On the playground's where I spent most of my days
I went to Pennsylvania over the weekend.
My major goal was to make fun of stuff at Wizard World Philly. However, I got distracted. By, of all things, Wizard World Philly. Thanks a lot, WWP. Thanks for NOTHING.
Except all my awesome swag. And cheap comics. And even cheaper comics. And, surprisingly, even cheaper comics.
There were only two guys in costume on Friday, the one day I went. (Apparently, the bulk of the comicosplayers(TM) only come out during the Weekend Proper.) And one of these two guys dressed as Booster Gold, possibly the most self-absorbed, prissy, preppy, loser superheroes of all time. So I have to assume he was wearing the costume as some sort of penance. Or perhaps he lost an especially awful bet.
Either way, he's been punished enough for his foolishness, and I didn't take his late-30s-gutsy photo.
And, as far as the other guy goes...well, let's start by letting you know he was dressed as the Riddler. Okay, that's fine. Popularly thought of as the wussiest recurring villain in Batman, sure, but since Riddler's revival in the Hush storyline, I think that honor should be given to Mad Hatter. 'Nuff said. So, I first tried to take his photo without his knowing. It came out as a long smear of green as he moved, unaware, to the other side of the booth. I tried again. Same result.
So I asked him if I could take his picture. He nodded enthusiatically, and said what sounded like, "Guh-okay!!" (yes, with two exclamation points). So I started to snap a digital photo...but saw he was moving. Looking up, I realized, this was because he was now trying to pull a pair of heavy leather gloves out of his pants pocket...and CLICK, the photo came out as a blur again.
"Hold on a sec," he said, and I waited. Finally the gloves were on, and my finger depressed the button again...and he was moving. "Here," he said, and he began doing the Jim Carey cane pose...and then as I started to take the photo, he tried to strike it again, as if he somehow felt he hadn't hit his mark the first time.
And then he did it again. "Thanks!" I said tightly. "Now hold that right there." He froze, finally still...except for his head. He was trying get his long hair to fall correctly, and I waited until he managed to get to the end of a pendulating arc and hit the button AS A FAT MAN CARRYING TWO BROWN PAPER BAGS OF STAR WARS MINIATURES BUMPED ME IN THE BACK.
Knowing, I'd never even get this close to a freeze frame with this Ritalin Riddler, I smilingly thanked him and let Fate have its way.
Those are the only two pictures I took at Wizard World Philly. I know. I've failed myself as a professional punk-mocker.
Luckily, for the rest of the trip, I was on the lookout and redeemed myself at least a little. Just a little more for this entry, and then I'll take a break.
When I showed up at the Philadelphia International Airport, this symbol greeted me:
It's the logo for Philly International, but what I'd like to know is: what's that tiny runway on the side for? The short planes? Helicopters? Or perhaps it's the Kiss & Go lane, where the planes that don't have parking permits have to just open their doors and let their passengers out real fast before pulling around the circle and flying off again.
Also, why did that plane swerve onto this runway like that? Drunk pilot? Amish buggy blocking Runway 4?
Speaking of pilots and religion, a sermon board outside a Methodist church on our way into Swarthmore read:
"IF GOD IS YOUR COPILOT,
SWITCH SEATS"
Immediately, I had to wonder why the preacher didn't want to sit next to you if you knew God from the workplace. After all, shouldn't he want you close if you hang out with God that often? Or maybe that's exactly why you're supposed to switch seats: all those stupid retirees in the front three rows are out of touch with today's god market. They don't get this generation's god culture references. The preacher needs all God's friends from work to move closer and form a godfortress for him.
Speaking of God and construction, I was wandering through the airport's giftshops and saw an entire shelf of Bible-themed puzzle books. This one is the best:
What an awesome idea! Sure there are jigsaw puzzle mysteries and jigsaw puzzle crosswords, but jigsaw puzzle word searches? Brilliant! You'd have to refer to the Word Bank to figure out which pieces fit together. Even better, you could give the jigsaw a title and not worry about a Word Bank. So the puzzle would be to:
1) Figure out what the hidden words are that all relate to the title.
2) Figure out how the pieces fit together. (interchangeable with Step 1)
3) Find the hidden words and circle them.
4) Read the unused letters for a message/quote relating to the title.
I'm gonna make a fricking fortune with this. Just watch me.
