Meesa Lickin' Dehr Back Endies! ...Whah?? Whah meesa say?
"We cannot put the face of a person on a stamp unless
said person is deceased. My suggestion, therefore,
is that you drop dead."
-- J. Edward Day, Postmaster General, 1962.
Okay, something has gone terribly wrong in the US Postal Service. On May 25, 2007, a series of stamps will be released commemorating Star Wars. But not a generic Death Star shot or "The Vehicles of Star Wars" or "LucasArts Aliens" or even "Cartoon Network's Clone Wars." No, these stamps depict the lead actors of Star Wars who, with the exception of Sir Alec Guiness (god rest his soul), are very much alive... except Mark Hamill, who's currently dead to me. ...And according to the USPS guidelines, to get your face on a stamp, you need to be dead for 10 years (or, if you were president, only 1 year).
Yes, yes, technically the stamps depict the characters, and I'm sure all of them died a long time ago (in a galaxy far far ashutup). But it's kind of the same faces. If you gave these stamps to someone, they'd be able to say they had a Carrie Fisher or Ian McDiarmid stamp, and that's rule-breakingly stupid (and not just because Carrie's a crazy pill-popping Paul-Simon-screwer).
But it's happening, and nobody's complaining about it, so I sense that people are keeping quiet now only to use this overturning of conventions to forward their own agendas. I can only assume this means there's some philatelist coven meeting right now, secretly revising their plans to get the long-awaited Happy Days commemorative stamp set out earlier (Hint: it originally involved murdering Tom Bosley without Angela Lansbury finding out).
But enough of that. There shall be 15 stamps, and I must needs be snarky about it. So let's get to the snark:
Beware, Viceroy. The FedEx agents have gone too far this time.
It's the ship that made the Express Mail run with less than twelve parcels.
Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a box labeled 'Wookiee'.
We are made to meter, it's our lot in life.
Tatooine is sparcely populated. I should be able to finish my route quickly, master.
Put Captain Solo in the envelope.
I find your insufficient postage...disturbing.
Master die, you can't Yoda.
These are not the coils you're looking for.
Welcome, Inverted Jenny. I have been expecting you.
Neither of these storm troopers stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.
All squads report to Postmaster General Antilles.
Deliver or deliver not. There is no leaving it on the back porch with a little note letting the homeowner know.
You were the Overnight Guaranteed! It was said that you would destroy UPS, not join them! Bring balance to the force, not go postal!
Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. I can't make this thing dispense the 2-cent stamp I need.
.
said person is deceased. My suggestion, therefore,
is that you drop dead."
-- J. Edward Day, Postmaster General, 1962.
Okay, something has gone terribly wrong in the US Postal Service. On May 25, 2007, a series of stamps will be released commemorating Star Wars. But not a generic Death Star shot or "The Vehicles of Star Wars" or "LucasArts Aliens" or even "Cartoon Network's Clone Wars." No, these stamps depict the lead actors of Star Wars who, with the exception of Sir Alec Guiness (god rest his soul), are very much alive... except Mark Hamill, who's currently dead to me. ...And according to the USPS guidelines, to get your face on a stamp, you need to be dead for 10 years (or, if you were president, only 1 year).
Yes, yes, technically the stamps depict the characters, and I'm sure all of them died a long time ago (in a galaxy far far ashutup). But it's kind of the same faces. If you gave these stamps to someone, they'd be able to say they had a Carrie Fisher or Ian McDiarmid stamp, and that's rule-breakingly stupid (and not just because Carrie's a crazy pill-popping Paul-Simon-screwer).
But it's happening, and nobody's complaining about it, so I sense that people are keeping quiet now only to use this overturning of conventions to forward their own agendas. I can only assume this means there's some philatelist coven meeting right now, secretly revising their plans to get the long-awaited Happy Days commemorative stamp set out earlier (Hint: it originally involved murdering Tom Bosley without Angela Lansbury finding out).
But enough of that. There shall be 15 stamps, and I must needs be snarky about it. So let's get to the snark:
Beware, Viceroy. The FedEx agents have gone too far this time.
It's the ship that made the Express Mail run with less than twelve parcels.
Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a box labeled 'Wookiee'.
We are made to meter, it's our lot in life.
Tatooine is sparcely populated. I should be able to finish my route quickly, master.
Put Captain Solo in the envelope.
I find your insufficient postage...disturbing.
Master die, you can't Yoda.
These are not the coils you're looking for.
Welcome, Inverted Jenny. I have been expecting you.
Neither of these storm troopers stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.
All squads report to Postmaster General Antilles.
Deliver or deliver not. There is no leaving it on the back porch with a little note letting the homeowner know.
You were the Overnight Guaranteed! It was said that you would destroy UPS, not join them! Bring balance to the force, not go postal!
Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. I can't make this thing dispense the 2-cent stamp I need.
.