(no subject)
right.
i've come to the conclusion that no matter how shit i feel about everything, i've got to pick myself up and make sure i go through with all this.
it's no good sitting and hurting because the way things are right now are fucking shit. if i'm not willing to change things for myself then everything will just stay the same and i'll receed further into this crappy place i'm at.
i sat down and spoke with my mom. we're gonna go pick up all the new stuff for my room next weekend.
also if i can sort out those tickets and bookings i could be halfway toward a car... although i've got to get back on the mission with getting my full license, after next weekends room makeover i'm going to start my lessons again.
i have lost the best thing to ever happen to me, i can admit that it was not entirely my fault but at the same time it's easily half my fault. whwnever dealt with a situation that proved a big problem instead of working through it and dealing with it i'd just take the easy way around. some things can be done that way but living like that has put me in a place i'm not too fond of. nothing i can do can put that right, but sitting around doing nothing is going to amount to exactly that, nothing.
so the foundations are there, i've started everything i promised myself i would, now i have to stick with it and it will all be ok... i hope.
it's about time i moved myself up a notch or two, i look in the mirror and i know i'm in there somewhere, i think it's about time i showed my face.
i glance outside and amongst all the shitty clouds, i can see a rainbow... how typically symbolic.
x
i've come to the conclusion that no matter how shit i feel about everything, i've got to pick myself up and make sure i go through with all this.
it's no good sitting and hurting because the way things are right now are fucking shit. if i'm not willing to change things for myself then everything will just stay the same and i'll receed further into this crappy place i'm at.
i sat down and spoke with my mom. we're gonna go pick up all the new stuff for my room next weekend.
also if i can sort out those tickets and bookings i could be halfway toward a car... although i've got to get back on the mission with getting my full license, after next weekends room makeover i'm going to start my lessons again.
i have lost the best thing to ever happen to me, i can admit that it was not entirely my fault but at the same time it's easily half my fault. whwnever dealt with a situation that proved a big problem instead of working through it and dealing with it i'd just take the easy way around. some things can be done that way but living like that has put me in a place i'm not too fond of. nothing i can do can put that right, but sitting around doing nothing is going to amount to exactly that, nothing.
so the foundations are there, i've started everything i promised myself i would, now i have to stick with it and it will all be ok... i hope.
it's about time i moved myself up a notch or two, i look in the mirror and i know i'm in there somewhere, i think it's about time i showed my face.
i glance outside and amongst all the shitty clouds, i can see a rainbow... how typically symbolic.
x