(no subject)
yesterday at church the pastor's wife spoke for the first time. there wasn't anything too special about what she had to say. she didn't mention anything about palm sunday, which i guess was good because the same story every year gets real old. but anyway, she was talking about forgiveness and she really wasn't the best public speaker - she didn't have much personality. but there was one thing that stood out too me. she told us how when she was writing her sermon she looked up the root words and definitions and language of origin and all that of 'forgiveness' and that in greek it is connected to the word for 'divorce'. she talked about how when you forgive an act you are divorcing yourself from it and not allowing it to hurt you anymore.
i guess this stood out to me because forgiveness and divorce aren't really two concepts that i would put together. to be honest, i'm not a very forgiving person. i always say that i get mad and then i'm over it, which is true. but i hold grudges like no other, and even when i try to forgive something i never really let it go. it's always seemed to me if you forgive an act you're just sending out the message that even if the act happens again you'll eventually forgive them. now don't get me wrong, to an extent forgiveness is completely necessary, but i always felt that if you forgive people it just gives them license to sort of walk over you. but after church i started thinking, should i be more forgiving? i mean, am i closing myself off to people by not being forgiving and letting things continue to hurt me? but then, it's not like every one else thinks of forgiveness as a divorce, so am i right to be a little less forgiving?
i don't know why i just said all that, because basically all it says is that i'm confused. but whatever.
i saw thank you for smoking and it was really good. it constantly brings up the health risks of smoking, but really i just wanted a cigarette more than ever. but besides that i really liked it. you guys should go see it. i also watched this movie called nothing which was really weird. it's about these two guys who can make everything they hate disappear. so really they just end up living in a vast white nothing-ness. i'm reading house of leaves. it's really good and probably the scariest thing i have ever read. the way it's written is crazy. it's written like a text book, but there's only a couple of words on a page sometimes or the words are sideways, backwards, etc. for some parts you need to read it with a mirror. anyway, i highly recommend it to anyone who is looking for a good book to read.
i guess this stood out to me because forgiveness and divorce aren't really two concepts that i would put together. to be honest, i'm not a very forgiving person. i always say that i get mad and then i'm over it, which is true. but i hold grudges like no other, and even when i try to forgive something i never really let it go. it's always seemed to me if you forgive an act you're just sending out the message that even if the act happens again you'll eventually forgive them. now don't get me wrong, to an extent forgiveness is completely necessary, but i always felt that if you forgive people it just gives them license to sort of walk over you. but after church i started thinking, should i be more forgiving? i mean, am i closing myself off to people by not being forgiving and letting things continue to hurt me? but then, it's not like every one else thinks of forgiveness as a divorce, so am i right to be a little less forgiving?
i don't know why i just said all that, because basically all it says is that i'm confused. but whatever.
i saw thank you for smoking and it was really good. it constantly brings up the health risks of smoking, but really i just wanted a cigarette more than ever. but besides that i really liked it. you guys should go see it. i also watched this movie called nothing which was really weird. it's about these two guys who can make everything they hate disappear. so really they just end up living in a vast white nothing-ness. i'm reading house of leaves. it's really good and probably the scariest thing i have ever read. the way it's written is crazy. it's written like a text book, but there's only a couple of words on a page sometimes or the words are sideways, backwards, etc. for some parts you need to read it with a mirror. anyway, i highly recommend it to anyone who is looking for a good book to read.