Sometimes I hear my voice and its been silent all these years.
So the people I have been with for these past few weeks have made me realize alot of things about myself.
Ive realized everything happens for a reason, and whatever happens happens.
Lo que pase, pase. Thats an old saying in Costa Rica.
Me and brian had a long talk last night and he is about to start his stepwork for NA.
He is really serious about recovery and I want him to be, thats amazingly great.
But for him to start his stepwork..one NA rule is to not be emotionally attached to anyone.
So poo, we decided to be friends so that we can both do this and learn things about ourselves before we give ourselves to eachother and thats awesome. I mean we both want to be together , but I want him to be the best person he can be and I want him to learn new things about himself and for him to do that he shouldnt have to worry about making me happy.
For once in my life, Im feeling like such a selfless person and I love it. No more selfishness.
For once in my life, I want my boyfriend to go and get himself better and work on himself to make him an amazing person more than he already is.
And for once in my life, Im happy with the decision I made. It was mature and selfless.
I think I can make that decision because I care for this kid so fucking much. