It's not even your past
I'm not ready for tomorrow. Will I ever be?
I'm not ready to wake up. I'm not ready to end today; mostly though, it's this week that I don't want to close.
To know it and to read the details of its downhill turn, the tiniest shreds of information that I can find...the fascination I have with it I will never understand. Maybe it's because I'm a part of the story, I'm the villain in a storybook ending gone wrong. I'm playing the part that intrigues everyone, once in their life. You always read about it, think about how cool it would be to let go and be on the other side. But what you don't think about is how you got there already, how it went this far. Most importantly though, you think, how do you not regret it? It all makes you feel some sort of sympathy for the villain, the antagonist. Does anybody care what he feels? To him, his reasons are vindicated. His victory is defeat. If you can see the reasons for past defeat, knowing every angle of the battle from beginning, middle, and end will advantage you whist you are playing the same game, for possibly even higher stakes. You won't know what the last battle's stakes were though, until you can read the story.
The one to see through the heat of conflict will solve a secret for the ages. We never know the true impact of our actions in the moment, is what I'm trying to say.
The villain is heartless in the face of the advesary's both necessary and unnecessary defeat. Is heartless inhuman or just strength? Does this mean the villain has to be merciless, too? Does he even know he has an enemy?
Maybe someday I'll know why I want to know why. It's not even my past. I shouldn't even care. This is what's keeping me awake tonight.
I'm not ready to wake up. I'm not ready to end today; mostly though, it's this week that I don't want to close.
To know it and to read the details of its downhill turn, the tiniest shreds of information that I can find...the fascination I have with it I will never understand. Maybe it's because I'm a part of the story, I'm the villain in a storybook ending gone wrong. I'm playing the part that intrigues everyone, once in their life. You always read about it, think about how cool it would be to let go and be on the other side. But what you don't think about is how you got there already, how it went this far. Most importantly though, you think, how do you not regret it? It all makes you feel some sort of sympathy for the villain, the antagonist. Does anybody care what he feels? To him, his reasons are vindicated. His victory is defeat. If you can see the reasons for past defeat, knowing every angle of the battle from beginning, middle, and end will advantage you whist you are playing the same game, for possibly even higher stakes. You won't know what the last battle's stakes were though, until you can read the story.
The one to see through the heat of conflict will solve a secret for the ages. We never know the true impact of our actions in the moment, is what I'm trying to say.
The villain is heartless in the face of the advesary's both necessary and unnecessary defeat. Is heartless inhuman or just strength? Does this mean the villain has to be merciless, too? Does he even know he has an enemy?
Maybe someday I'll know why I want to know why. It's not even my past. I shouldn't even care. This is what's keeping me awake tonight.