I really miss my childhood
I just got back from Kingsport, I haven't been in a while. I guess the reason is because things just aren't the same at all, and it makes me so sad. I think back to the days when going up there was the most exciting thing ever and it would be so fun. On Christmas, Thanksgiving, and during the summer we would always go. We would shop most of the time. And the best thing is that Granddaddy used to love going shopping with us. And I remember when I was a little older, like 11 and 12 or so, and I was getting into music. And I went to an N'SYNC concert there. Going there used to be a big deal, something that meant fun. Now, it's like a different world. Without Granddaddy nothing is the same, and Grandmother isn't the same since he died. The house feels empty and sad. When I was little it seemed like there was always something to do and I was never bored. Now when I go I just sit around most of the time. I got upset today because I was just thinking about how things were years ago and how they are now. It's unbeliveable how it's all changed. I wish more than anything I could go back to those days, when I was happy. It depresses me so much that I can't get those days back, that I can't go back in time and live them again. I was able to go to Granddaddy's grave for the first time in I think 4 years. Used to I would just sit in the car because I couldn't bring myself to get out and go see it. I miss him so much, but I know I'll see him again one day. That always makes me happy.
Tonight I'm going to see Kenny. I really need an answer of if we're getting back together or not. I can't do this anymore. I'm not gonna let him do this to me too much longer, he has to decide.