Buyer Beware
While looking through the international offerings for Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie, I started reading the negative reviews for it. Since I love the show so much, I was curious as to what people would fault it for (e.g. 'This particular episode/movie was not funny,' or 'I hate Mike Nelson,' or the like).
On the American Amazon.com, an Australian guy gave it one of of five stars, saying:
"Unfortunately they don't screen the TV show here so I didn't know what I was getting myself into. When I read that they were showing a movie on TV about a guy who is forced to watch one of the worst movies in the world, I didn't know that guy was about to become me! Take a bad movie, replace the lines so that all hint of plot is gone, and you are basically left with nothing but a few funny jokes that you could've told better yourself, dragged out over more than an hour.
Congratulations to one of the worst movies I've ever seen half of."
"Replace the lines" ...Wait. Does he think the dialogue was redubbed? Sorry, guy, but that's the original crappy dialogue in "This Island Earth." Perhaps he's merely confusing his words, and he means to say that he didn't appreciate Mike and the bots doing funny voices making fun of the characters. If so, he should talk to this next guy.
On the German Amazon.com, this one-out-of-five reared its head:
"Meine Rezension bezieht sich ausschließlich auf die synchronisierte Fassung: Ich weiß nicht genau, was den Reiz dieses Films ausmachen soll, aber selten zuvor habe ich so unwitzige, gekünstelte Sprüche in einer Komödie gehört. Den Sprechern Oliver Kalkofe und Oliver Welke fehlt jede Spontanität. Da hab ich mich schon über bessere Sprüchereißer im Kino geärgert. Nach einiger Zeit beginnen die beiden dann auch echt zu nerven. Da sollte man sich "Metaluna IV antwortet nicht" lieber selber anschauen und mit eigenen Freunden kommentieren, das macht doch mehr Spaß."
For the non-Bly readers of this journal, I'll provide the Babelfished translation:
"My review exclusively refers to the synchronized version: I do not know exactly, what is to constitute the attraction of this film, but rarely before I so unwitzige, gekuenstelte sayings in a comedy heard. Each Spontanitaet is missing to the speakers of olive Kalkofe and olive withered ones. There I at better Spruechereisser in the cinema were already annoyed. After some time the two begin then also genuinly to nerves. There one should not "Metaluna IV answers itself" to rather look at and with own friends commentate, makes nevertheless more fun."
Now, I admit I don't know German, so maybe this makes a lot more sense than it sounds like, but what it sounds like is this person bought the MST3K movie and got annoyed at the people talking during the film. Hmm. Perhaps these people should read the back of the box before buying the movie.
PS: Are there any speakers of olive out there? We need you in the theater.
On the American Amazon.com, an Australian guy gave it one of of five stars, saying:
"Unfortunately they don't screen the TV show here so I didn't know what I was getting myself into. When I read that they were showing a movie on TV about a guy who is forced to watch one of the worst movies in the world, I didn't know that guy was about to become me! Take a bad movie, replace the lines so that all hint of plot is gone, and you are basically left with nothing but a few funny jokes that you could've told better yourself, dragged out over more than an hour.
Congratulations to one of the worst movies I've ever seen half of."
"Replace the lines" ...Wait. Does he think the dialogue was redubbed? Sorry, guy, but that's the original crappy dialogue in "This Island Earth." Perhaps he's merely confusing his words, and he means to say that he didn't appreciate Mike and the bots doing funny voices making fun of the characters. If so, he should talk to this next guy.
On the German Amazon.com, this one-out-of-five reared its head:
"Meine Rezension bezieht sich ausschließlich auf die synchronisierte Fassung: Ich weiß nicht genau, was den Reiz dieses Films ausmachen soll, aber selten zuvor habe ich so unwitzige, gekünstelte Sprüche in einer Komödie gehört. Den Sprechern Oliver Kalkofe und Oliver Welke fehlt jede Spontanität. Da hab ich mich schon über bessere Sprüchereißer im Kino geärgert. Nach einiger Zeit beginnen die beiden dann auch echt zu nerven. Da sollte man sich "Metaluna IV antwortet nicht" lieber selber anschauen und mit eigenen Freunden kommentieren, das macht doch mehr Spaß."
For the non-Bly readers of this journal, I'll provide the Babelfished translation:
"My review exclusively refers to the synchronized version: I do not know exactly, what is to constitute the attraction of this film, but rarely before I so unwitzige, gekuenstelte sayings in a comedy heard. Each Spontanitaet is missing to the speakers of olive Kalkofe and olive withered ones. There I at better Spruechereisser in the cinema were already annoyed. After some time the two begin then also genuinly to nerves. There one should not "Metaluna IV answers itself" to rather look at and with own friends commentate, makes nevertheless more fun."
Now, I admit I don't know German, so maybe this makes a lot more sense than it sounds like, but what it sounds like is this person bought the MST3K movie and got annoyed at the people talking during the film. Hmm. Perhaps these people should read the back of the box before buying the movie.
PS: Are there any speakers of olive out there? We need you in the theater.