I'm a failure in progress
Sometimes I type forever, but I delete it all.
I'm moderately stressed out, and pretty soon, I'll probably be extremely stressed out. Sometimes I feel like I'm alone, because there's no one who understands what I'm going through or where I'm coming from. I can tell they don't understand because anytime I talk about my worries they just reassure me. Everybody has this false faith that things will be ok, they'll get better, they'll work out in the end, yadda yadda. But sometimes they just don't. Nobody ever addresses the reality of things. Sometimes things don't work out, they just don't. Sometimes people end up on the streets and die with a needle in their arm never having accomplished anything or having found someone to make them happy. It happens every day. Sometimes people fail. Sometimes people die too young. Sometimes people never get what they yearn for the most. It's life. So when people tell me it'll work out, I'm a little skeptical. It doesn't help. Worrying is natural. Worrying is legitimate when so much can go wrong that's within or beyond your control. Hoping is just wishful thinking.
I'm tired of being the what I am; a failure in progress. Only I really have the power to change that. But I'm weak. So weak, weak in my will power, my ambition, my determination. It's pathetic. I could tell myself a million times that this is the day it all changes, but tommorrow I'll just slip back into hold haits.
On a lighter note, I saw Star Wars Episode 3 and Kicking and Screaming on Thursday and Friday. Star Wars Episode 3 was cool, it got me a little emotional. It also made me realize that if I was a jedi I'd be a much cooler jedi than any of them.
Kicking and Screaming was hilarious. I hadn't laughed that much in a movie theater in a long time. The last comedy in a theater I saw was the last Austin Powers movie I think.
There has been some strangeness... and almost anymosity(sp?) within my small circle of friends at school. So I came up with the idea of uf having a Real-World-esque meeting, so we could get some things off our chest and resolve some things and be better friends to eachother. I hope it goes well. I'm proud of myself for initiating it. I hope it brings us closer together as friends. If it has the adverse affect than it's probably for the best.
That's all from me, for now.
-stray
I'm moderately stressed out, and pretty soon, I'll probably be extremely stressed out. Sometimes I feel like I'm alone, because there's no one who understands what I'm going through or where I'm coming from. I can tell they don't understand because anytime I talk about my worries they just reassure me. Everybody has this false faith that things will be ok, they'll get better, they'll work out in the end, yadda yadda. But sometimes they just don't. Nobody ever addresses the reality of things. Sometimes things don't work out, they just don't. Sometimes people end up on the streets and die with a needle in their arm never having accomplished anything or having found someone to make them happy. It happens every day. Sometimes people fail. Sometimes people die too young. Sometimes people never get what they yearn for the most. It's life. So when people tell me it'll work out, I'm a little skeptical. It doesn't help. Worrying is natural. Worrying is legitimate when so much can go wrong that's within or beyond your control. Hoping is just wishful thinking.
I'm tired of being the what I am; a failure in progress. Only I really have the power to change that. But I'm weak. So weak, weak in my will power, my ambition, my determination. It's pathetic. I could tell myself a million times that this is the day it all changes, but tommorrow I'll just slip back into hold haits.
On a lighter note, I saw Star Wars Episode 3 and Kicking and Screaming on Thursday and Friday. Star Wars Episode 3 was cool, it got me a little emotional. It also made me realize that if I was a jedi I'd be a much cooler jedi than any of them.
Kicking and Screaming was hilarious. I hadn't laughed that much in a movie theater in a long time. The last comedy in a theater I saw was the last Austin Powers movie I think.
There has been some strangeness... and almost anymosity(sp?) within my small circle of friends at school. So I came up with the idea of uf having a Real-World-esque meeting, so we could get some things off our chest and resolve some things and be better friends to eachother. I hope it goes well. I'm proud of myself for initiating it. I hope it brings us closer together as friends. If it has the adverse affect than it's probably for the best.
That's all from me, for now.
-stray