I should
Keep this more up to date, being as that i thoroughly enjoy reading back through these. in April I will have had this sucker for 4 years. crazy sauce.
Um, I hate tony, because he likes me.
why am i so afraid of getting hurt that i completely shut off? like I really have NO emotion about him, and deep down, i know it's because I'm terrified of what he could do to me if i allowed him in.
I let Matt in, and got shit on.
And I'm just not sure of what would honestly happen to me, If I let Tony in, and got hurt. I don't think I could handle it, and I'm being dead honest here. I really think It would wreck me. Especially since I'm terrified of being 20, and I'm fairly certain something really bad is going to happen... I don't want to make myself vulnerable. I don't want to make it so that I have anything to lose. So I'm not letting Tony anywhere near my heart. he can have my tits, he can have my lips, he can even use my brain sometimes if he wants, but He's not getting his hands on my heart.
It's not done healing yet.
Um, I hate tony, because he likes me.
why am i so afraid of getting hurt that i completely shut off? like I really have NO emotion about him, and deep down, i know it's because I'm terrified of what he could do to me if i allowed him in.
I let Matt in, and got shit on.
And I'm just not sure of what would honestly happen to me, If I let Tony in, and got hurt. I don't think I could handle it, and I'm being dead honest here. I really think It would wreck me. Especially since I'm terrified of being 20, and I'm fairly certain something really bad is going to happen... I don't want to make myself vulnerable. I don't want to make it so that I have anything to lose. So I'm not letting Tony anywhere near my heart. he can have my tits, he can have my lips, he can even use my brain sometimes if he wants, but He's not getting his hands on my heart.
It's not done healing yet.