(no subject)
Just a thought today: the older we grow in today's world, the more goodbyes may really seem to be the last goodbye.
So this year's cny celebrations were relatively peaceful - visiting my dad was good, but at the same time it struck me how very little I truly know of my dad. This time he spent most of the time talking about world affairs with Christian - a side of him I didn't know about as a child. My memories of him consist of him being either a quiet figure not saying much, or being in conflict with my mom, or talking quite a lot with his friends (in dialect so I didnt really understand.) Also most of my memories of him consist of him looking quite young with dark hair, whereas now most of his hairs are (strikingly) white. And it dawns upon me how much of him I have not seen nor witnessed throughout the past years - his presence has been lacking in a large part of my life, though ironically he has been mentioned way too often in my mom's incessant rantings - more than I would like for a lifetime. And yes - what I've seen of him has been mostly within family life and with my mom's presence - and he had never talked so much about politics or worldy affairs with us.
So anyway, I don't know when I'll ever see him again after this cny. As with some of my friends I've met before they moved overseas. When would I ever see you again? Perhaps I'm feeling oversentimental - but life happens and time passes too soon before you know it. If everything goes according to plan, there would be many goodbyes I will have to say towards the end of this year. And things are going to be very different from then on.
So many things to prepare for this year - and so much uncertainty right now! German exam, masters applications, preparations to leave Sg, wedding preparations, preparations for Tibet trip. And 3 tuition students and a full-time job to boot. Hell yeah.
Quote from my diary for the upcoming month of March: "Best of all, you'll learn that change is one of life's little inevitabilities, and that sometimes allowing yourself to ride the wind like the seeds of a dandelion clock, letting the rush of excitement lift and envelop you, offers an opportunity for something new and wondrous to happen."
So this year's cny celebrations were relatively peaceful - visiting my dad was good, but at the same time it struck me how very little I truly know of my dad. This time he spent most of the time talking about world affairs with Christian - a side of him I didn't know about as a child. My memories of him consist of him being either a quiet figure not saying much, or being in conflict with my mom, or talking quite a lot with his friends (in dialect so I didnt really understand.) Also most of my memories of him consist of him looking quite young with dark hair, whereas now most of his hairs are (strikingly) white. And it dawns upon me how much of him I have not seen nor witnessed throughout the past years - his presence has been lacking in a large part of my life, though ironically he has been mentioned way too often in my mom's incessant rantings - more than I would like for a lifetime. And yes - what I've seen of him has been mostly within family life and with my mom's presence - and he had never talked so much about politics or worldy affairs with us.
So anyway, I don't know when I'll ever see him again after this cny. As with some of my friends I've met before they moved overseas. When would I ever see you again? Perhaps I'm feeling oversentimental - but life happens and time passes too soon before you know it. If everything goes according to plan, there would be many goodbyes I will have to say towards the end of this year. And things are going to be very different from then on.
So many things to prepare for this year - and so much uncertainty right now! German exam, masters applications, preparations to leave Sg, wedding preparations, preparations for Tibet trip. And 3 tuition students and a full-time job to boot. Hell yeah.
Quote from my diary for the upcoming month of March: "Best of all, you'll learn that change is one of life's little inevitabilities, and that sometimes allowing yourself to ride the wind like the seeds of a dandelion clock, letting the rush of excitement lift and envelop you, offers an opportunity for something new and wondrous to happen."