(no subject)
It's Chinese New Year, and it's Valentine's Day, but i'm feeling more horrible than ever.
Once again, I'm made to feel responsible when things go wrong, when all I'd been doing the whole day was trying to be a good daughter/sister. I can't please everybody, and some people should really know their limits and hold more responsibility. It's not like giving mom your number would kill you - after all the spiritual work, you can't be that fragile right?
After everything I'd done, I get shouted at over the phone about my sister, instead of getting any appreciation for helping out the whole day - and being the ONLY one at that. I feel like a goddamn wall, like all the good I try to do is not in the SLIGHTEST noticed or appreciated. Worse, I get shouted at for my sisters' tardiness, for my second sister's quick disappearance and lack of conversation, for things I can't even control. Why do I even try? :(
Update: He just made me feel better with his messages :) Shall try not to get too affected about today's episode - I'm NOT responsible for everything that goes wrong!
People can choose to be miserable or happy. Since this is out of my control, I should see it as simply that. At least this year, I'm not stuck at home bearing the brunt of my mom's temper... and this feels AWESOME :DDD
(PS. As bloody annoying as my mom gets sometimes, I feel that she *sometimes* knows her limits. I guess I should just learn not to get so worked up when she flares up at me for no good reason, and wait a few days for her to be more reasonable ha.)
(PPS. Learnt that she DID prepare red packets for us this year, and this makes me feel a little sad... that she tried, despite the dismal state of things, yet it had to end up this way. Sigh... I just hope that things btwn my second sis and her can improve so I can have a more peaceful life.)
(PPPS. I think I should stop feeling so much for others (ie. my family), and hold my own ground instead.)
Once again, I'm made to feel responsible when things go wrong, when all I'd been doing the whole day was trying to be a good daughter/sister. I can't please everybody, and some people should really know their limits and hold more responsibility. It's not like giving mom your number would kill you - after all the spiritual work, you can't be that fragile right?
After everything I'd done, I get shouted at over the phone about my sister, instead of getting any appreciation for helping out the whole day - and being the ONLY one at that. I feel like a goddamn wall, like all the good I try to do is not in the SLIGHTEST noticed or appreciated. Worse, I get shouted at for my sisters' tardiness, for my second sister's quick disappearance and lack of conversation, for things I can't even control. Why do I even try? :(
Update: He just made me feel better with his messages :) Shall try not to get too affected about today's episode - I'm NOT responsible for everything that goes wrong!
People can choose to be miserable or happy. Since this is out of my control, I should see it as simply that. At least this year, I'm not stuck at home bearing the brunt of my mom's temper... and this feels AWESOME :DDD
(PS. As bloody annoying as my mom gets sometimes, I feel that she *sometimes* knows her limits. I guess I should just learn not to get so worked up when she flares up at me for no good reason, and wait a few days for her to be more reasonable ha.)
(PPS. Learnt that she DID prepare red packets for us this year, and this makes me feel a little sad... that she tried, despite the dismal state of things, yet it had to end up this way. Sigh... I just hope that things btwn my second sis and her can improve so I can have a more peaceful life.)
(PPPS. I think I should stop feeling so much for others (ie. my family), and hold my own ground instead.)