friendships.
in my life, i think i could say that there are four friendships that i truly miss. the first one would be kristi kettle, in first grade. she was the 3rd best friend i ever had. i always thought she was so pretty. she is. and we did things together that i still can't say cuz we had promised each other then that we wouldn't tell anyone. maybe i told one person, but i don't remember. i wonder if she remembers us in first grade.
the other best friend i really miss was ingrid verona pierre. i remember she was such a wonderful singer, and she really liked destiny's child. and jennifer lopez, even though back then in 3rd grade lots of people considered her a slut since it was, back in 3rd grade. but she still liked jlo. and at lunch she'd sing me songs but i'd never really pay attention. well i did, to make her feel good, but i didn't really enjoy it. i feel horrible now. i appreciate these things more. but her voice really was good. i still kind of remember it. and when i moved away, she wrote me a song about our friendship, that we'd always remain "soul sisters" and we'd never forget each other. i still remember her so well. who she liked. who we disliked. that her father was always out working and seh barely saw him. she had a brother named carl in my sister's grade. how we both loved reading. how we were the "top two artists in the class". how we were both kind of tomboys. and that she had big boobs. haha.. but then she moved away a year after i did. one day when seh was moving, i called. we talked... btu then she had to go. so the next day i called her back, but her phone had already been disconnected by the phone company. i've never talked to her since. that day i cried so hard. i had dreams about her a few times, that we got ahold of each other somehow and were talking about how amusing it was, kind of, of how her phone was disconnected but it got fixed or something i can't remember. but those dreams never name true. i still miss her, along with kristi.
my other two best friends i miss are still here. at costa, in fact. i mean sure, we're still friends, one better than the otehr though. but it's not liek it was. we don't talk or hang out like we used to. one of them, i barely know her now. people change. i know i did. i changed a lot after i homeschooled and then moved to hermosa and went to hermosa valley. i changed a lot after 6th grade. but i'm still me. i don't know about my other friends. i wish i could still know who they really are, not how they want other people to see them. that only applies to one of the friends i'm talking about though. the other... i'm not sure. just the other say, diana asked me about them. er, us. it just kinda made me sad again. i love the new friendships i've made. but... i just kinda wish that we could all hang out together. i was really split especially at the end of summer. but... well i don't know how or what to say about it now. hopefully things have changed for the better. i've experienced lots of new things. but i still miss some of the old things. but, i mean, what can you really do about it? really.
or maybe i'm just scared to accept the changes. i'm so confused. but whatever... life goes on.
Oh yeah life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin' is gone