Tales From The Record Shop
Do You Have An ATM?
"Hi, is there an ATM in here?"
"Right behind you," I say for the hundredth time.
"Oh, hello," the customer says as they turn to see the big, tall, glowing ATM machine right in front of their face.
This happens five more times that day. Because people are completely insane. Is it ignorance? Laziness? The inability to find something that's right in front of them? Every single day, some schmoe -- maybe a schmoe who just walked in, maybe a schmoe who has been in the store for hours -- will ask, "Where's your ATM?"
I don't even waste my breath anymore. I just point. Right there. Right where you were just standing, staring at this mysterious shiny thing with buttons and big block letters spelling out "ATM" while you scratched yourself thinking, Gee, I wonder what that stands for. Oh well, I need to ask this girl to find me a money box.
I mean it. All day, every day.
"Do you have an ATM?"
"Hi, where is your ATM?"
"I was told you have an ATM but I can't find it."
"Howzit, I lookin for da kine."
It's right there, RIGHT THERE, you just looked at it two seconds ago! There is a sign, a big glowing sign that says ATM. The sign glows, IT GLOWS! You have to be completely vacant to simply not see such a thing.
But in ten minutes -- just watch -- someone will ask me again.
"Hi, is there an ATM in here?"
"Right behind you," I say for the hundredth time.
"Oh, hello," the customer says as they turn to see the big, tall, glowing ATM machine right in front of their face.
This happens five more times that day. Because people are completely insane. Is it ignorance? Laziness? The inability to find something that's right in front of them? Every single day, some schmoe -- maybe a schmoe who just walked in, maybe a schmoe who has been in the store for hours -- will ask, "Where's your ATM?"
I don't even waste my breath anymore. I just point. Right there. Right where you were just standing, staring at this mysterious shiny thing with buttons and big block letters spelling out "ATM" while you scratched yourself thinking, Gee, I wonder what that stands for. Oh well, I need to ask this girl to find me a money box.
I mean it. All day, every day.
"Do you have an ATM?"
"Hi, where is your ATM?"
"I was told you have an ATM but I can't find it."
"Howzit, I lookin for da kine."
It's right there, RIGHT THERE, you just looked at it two seconds ago! There is a sign, a big glowing sign that says ATM. The sign glows, IT GLOWS! You have to be completely vacant to simply not see such a thing.
But in ten minutes -- just watch -- someone will ask me again.