not this time
he came home anyway.. i let him in because he has every right to be here.
i went straight to the bedroom and shut the door.
30 minutes later i still couldn't sleep, it was working on 5am and i have class monday nights so i needed to get some sleep. i went in to the living room and got some benedryll from my purse. he started asking me why i was so mad.. i told him i didn't want to talk to him. -i know that in moments like this when i'm so pissed off it's better just to be quiet and seperate- but he couldn't leave well enough alone and had to follow me into the bedroom and start his "what did i do that was so wrong" plea. i went off. i started screaming, no more like shrilling. i have never heard myself yell like that. i think only small dogs could hear it. i was standing, and cesar started backing up towards the door, and with each step he took back, i took one forward. until he was out in the hall again... i was screaming something along the lines of how he could have had the smallest amount of consideration and at least called me to say he was going to be out late (he arrive at 4:30am!!). then he says he couldn't call because he doesn't have a phone. BULLSHIT! his friends have phones, there are payphones, hell there's even a phone in the bar he was at.. so that's bullshit. "all i did was go out with my friends from work, all i did was go out and get to know the people i work with a little better.." THAT'S GREAT! I HOPE THAT YOUR "FRIENDS" ARE GOING TO BAIL YOU OUT OF JAIL WHEN YOU GET CAUGHT DRIVING DRUNK, AND WITH WEED IN YOUR POCKET!!! BECAUSE I WON'T. I WON'T BE THERE FOR YOU. IT'S OVER BETWEEN US. I'M DONE WITH THIS. YOU ASKED ME FOR ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY AND I GAVE IT TO YOU, AND THIS IS WHAT YOU GO AND DO?! IT'S OVER!" i slammed the door and went to sleep. (the benedryll was kicking in)
this morning he woke me up with breakfast. i ate it and told him thank you. then he tried to kiss me. and i pulled away. he tried to rub my feet and i again pulled away. he keeps saying he loves me. but i just can't bring myself to say it. i thought about everything that happened, and i started considering the fact that maybe i over reacted.. still silent, i got up and started picking up the house a bit, when i pick up his clothes from work and empty the pockets to throw them in the wash, when JACKPOT i find nothing more than a sack of weed... i just left it on the ottoman with his keys and wallet. i didn't say anything, because well, whatever if he wants to smoke pot he can, i don't care, as far as i'm concerned he's no longer my husband. he can do what ever the hell he wants. but one thing's for sure, it really is over. that was the last straw, the icing on the cake.. i went into the kitchen (where the washer and dryer is) and threw the clothes in the hamper, and he says "can i have a kiss" and to that i responed "no, i'm sorry. i haven't forgotten what i said last night, and i still mean it."
that was about an hour ago and now he just came running in here to say "jennifer! i swear i don't know how that got in my pocket!" does he really expect me to believe him? not this time.. sorry.
i went straight to the bedroom and shut the door.
30 minutes later i still couldn't sleep, it was working on 5am and i have class monday nights so i needed to get some sleep. i went in to the living room and got some benedryll from my purse. he started asking me why i was so mad.. i told him i didn't want to talk to him. -i know that in moments like this when i'm so pissed off it's better just to be quiet and seperate- but he couldn't leave well enough alone and had to follow me into the bedroom and start his "what did i do that was so wrong" plea. i went off. i started screaming, no more like shrilling. i have never heard myself yell like that. i think only small dogs could hear it. i was standing, and cesar started backing up towards the door, and with each step he took back, i took one forward. until he was out in the hall again... i was screaming something along the lines of how he could have had the smallest amount of consideration and at least called me to say he was going to be out late (he arrive at 4:30am!!). then he says he couldn't call because he doesn't have a phone. BULLSHIT! his friends have phones, there are payphones, hell there's even a phone in the bar he was at.. so that's bullshit. "all i did was go out with my friends from work, all i did was go out and get to know the people i work with a little better.." THAT'S GREAT! I HOPE THAT YOUR "FRIENDS" ARE GOING TO BAIL YOU OUT OF JAIL WHEN YOU GET CAUGHT DRIVING DRUNK, AND WITH WEED IN YOUR POCKET!!! BECAUSE I WON'T. I WON'T BE THERE FOR YOU. IT'S OVER BETWEEN US. I'M DONE WITH THIS. YOU ASKED ME FOR ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY AND I GAVE IT TO YOU, AND THIS IS WHAT YOU GO AND DO?! IT'S OVER!" i slammed the door and went to sleep. (the benedryll was kicking in)
this morning he woke me up with breakfast. i ate it and told him thank you. then he tried to kiss me. and i pulled away. he tried to rub my feet and i again pulled away. he keeps saying he loves me. but i just can't bring myself to say it. i thought about everything that happened, and i started considering the fact that maybe i over reacted.. still silent, i got up and started picking up the house a bit, when i pick up his clothes from work and empty the pockets to throw them in the wash, when JACKPOT i find nothing more than a sack of weed... i just left it on the ottoman with his keys and wallet. i didn't say anything, because well, whatever if he wants to smoke pot he can, i don't care, as far as i'm concerned he's no longer my husband. he can do what ever the hell he wants. but one thing's for sure, it really is over. that was the last straw, the icing on the cake.. i went into the kitchen (where the washer and dryer is) and threw the clothes in the hamper, and he says "can i have a kiss" and to that i responed "no, i'm sorry. i haven't forgotten what i said last night, and i still mean it."
that was about an hour ago and now he just came running in here to say "jennifer! i swear i don't know how that got in my pocket!" does he really expect me to believe him? not this time.. sorry.