(no subject)
im so fucking over life. i really enjoyed it for awhile. of course, i enjoyed school for awhile too. now i have nothing to look forward to. at all.
so to sum it up- yesterday was pretty damn shitty because i have the 3 worst classes. i hate spanish because the teacher is ultra bitch number one. i hate english because i just do. of course, theres kara. but she doesnt even talk to me anymore so i just dont like it. then theres chem, i used to have friends in that class then they decided to be friends with eachother and not me. i fucking hate when people to that. and then on top of it all, theres a million pounds of work. like so much its incomprehensible.
and today...
history was fine. i didnt finish my homework of course, i was too busy talking to tyler then couldnt finish. i got some work done in history with courtney and talked to her about stuff which was good.
volleyball pe was when everything turned wrong. and im fucking going into it because no one reads this little fucker. anyway, i like this guy in my pe class. so i see him flirting with this other girl and i get super pissed. not because hes flirting with her, but because she is fucking initiating it AND SHE KNOWS I LIKE HIM. god with friends like that, who needs enemies?? anyway, so i get pretty mad but were not going out so theres nothing i can do. then i swear to god i saw him slap her ass and i just went off my rocker then. god i was SO mad. then later i was told that she had the fucking nerve to say "he was all over me, i hope jamie didnt see. i dont want her to be mad at me."
of course im mad at you, your supposed to fucking be my friend and you back stabbed me then LIED ABOUT IT!!! what are you trying to do?!?! what the fuck are you trying to prove?!?!
anyway, then i go to lunch and i cant even look at either of them without raging, so i go with sam to math to work with ting ting, but i just did my own math. so i was not exactly in the happiest mood, but sam told me about all her drama and it made me happier to actually know whats going on in her life.
then i went to math and took a test. woo. talked to molly carly n jenine. cool kids.
of course, he was being SUCH an asshole over text that period, so i was again very upset and unhappy.
get outside, talk to jo and sam a bit, but more jo. i dont see him. i vent to jo and almost start crying. jo and sam have left, so i walk over to talk to benn. almost start crying one more time and he says "I LOVE YOU JAMIEEEE FEEL BETTER". its not like it used to be.
i walk down to get picked up and sit by myself for like 20 minutes or so just playing the game on my phone, when im joined by ali and maddy and kara who know why im al mad and stuff and i actually do start crying but i stop. so i talk to them and feel a little better. then i go home.
i also realized today that i like change for myself, but i dont like when other people change. like benn- he used to be more serious and down to earth and we used to actually be able to have conversations, but now he just doesnt care. hes always high or acts like it and i cant even talk to him anymore.
and pat always used to be crazy, but now hes always high too. its so sad when people change and its not for the better. i feel like ive changed for the better, but i never know.
this is what lj's are good for. venting.
i still overreact
i still get hurt
im still getting hurt.
so to sum it up- yesterday was pretty damn shitty because i have the 3 worst classes. i hate spanish because the teacher is ultra bitch number one. i hate english because i just do. of course, theres kara. but she doesnt even talk to me anymore so i just dont like it. then theres chem, i used to have friends in that class then they decided to be friends with eachother and not me. i fucking hate when people to that. and then on top of it all, theres a million pounds of work. like so much its incomprehensible.
and today...
history was fine. i didnt finish my homework of course, i was too busy talking to tyler then couldnt finish. i got some work done in history with courtney and talked to her about stuff which was good.
volleyball pe was when everything turned wrong. and im fucking going into it because no one reads this little fucker. anyway, i like this guy in my pe class. so i see him flirting with this other girl and i get super pissed. not because hes flirting with her, but because she is fucking initiating it AND SHE KNOWS I LIKE HIM. god with friends like that, who needs enemies?? anyway, so i get pretty mad but were not going out so theres nothing i can do. then i swear to god i saw him slap her ass and i just went off my rocker then. god i was SO mad. then later i was told that she had the fucking nerve to say "he was all over me, i hope jamie didnt see. i dont want her to be mad at me."
of course im mad at you, your supposed to fucking be my friend and you back stabbed me then LIED ABOUT IT!!! what are you trying to do?!?! what the fuck are you trying to prove?!?!
anyway, then i go to lunch and i cant even look at either of them without raging, so i go with sam to math to work with ting ting, but i just did my own math. so i was not exactly in the happiest mood, but sam told me about all her drama and it made me happier to actually know whats going on in her life.
then i went to math and took a test. woo. talked to molly carly n jenine. cool kids.
of course, he was being SUCH an asshole over text that period, so i was again very upset and unhappy.
get outside, talk to jo and sam a bit, but more jo. i dont see him. i vent to jo and almost start crying. jo and sam have left, so i walk over to talk to benn. almost start crying one more time and he says "I LOVE YOU JAMIEEEE FEEL BETTER". its not like it used to be.
i walk down to get picked up and sit by myself for like 20 minutes or so just playing the game on my phone, when im joined by ali and maddy and kara who know why im al mad and stuff and i actually do start crying but i stop. so i talk to them and feel a little better. then i go home.
i also realized today that i like change for myself, but i dont like when other people change. like benn- he used to be more serious and down to earth and we used to actually be able to have conversations, but now he just doesnt care. hes always high or acts like it and i cant even talk to him anymore.
and pat always used to be crazy, but now hes always high too. its so sad when people change and its not for the better. i feel like ive changed for the better, but i never know.
this is what lj's are good for. venting.
i still overreact
i still get hurt
im still getting hurt.