(no subject)

[kisswillkill]

I've experienced a new first tonight, one I'd never thought I'd experience. I feel like the most stupidest person on the face of the earth. I don't know where I messed up, but I did and it was bad, real bad. I promised myself I wasn't going to cry, but I just couldn't seem to help it. Boy do I feel corny. I hate this feeling my tongues still in my throat, my stomachs still in a knot and my heart . . . never mind about that. The worst part of it is was that I was falling in love with him, I do love him. I was letting him get close. He was the only guy who made me JEALOUS! I thought that I had it all figure out when I was sitting in church, the sermon was about trust and who we should trust,the first person I that came to my mind was him. And I realized that I was doing the right thing be dating him and there was no reason that I shouldn't trust him. But obviously we're on different pages. I just wish I knew what I did wrong. Everything was going ok, but when we got into the car we were talking about our relationship. I dont know. . just everything when downhill from there. I hate that I went out with him. I wish I never did. I just lost a really good friend as well as a lot of other things. I talked to Tom and he said that he was a Dick and I could do better. He tried to make me feel better but it didn't work to well. I just dont know where I went wrong, I wish he'd tell me. well I have to go and take off the rest of my make-up, tears took away most of it,but i still have to wash my face. NIGHT.

Sincerely yours,
Desi