You Bastards!
The situation is worse than I thought. Far worse.
I've been worried over the fate of Jeeves (formerly) of (formerly) AskJeeves.com, now just Ask.com. The last we saw of him, he had been taken prisoner by an intergalactic bounty hunter and frozen in carbonite:
Well, I tried to find a way to save him ( see here), but nothing was coming through, and then tonight, I saw a rotating ad at the top of my youtube page. It was advertising The Algorithm, Ask.com's new marketing device.
The Algorithm is... um... a search-functionality feature? A DaVinci-Code-like new mascot for Ask.com?
I really actually have no idea what The Algorithm is supposed to be, which I suppose means that the campaign is just bad advertising... but in any case...
Every time you move your pointer over the ad, it moves through a series of three phrases. And here they are:
I think a lesson in advertising might be necessary here:
1) Never tell people your newest marketing scheme is responsible for the death of a mascot you once marketed to kids. It's like Count Chocula saying, "Oh, you vant to know vhere Frankenberry vent? Vell, first I exsangvinated him and then i fed his badly-stitched body to my children of the night. Duh." Or if Wendell the Baker's new slogan were, "Yeah, the other two bakers were bugging me, so I shoved them in the oven."
2) Avoid religious references, especially ones that even alienate the target audience. "Finding Jesus" automatically sounds like a Born-Again Christian. Born-Again Christians? Not a turn-on to non-Born-Again Christians, and "constantly" being born again? Not a plus in Born-Again eyes. After all, once you've seen the light, you're kind of just sort of supposed to stay in it.
3) Don't tell people your product is unwanted by any group of people whom you might want to use it. The only things that become more popular once they've been banned are alcohol, young-adult fiction, and Dat Phan message board users. Saying your search engine (or its new feature or whatever) has been banned in some foreign country only makes people think it's bad. In fact, this even happens if people think dimly of the people who banned it. For instance, it's not good advertising to say "This book was one of the books burned by the Nazis." Neither is it good advertising to say "This film was shot completely in Europe since the director isn't sure if, upon setting foot in the US, he'll be arrested for drugging and raping a 13-year-old back back in the 70s. Come see this wonderful film."
Just sayin'.
Rest In Peace, Jeeves. May flights of angels sing you to your rest. ...Or alien bounty hunters. Whichever are more readily available.
.
I've been worried over the fate of Jeeves (formerly) of (formerly) AskJeeves.com, now just Ask.com. The last we saw of him, he had been taken prisoner by an intergalactic bounty hunter and frozen in carbonite:
Well, I tried to find a way to save him ( see here), but nothing was coming through, and then tonight, I saw a rotating ad at the top of my youtube page. It was advertising The Algorithm, Ask.com's new marketing device.
The Algorithm is... um... a search-functionality feature? A DaVinci-Code-like new mascot for Ask.com?
I really actually have no idea what The Algorithm is supposed to be, which I suppose means that the campaign is just bad advertising... but in any case...
Every time you move your pointer over the ad, it moves through a series of three phrases. And here they are:
I think a lesson in advertising might be necessary here:
1) Never tell people your newest marketing scheme is responsible for the death of a mascot you once marketed to kids. It's like Count Chocula saying, "Oh, you vant to know vhere Frankenberry vent? Vell, first I exsangvinated him and then i fed his badly-stitched body to my children of the night. Duh." Or if Wendell the Baker's new slogan were, "Yeah, the other two bakers were bugging me, so I shoved them in the oven."
2) Avoid religious references, especially ones that even alienate the target audience. "Finding Jesus" automatically sounds like a Born-Again Christian. Born-Again Christians? Not a turn-on to non-Born-Again Christians, and "constantly" being born again? Not a plus in Born-Again eyes. After all, once you've seen the light, you're kind of just sort of supposed to stay in it.
3) Don't tell people your product is unwanted by any group of people whom you might want to use it. The only things that become more popular once they've been banned are alcohol, young-adult fiction, and Dat Phan message board users. Saying your search engine (or its new feature or whatever) has been banned in some foreign country only makes people think it's bad. In fact, this even happens if people think dimly of the people who banned it. For instance, it's not good advertising to say "This book was one of the books burned by the Nazis." Neither is it good advertising to say "This film was shot completely in Europe since the director isn't sure if, upon setting foot in the US, he'll be arrested for drugging and raping a 13-year-old back back in the 70s. Come see this wonderful film."
Just sayin'.
Rest In Peace, Jeeves. May flights of angels sing you to your rest. ...Or alien bounty hunters. Whichever are more readily available.
.