More Philly later.
My major goal was to make fun of stuff at Wizard World Philly. However, I got distracted. By, of all things, Wizard World Philly. Thanks a lot, WWP. Thanks for NOTHING.
Except all my awesome swag. And cheap comics. And even cheaper comics. And, surprisingly, even cheaper comics.
There were only two guys in costume on Friday, the one day I went. (Apparently, the bulk of the comicosplayers(TM) only come out during the Weekend Proper.) And one of these two guys dressed as Booster Gold, possibly the most self-absorbed, prissy, preppy, loser superheroes of all time. So I have to assume he was wearing the costume as some sort of penance. Or perhaps he lost an especially awful bet.
Either way, he's been punished enough for his foolishness, and I didn't take his late-30s-gutsy photo.
And, as far as the other guy goes...well, let's start by letting you know he was dressed as the Riddler. Okay, that's fine. Popularly thought of as the wussiest recurring villain in Batman, sure, but since Riddler's revival in the Hush storyline, I think that honor should be given to Mad Hatter. 'Nuff said. So, I first tried to take his photo without his knowing. It came out as a long smear of green as he moved, unaware, to the other side of the booth. I tried again. Same result.
So I asked him if I could take his picture. He nodded enthusiatically, and said what sounded like, "Guh-okay!!" (yes, with two exclamation points). So I started to snap a digital photo...but saw he was moving. Looking up, I realized, this was because he was now trying to pull a pair of heavy leather gloves out of his pants pocket...and CLICK, the photo came out as a blur again.
"Hold on a sec," he said, and I waited. Finally the gloves were on, and my finger depressed the button again...and he was moving. "Here," he said, and he began doing the Jim Carey cane pose...and then as I started to take the photo, he tried to strike it again, as if he somehow felt he hadn't hit his mark the first time.
And then he did it again. "Thanks!" I said tightly. "Now hold that right there." He froze, finally still...except for his head. He was trying get his long hair to fall correctly, and I waited until he managed to get to the end of a pendulating arc and hit the button AS A FAT MAN CARRYING TWO BROWN PAPER BAGS OF STAR WARS MINIATURES BUMPED ME IN THE BACK.
Knowing, I'd never even get this close to a freeze frame with this Ritalin Riddler, I smilingly thanked him and let Fate have its way.
Those are the only two pictures I took at Wizard World Philly. I know. I've failed myself as a professional punk-mocker.
Luckily, for the rest of the trip, I was on the lookout and redeemed myself at least a little. Just a little more for this entry, and then I'll take a break.
When I showed up at the Philadelphia International Airport, this symbol greeted me:
It's the logo for Philly International, but what I'd like to know is: what's that tiny runway on the side for? The short planes? Helicopters? Or perhaps it's the Kiss & Go lane, where the planes that don't have parking permits have to just open their doors and let their passengers out real fast before pulling around the circle and flying off again.
Also, why did that plane swerve onto this runway like that? Drunk pilot? Amish buggy blocking Runway 4?
Speaking of pilots and religion, a sermon board outside a Methodist church on our way into Swarthmore read:
"IF GOD IS YOUR COPILOT,
SWITCH SEATS"
Immediately, I had to wonder why the preacher didn't want to sit next to you if you knew God from the workplace. After all, shouldn't he want you close if you hang out with God that often? Or maybe that's exactly why you're supposed to switch seats: all those stupid retirees in the front three rows are out of touch with today's god market. They don't get this generation's god culture references. The preacher needs all God's friends from work to move closer and form a godfortress for him.
Speaking of God and construction, I was wandering through the airport's giftshops and saw an entire shelf of Bible-themed puzzle books. This one is the best:
What an awesome idea! Sure there are jigsaw puzzle mysteries and jigsaw puzzle crosswords, but jigsaw puzzle word searches? Brilliant! You'd have to refer to the Word Bank to figure out which pieces fit together. Even better, you could give the jigsaw a title and not worry about a Word Bank. So the puzzle would be to:
1) Figure out what the hidden words are that all relate to the title.
2) Figure out how the pieces fit together. (interchangeable with Step 1)
3) Find the hidden words and circle them.
4) Read the unused letters for a message/quote relating to the title.
I'm gonna make a fricking fortune with this. Just watch me.
More Philly later.