Goodbye
Saying goodbye is a long process, at least when you know it's coming. Days are too short, nights come and go. Time in general passes too quickly. A part of me tells me that I've been saying goodbye for some time now.
True.
I've said goodbye to my mother only to come back after school. I've waved farewell to my friends after a nice dinner. I've lost friends, happiness, and love, but there's always been a second chance in the same familiar territory. Even with friends that I didn't mean to become distant towards, they're still here and the possibilites for a previous dynamic were still available. The pressing moral is that the parties involved in an ending here, always, pleasantly or otherwise, come back together. No loose ends to fray, no cliffhangers or open endings. Everyone always comes back together. Always.
Not this time, though.
This time I say goodbye to a life I've known since the day I was born, to a place where only a driveway could bring back countless memories. There were tears here, there was love. There was laughter and hurt and redemption. And all of these things, they're still there, just a bit faded, that's all. The laughter isn't so loud, the heartbreak not quite as painful, the triumph not as prideful, the love not as passionate, the tears not as plentiful.
To say goodbye to this place is to depart from my life. If there was any other place that I was going to, then saying goodbye wouldn't what I'm feeling now. It'd be easier for one, to hang on to those memories, to be slightly attached. I have to detach myself from this place, I have to become a new person. I'll still come back home, but I'll wonder where home really is. I'll want to stay out and drive around, but I'll know what's better for me. These memories that I hold in my heart, it's almost like I have to detach from them as well. I'm saying goodbye to the chances to make friends, forgive enemies, to rejuvenate a story with every waking day. I'm saying goodbye to a time that's already left me. Everything I'm trying to hold on to is already gone.
Though there is still love here in my heart for this place and all it stands for...
It's time to start again.
It's time to tear myself apart and say goodbye.
True.
I've said goodbye to my mother only to come back after school. I've waved farewell to my friends after a nice dinner. I've lost friends, happiness, and love, but there's always been a second chance in the same familiar territory. Even with friends that I didn't mean to become distant towards, they're still here and the possibilites for a previous dynamic were still available. The pressing moral is that the parties involved in an ending here, always, pleasantly or otherwise, come back together. No loose ends to fray, no cliffhangers or open endings. Everyone always comes back together. Always.
Not this time, though.
This time I say goodbye to a life I've known since the day I was born, to a place where only a driveway could bring back countless memories. There were tears here, there was love. There was laughter and hurt and redemption. And all of these things, they're still there, just a bit faded, that's all. The laughter isn't so loud, the heartbreak not quite as painful, the triumph not as prideful, the love not as passionate, the tears not as plentiful.
To say goodbye to this place is to depart from my life. If there was any other place that I was going to, then saying goodbye wouldn't what I'm feeling now. It'd be easier for one, to hang on to those memories, to be slightly attached. I have to detach myself from this place, I have to become a new person. I'll still come back home, but I'll wonder where home really is. I'll want to stay out and drive around, but I'll know what's better for me. These memories that I hold in my heart, it's almost like I have to detach from them as well. I'm saying goodbye to the chances to make friends, forgive enemies, to rejuvenate a story with every waking day. I'm saying goodbye to a time that's already left me. Everything I'm trying to hold on to is already gone.
Though there is still love here in my heart for this place and all it stands for...
It's time to start again.
It's time to tear myself apart and say goodbye.