time friend of mine from high school... well, he's not made many of the practices this week because he was in the hospital.
We worry about him. It seems that I must apparently be the expert on all things bi-polar because many of my friends are diagnosed, my exwife was diagnosed, my guitar player is diagnosed, and, invariably, George is diagnosed as BP... Yeah, I know, that was a run-on sentence. Anyhow, the girl that likes George is struggling to understand it. George's foster parents are struggling to understand it... and I'm the one they've been turning to.
See, the thing is, he's been drinking and mixing alcohol with the medication he's taking. From what I understand, it's more than just Lithium. Anyhow, the group of meds he takes... well, it makes him drowsy. So, he combats the weariness by having two or three beers to get a little lubricated, so to speak. He's convinced himself that a few beers get him perked up... but then after the 9th beer and a half-cup of vodka, followed by two Smirnoff ice's, well... yeah.
So, anyhow, he occasionally blacks out and goes on a ... , ah... well... let's call it... an adventure. When he comes to, he remembers nothing of what he did. He'll have injuries, bruises, etc. He'll not know where his car is located. For the most part, he basically wakes up in a place like Bon Secours Hospital, frustrated by the lack of knowledge to what transpired leading up to, during and shortly after his last... shall we say... 'trigger'. He'll have a headache, little or no personal possessions on him, and... everything is a total blur. He went missing around quarter after seven pm, November 5th, Wednesday evening. He turned up in the hospital, just shy of midnight, Friday the 7th.
He's frustrated, tired and hurting all over, embarrassed by the fact that he doesn't remember anything. needless to say, he showed up in time for the friday night show we'll be playing in about 16 hours from now. He's pretty sure he's either been misdiagnosed or that simply being bipolar isn't the only problem. I'd say it's becoming somewhat obvious. There's several possibilities. Multiple personality disorder, allergic reaction to a chemical reaction between his medications and a certain ingredient (whether it be dietary, alcoholic, illicit drug or otherwise), or maybe it's something more. Needless to say, I feel bad for the guy. He's a buddy'n all that. At least he's okay and we have our bassist in time for the show. At least he's not *dead*. He's a good guy with a good heart and gives a damn about his friends. I just wish he wasn't so conflicted with problems that seemingly affect his health more and more as of late. Meh.
Monday, I'll be attending a wake for my friend in North Carolina. It sucks that they're gone. What can I do but run my fingers up through my bangs and take a deep breath. There - done and over with. Moving on...
I don't let things like this ruin my mood, my life or who I am. I don't hold the suicide against'em, either. He did what he had to do and I understand that. I don't condone it, but I refuse to condemn it, either. It what he needed to do and now it's done. I wish'em luck in whatever lies ahead on the other side of the mortal coil.
It's not the way I would wanna go, but I also refuse to speak for everyone else - not everyone is the same and I'm open minded enough to realize that. Hell, I told myself I wasn't going to make a big deal out of it on my live journal and here I am, writing about it. What can I say?
On a brighter note, A Break in Chaos is playing in Baltimore tomorrow. We played in Arbutus a week and a half ago - JTC played that same venue the same evening then again last tuesday, the fourth. It went okay, I suppose. George, the bassist and a long-time friend of mine from high school... well, he's not made many of the practices this week because he was in the hospital.
We worry about him. It seems that I must apparently be the expert on all things bi-polar because many of my friends are diagnosed, my exwife was diagnosed, my guitar player is diagnosed, and, invariably, George is diagnosed as BP... Yeah, I know, that was a run-on sentence. Anyhow, the girl that likes George is struggling to understand it. George's foster parents are struggling to understand it... and I'm the one they've been turning to.
See, the thing is, he's been drinking and mixing alcohol with the medication he's taking. From what I understand, it's more than just Lithium. Anyhow, the group of meds he takes... well, it makes him drowsy. So, he combats the weariness by having two or three beers to get a little lubricated, so to speak. He's convinced himself that a few beers get him perked up... but then after the 9th beer and a half-cup of vodka, followed by two Smirnoff ice's, well... yeah.
So, anyhow, he occasionally blacks out and goes on a ... , ah... well... let's call it... an adventure. When he comes to, he remembers nothing of what he did. He'll have injuries, bruises, etc. He'll not know where his car is located. For the most part, he basically wakes up in a place like Bon Secours Hospital, frustrated by the lack of knowledge to what transpired leading up to, during and shortly after his last... shall we say... 'trigger'. He'll have a headache, little or no personal possessions on him, and... everything is a total blur. He went missing around quarter after seven pm, November 5th, Wednesday evening. He turned up in the hospital, just shy of midnight, Friday the 7th.
He's frustrated, tired and hurting all over, embarrassed by the fact that he doesn't remember anything. needless to say, he showed up in time for the friday night show we'll be playing in about 16 hours from now. He's pretty sure he's either been misdiagnosed or that simply being bipolar isn't the only problem. I'd say it's becoming somewhat obvious. There's several possibilities. Multiple personality disorder, allergic reaction to a chemical reaction between his medications and a certain ingredient (whether it be dietary, alcoholic, illicit drug or otherwise), or maybe it's something more. Needless to say, I feel bad for the guy. He's a buddy'n all that. At least he's okay and we have our bassist in time for the show. At least he's not *dead*. He's a good guy with a good heart and gives a damn about his friends. I just wish he wasn't so conflicted with problems that seemingly affect his health more and more as of late. Meh.