Seems like its been forever since you've been gone
9:23 AM, Hudson Valley Community College, 2nd floor Library: the not so distant future.
so heres what happened.
I got sick of shit, so I changed it. I fuckin changed everything.
I changed my major, I changed the people I chill with, I even have a new boyfriend.
how crazy is that?
So yea. I'm pretty cozy now I guess, and things just float on by and it feels like I never changed. I just read through a bunch of old entries and remembered how depressed I was. But its not like that anymore . I don't write anymore much, unless I have something good to say. I don't draw anymore, because I'm sick of drawing haha.
Shit I don't even have a job anymore lol
I just realized the sun came out. good deal. its been raining all morning.
I wonder what he's doing right now. I wonder what ever happened to him? I know he screwed himself over with her and I'm pretty sure he got his share of misery. Thats all well I guess. And I guess karma really does come back around. And yet I can't help but feel sorry for it all.
I remember telling myself that I'd have to build everything all up again. I guess I'm getting there, slowly but surely.
I have new awesome friends and I still have some of my old ones that pop in and out every once in a while.
its like...
for the first time I can tell my secrets and someone will listen and not get angry or judge me for them.
I can stay up til 6 in the morning and be completely content with racing the sun home.
I'm not tired anymore. Well. I am, but its a natural tired its a good tired and when I wake up I get back to the daily grind again and its fine.
For once in my life its not getting worse, its slowly slowly getting better.
I feel like I deserve this, but I really don't.
I'm perfectly content with being alone, but I don't have to be right now because I'm surrounded by people who care about me.
no one will probably ever read this but me since this is pretty much an abandoned journal. but I'm so glad every morning I can get up and thank whoever's looking out for me up there.
I was on myspace and facebook thinking how much my life sucked compared to other people's when I was looking at their pictures. How I have no pictures of myself and friends, no pictures of parties, no big groups of girls or guys
Just me.
and then I thought, well I guess thats how its always been.
live your life for yourself and you've got something no one can take away from you.
and those moments will be the only thing you have when you've lost everything else.
Someday I want to make a big album and put in all the people who have ever loved me :)
so heres what happened.
I got sick of shit, so I changed it. I fuckin changed everything.
I changed my major, I changed the people I chill with, I even have a new boyfriend.
how crazy is that?
So yea. I'm pretty cozy now I guess, and things just float on by and it feels like I never changed. I just read through a bunch of old entries and remembered how depressed I was. But its not like that anymore . I don't write anymore much, unless I have something good to say. I don't draw anymore, because I'm sick of drawing haha.
Shit I don't even have a job anymore lol
I just realized the sun came out. good deal. its been raining all morning.
I wonder what he's doing right now. I wonder what ever happened to him? I know he screwed himself over with her and I'm pretty sure he got his share of misery. Thats all well I guess. And I guess karma really does come back around. And yet I can't help but feel sorry for it all.
I remember telling myself that I'd have to build everything all up again. I guess I'm getting there, slowly but surely.
I have new awesome friends and I still have some of my old ones that pop in and out every once in a while.
its like...
for the first time I can tell my secrets and someone will listen and not get angry or judge me for them.
I can stay up til 6 in the morning and be completely content with racing the sun home.
I'm not tired anymore. Well. I am, but its a natural tired its a good tired and when I wake up I get back to the daily grind again and its fine.
For once in my life its not getting worse, its slowly slowly getting better.
I feel like I deserve this, but I really don't.
I'm perfectly content with being alone, but I don't have to be right now because I'm surrounded by people who care about me.
no one will probably ever read this but me since this is pretty much an abandoned journal. but I'm so glad every morning I can get up and thank whoever's looking out for me up there.
I was on myspace and facebook thinking how much my life sucked compared to other people's when I was looking at their pictures. How I have no pictures of myself and friends, no pictures of parties, no big groups of girls or guys
Just me.
and then I thought, well I guess thats how its always been.
live your life for yourself and you've got something no one can take away from you.
and those moments will be the only thing you have when you've lost everything else.
Someday I want to make a big album and put in all the people who have ever loved me :)