i don't have to tell you to read it... i know you will...
so this should be fun...
this is where i say a big FUCK YOU!!! to everyone that really deserves it right now. if you think you know what i'm talking about, you probably have no fucking clue. if i'm feeling good about something, let me fucking feel it! I DESERVE TO FUCKING FEEL IT! same goes for anyone. if something makes someone genuinely happy, why not just let them have that? why is that so difficult? could it maybe be a jealousy issue? or a drama queen issue? or does making other people feel bad really make us feel better about ourselves? i'd just like to know when the human race became so disgustingly petty. i don't know if people are misunderstanding the whole situation or if it's a bitter, angry, jealousy issue... i really have no fucking clue right now... and frankly i don't care to know. i don't want to hear the other side of the story, it won't matter anyway. i won't feel any better and it won't resolve anything. i'm sedated right now and i've been drinking(2 vicodin, 1 lortab, 4&1/2 soma, 2 beers, and a shot of jager)... everything is kicking in all at once and i don't really know what else to say about any of this except that i'd appreciate it if everyone just stopped worrying about what i'm doing and focused on themselves because that is where the problem truly lies. i haven't done anything wrong. i haven't hurt anyone. god forbid i succeed in making someone happy. and i'm sorry that he makes ME happy as well, but that isn't something i'm willing to give up just because it bothers someone else. i've got enough issues of my own to deal with. i'm not fully equipped to handle all the extra bullshit, but i'll be damned if i'm gonna let it stop me from feeling what i need to feel. so please feel free to take the bullshit elsewhere. go wallow in your self pity and leave me the hell out of it! sometimes i think people throw the word "friend" around entirely too lightly. i wonder if people even understand the concept of "friends" anymore. a friend is someone who will stand by you no matter what. be there through thick and thin. accept someone for who they are and respect their decisions whether you agree with them or not. and simply BE HAPPY FOR THEM without questioning it. step back and look at the situation for a second. it may seem kind of shitty at first but, you, of all people, should understand that all is fair in love and war. as much as it may suck, that is the honest truth. and if someone has something to say about me, i'd really appreciate it if it would be said TO me. i mean, honesty is the best policy right? or is that a foreign concept as well? oh wait, i already know that answer. fuck, nevermind, i don't know anymore and i don't care. i feel like i'm actually standing for once and i'm not going to let anyone knock me down.
like i said before, if you think this is about you, it's probably not. in fact this isn't even about one specific person. there are a multitude of people that should read this including one of my "friends" that has tried to cut me down in every remotely serious relationship i've ever been in(except the one with evan). shit like that can really hurt a person. almost like telling me that i don't deserve even a moment of happiness. and in some cases those people are right, it's not gonna work, but even then i don't see what could possibly be so bad about letting me smile on the inside for once. i've definitely tried to talk to this person about it before but to no avail. alas, either be happy that WE are good for each other or get the fuck over it! in closing FUCK ALL OF YOU THAT THIS APPLIES TO!
i'm done, goodnight.
this is where i say a big FUCK YOU!!! to everyone that really deserves it right now. if you think you know what i'm talking about, you probably have no fucking clue. if i'm feeling good about something, let me fucking feel it! I DESERVE TO FUCKING FEEL IT! same goes for anyone. if something makes someone genuinely happy, why not just let them have that? why is that so difficult? could it maybe be a jealousy issue? or a drama queen issue? or does making other people feel bad really make us feel better about ourselves? i'd just like to know when the human race became so disgustingly petty. i don't know if people are misunderstanding the whole situation or if it's a bitter, angry, jealousy issue... i really have no fucking clue right now... and frankly i don't care to know. i don't want to hear the other side of the story, it won't matter anyway. i won't feel any better and it won't resolve anything. i'm sedated right now and i've been drinking(2 vicodin, 1 lortab, 4&1/2 soma, 2 beers, and a shot of jager)... everything is kicking in all at once and i don't really know what else to say about any of this except that i'd appreciate it if everyone just stopped worrying about what i'm doing and focused on themselves because that is where the problem truly lies. i haven't done anything wrong. i haven't hurt anyone. god forbid i succeed in making someone happy. and i'm sorry that he makes ME happy as well, but that isn't something i'm willing to give up just because it bothers someone else. i've got enough issues of my own to deal with. i'm not fully equipped to handle all the extra bullshit, but i'll be damned if i'm gonna let it stop me from feeling what i need to feel. so please feel free to take the bullshit elsewhere. go wallow in your self pity and leave me the hell out of it! sometimes i think people throw the word "friend" around entirely too lightly. i wonder if people even understand the concept of "friends" anymore. a friend is someone who will stand by you no matter what. be there through thick and thin. accept someone for who they are and respect their decisions whether you agree with them or not. and simply BE HAPPY FOR THEM without questioning it. step back and look at the situation for a second. it may seem kind of shitty at first but, you, of all people, should understand that all is fair in love and war. as much as it may suck, that is the honest truth. and if someone has something to say about me, i'd really appreciate it if it would be said TO me. i mean, honesty is the best policy right? or is that a foreign concept as well? oh wait, i already know that answer. fuck, nevermind, i don't know anymore and i don't care. i feel like i'm actually standing for once and i'm not going to let anyone knock me down.
like i said before, if you think this is about you, it's probably not. in fact this isn't even about one specific person. there are a multitude of people that should read this including one of my "friends" that has tried to cut me down in every remotely serious relationship i've ever been in(except the one with evan). shit like that can really hurt a person. almost like telling me that i don't deserve even a moment of happiness. and in some cases those people are right, it's not gonna work, but even then i don't see what could possibly be so bad about letting me smile on the inside for once. i've definitely tried to talk to this person about it before but to no avail. alas, either be happy that WE are good for each other or get the fuck over it! in closing FUCK ALL OF YOU THAT THIS APPLIES TO!
i'm done, goodnight.