Language matters (Yes, even when you are joking...)
Okay, y'all, here's my thoughts: language matters.
When you make a sexist joke, and use the word "cunt:" that matters. When you jokingly use the word "nigger:" that matters. When you make jokes about "trannies:" that sure as fuck matters.
For every person who hears that and recognizes the joke, there will be one person who takes that as a sign that those words are acceptable. These are all words that have been used in the past to hurt, to injure, to incite violence. They have a history, and you cannot use them as though they do not. Nothing exists in a vacuum, least of all hateful language.
After the recent shooting in Arizona, many right-wing pundits argued vociferously that the actions of this gunman must be utterly divorced from the political climate in which they occurred. If we listen to them, every single hateful word, every incitement towards violence, every murderous image doesn't matter.
This morning, a friend of mine posted a picture of Hillary Clinton standing at a podium. Behind her was a poster with the word Count on it, but she stood in front of the "o," and the resultant image said Cunt. The tagline said "1,000 words: This picture's worth 'em." When someone objected, my friend started ranting about how Clinton is a "dumb bitch."
They then related a (second-hand) anecdote of a young woman who reportedly said that her teacher sexually harassed her to get him fired so that he couldn't fail her. He called this "women [getting] a free pass." My friend has no thoughts on whether any sexual harassment actually happened to her, and if so, whether she did right in reporting it. The only concern here is for the teacher who now has a permanent record.
Several others chimed in, bringing up the "some people take things too seriously" argument, the "but it's funny" argument and the "you pointing out how hurtful this was is divisive and counter-productive" argument (my favourite!!).
Rather than continuing to post in a comment thread where I am clearly being both ignored and utterly devalued as a person, I am making this note. There, I said: "I just want to weigh in as saying that I agree with B-- 100%. This is another in a series of tiny pricks, bleeding us dry of our rights and dignity. The privilege you enjoy allows you to laugh at something like this--the oppression I suffer obliges me not to. It's not funny; it's just painful and sad."
I have a vagina, and your language/behaviour tells me that's shameful and something to laugh at. Food for thought: the person who gave birth to you also has/had a vagina. Your partner may have a vagina; some of your siblings or your parents siblings may have vaginas. Does that make any of them less of a person worthy of your respect?
If you answered yes, you should re-think whether you belong in society, because no marginalized person is safe with you. I, for one, will be perfectly happy without your "friendship."
When you make a sexist joke, and use the word "cunt:" that matters. When you jokingly use the word "nigger:" that matters. When you make jokes about "trannies:" that sure as fuck matters.
For every person who hears that and recognizes the joke, there will be one person who takes that as a sign that those words are acceptable. These are all words that have been used in the past to hurt, to injure, to incite violence. They have a history, and you cannot use them as though they do not. Nothing exists in a vacuum, least of all hateful language.
After the recent shooting in Arizona, many right-wing pundits argued vociferously that the actions of this gunman must be utterly divorced from the political climate in which they occurred. If we listen to them, every single hateful word, every incitement towards violence, every murderous image doesn't matter.
This morning, a friend of mine posted a picture of Hillary Clinton standing at a podium. Behind her was a poster with the word Count on it, but she stood in front of the "o," and the resultant image said Cunt. The tagline said "1,000 words: This picture's worth 'em." When someone objected, my friend started ranting about how Clinton is a "dumb bitch."
They then related a (second-hand) anecdote of a young woman who reportedly said that her teacher sexually harassed her to get him fired so that he couldn't fail her. He called this "women [getting] a free pass." My friend has no thoughts on whether any sexual harassment actually happened to her, and if so, whether she did right in reporting it. The only concern here is for the teacher who now has a permanent record.
Several others chimed in, bringing up the "some people take things too seriously" argument, the "but it's funny" argument and the "you pointing out how hurtful this was is divisive and counter-productive" argument (my favourite!!).
Rather than continuing to post in a comment thread where I am clearly being both ignored and utterly devalued as a person, I am making this note. There, I said: "I just want to weigh in as saying that I agree with B-- 100%. This is another in a series of tiny pricks, bleeding us dry of our rights and dignity. The privilege you enjoy allows you to laugh at something like this--the oppression I suffer obliges me not to. It's not funny; it's just painful and sad."
I have a vagina, and your language/behaviour tells me that's shameful and something to laugh at. Food for thought: the person who gave birth to you also has/had a vagina. Your partner may have a vagina; some of your siblings or your parents siblings may have vaginas. Does that make any of them less of a person worthy of your respect?
If you answered yes, you should re-think whether you belong in society, because no marginalized person is safe with you. I, for one, will be perfectly happy without your "friendship."