"5-Minute" Study Break
This week has been stressful, so I'm taking a study break. Good. A break from breaking. Yep, I'm doing jus' fine. Sheesh.
But yes, a study break. Because this week, I've been all over Chapel Hill and Carrboro, and I've used up a full set of camera batteries. From me to you, it's:
Mini-Exhibit 3:
Who Wants To Buy That?
Last Saturday was the ABC (Attic Basement Closet) Sale at my family's church. It's basically a yard sale where you provide the stuff to sell, but you don't get the money; the church's outreach programs get the money. Usually, the stuff I find is fairly average and uninspiring, but this year, I had a camera, so everything was twice as interesting and photogenic.
For example:
Its title is "Talking Little
Smart Smarty"...I think. Or
perhaps it's "Little Smart
Talking Smarty"? In any case,
that one activity card (Letter
Match) was the only one in the
bag. Kids must learn a lot from
a single two-sided card stuck in
Smarty Little McSmartsenSmarter.
First off, when I think of the
phrase "in sync" I seldom free-
associate to the word "One." I
even checked to see if they
changed the Skips to ByeByeBye's,
but they hadn't gotten that
creative. If you're wondering how
the church could afford to sell
a game with CD for only a buck,
rest assured...there was no CD
included.
Out in the White Elephant section, I opened a box and saw one of the least appealing sights ever. At first, I saw it this way:
Sig Heil! For all those times
you can't think of anything to
buy that Jew friend of yours,
it's Mantel-Mount Hitler! You
say company's coming? No prob,
Bob! Shove a chef's hat on him
and claim he's the Dunkin'Donuts
guy!
But then I realized I was standing too far to one side. From overhead, it looked like:
Stop! No! Don't Come Any Closer!
This fearful figurine will make
a charming addition to the hall
directly across from your goth
kid's room. Seeing this every
morning will prepare him/her for
the inevitable stares of normal
passersby.
But again, I realized I was too far over. One step more, and it became:
RICOLAAAAAAA! Just push the button
on his wrist, and Big-Mouth Boece
will sing all the yodeling classics:
"The Lonely Goatherd"!
"The Can You Hear Me Now? Good! Polka"!
and of course, everyone's favorite:
"Little Smart Smarty Old Lady Hoo!"
I was stumped. No matter how I stood, the damn thing made me uncomfortable. And then I looked at the side of the box, where it demonstrates the item's use.
Bottle Deep Throater
Mmhmm. The title to this card
kinda says it all. Yeesh.
Finally, the White Elephant section is known for useless whatsits, but this is more whatsit than normal (from two angles):
What could it be? A bird perch?
A single coin case with handle?
A wooden gear-shift with 25-cent
attached Turbo Boost button?
Even more mysterious is the message on the bottom:
Chair Shop? Is it a brace for a
rocker? Is it a spacer for when
you're trying to keep the wicker
flat? And what's the quarter for?
Half a phone call on the last pay
phone in Spruce Pine, NC?
In any case, I've got to run. More Mini-Exhibit tomorrow, hopefully!
But yes, a study break. Because this week, I've been all over Chapel Hill and Carrboro, and I've used up a full set of camera batteries. From me to you, it's:
Mini-Exhibit 3:
Who Wants To Buy That?
Last Saturday was the ABC (Attic Basement Closet) Sale at my family's church. It's basically a yard sale where you provide the stuff to sell, but you don't get the money; the church's outreach programs get the money. Usually, the stuff I find is fairly average and uninspiring, but this year, I had a camera, so everything was twice as interesting and photogenic.
For example:
Its title is "Talking Little
Smart Smarty"...I think. Or
perhaps it's "Little Smart
Talking Smarty"? In any case,
that one activity card (Letter
Match) was the only one in the
bag. Kids must learn a lot from
a single two-sided card stuck in
Smarty Little McSmartsenSmarter.
First off, when I think of the
phrase "in sync" I seldom free-
associate to the word "One." I
even checked to see if they
changed the Skips to ByeByeBye's,
but they hadn't gotten that
creative. If you're wondering how
the church could afford to sell
a game with CD for only a buck,
rest assured...there was no CD
included.
Out in the White Elephant section, I opened a box and saw one of the least appealing sights ever. At first, I saw it this way:
Sig Heil! For all those times
you can't think of anything to
buy that Jew friend of yours,
it's Mantel-Mount Hitler! You
say company's coming? No prob,
Bob! Shove a chef's hat on him
and claim he's the Dunkin'Donuts
guy!
But then I realized I was standing too far to one side. From overhead, it looked like:
Stop! No! Don't Come Any Closer!
This fearful figurine will make
a charming addition to the hall
directly across from your goth
kid's room. Seeing this every
morning will prepare him/her for
the inevitable stares of normal
passersby.
But again, I realized I was too far over. One step more, and it became:
RICOLAAAAAAA! Just push the button
on his wrist, and Big-Mouth Boece
will sing all the yodeling classics:
"The Lonely Goatherd"!
"The Can You Hear Me Now? Good! Polka"!
and of course, everyone's favorite:
"Little Smart Smarty Old Lady Hoo!"
I was stumped. No matter how I stood, the damn thing made me uncomfortable. And then I looked at the side of the box, where it demonstrates the item's use.
Bottle Deep Throater
Mmhmm. The title to this card
kinda says it all. Yeesh.
Finally, the White Elephant section is known for useless whatsits, but this is more whatsit than normal (from two angles):
What could it be? A bird perch?
A single coin case with handle?
A wooden gear-shift with 25-cent
attached Turbo Boost button?
Even more mysterious is the message on the bottom:
Chair Shop? Is it a brace for a
rocker? Is it a spacer for when
you're trying to keep the wicker
flat? And what's the quarter for?
Half a phone call on the last pay
phone in Spruce Pine, NC?
In any case, I've got to run. More Mini-Exhibit tomorrow, hopefully!