im back from home!
Nothing much to tell. Tried not to eat like a pig while I was at home. Put on a little bit of weight again. I seem to be stuck between 202 and 210lbs fuckin hell!!!! pretty much 210 atm. fucking great. this warm weather is stressing me out - gradually trying to wean myself off hoodies!! doesnt help iv got gross spotty shoulders as well as being a fat beast.
um....what to tell? nothing really. gone over my overdraft limit so my bank account has been cut off....
got back thursday, stayed at piercers, went for a beer last night with next door neighbour then piercer stayed at mine. i do still like him and now im back on the injection and dont have to use condoms im appreciative of the sex! but its like, where is this going and what do i want? i dont know. to be honest the only thing thats making me doubt things is 17 year old (well 18 now). he hasnt text me or anything, but its kinda like, if he came onto me what would i want to do about it? v confusing. i guess us humans are never satisfied when we get what we want!
not to be graphic but its so annoying, wish i could be better in bed but i hate myself so much and have no confidence, n i wont erm, get on top if you will. not that i dont want to but im so worried about being really rubbish. and the problem is that i havent once since wev been sleeping together so im feeling the pressure to be really good when it finally does happen. think im just gunna have to get really drunk. lol. after we had sex last night (lol sorry im sure no one wants to read this!) he was saying how sexy i am n stuff, which was nice but i was thinking how the HELL can he think that. i just find it easier to tell him to do what he wants with me, that way he can enjoy it without me worying about being crap! not good though, theres only so much doggy and missionary hes going to put up with i think. another problem is that hes a bit older than the guys im used to sleeping with so he only wants to have sex once in a day/night. we did it twice once but apart from that its only been once. my sex drive has been really low but now im gettin some i just want more haha. sorry (clearly cheryl no one else reads this) to be going on about sex but its stuff dont feel like i can talk to people about without feeling stupid so i need to write it here!
today iv eaten a big plate of pasta, just put some marg and an egg in it. need some stodge coz im going out tonight n dont wanna get hammered. not got any other food, i bought sausages to grill but some cunt has stolen them all (28!!). nice. oh god. what the hell am i going to wear tonight??? its really really warm today so im guna die if i wear too much.
um....what to tell? nothing really. gone over my overdraft limit so my bank account has been cut off....
got back thursday, stayed at piercers, went for a beer last night with next door neighbour then piercer stayed at mine. i do still like him and now im back on the injection and dont have to use condoms im appreciative of the sex! but its like, where is this going and what do i want? i dont know. to be honest the only thing thats making me doubt things is 17 year old (well 18 now). he hasnt text me or anything, but its kinda like, if he came onto me what would i want to do about it? v confusing. i guess us humans are never satisfied when we get what we want!
not to be graphic but its so annoying, wish i could be better in bed but i hate myself so much and have no confidence, n i wont erm, get on top if you will. not that i dont want to but im so worried about being really rubbish. and the problem is that i havent once since wev been sleeping together so im feeling the pressure to be really good when it finally does happen. think im just gunna have to get really drunk. lol. after we had sex last night (lol sorry im sure no one wants to read this!) he was saying how sexy i am n stuff, which was nice but i was thinking how the HELL can he think that. i just find it easier to tell him to do what he wants with me, that way he can enjoy it without me worying about being crap! not good though, theres only so much doggy and missionary hes going to put up with i think. another problem is that hes a bit older than the guys im used to sleeping with so he only wants to have sex once in a day/night. we did it twice once but apart from that its only been once. my sex drive has been really low but now im gettin some i just want more haha. sorry (clearly cheryl no one else reads this) to be going on about sex but its stuff dont feel like i can talk to people about without feeling stupid so i need to write it here!
today iv eaten a big plate of pasta, just put some marg and an egg in it. need some stodge coz im going out tonight n dont wanna get hammered. not got any other food, i bought sausages to grill but some cunt has stolen them all (28!!). nice. oh god. what the hell am i going to wear tonight??? its really really warm today so im guna die if i wear too much.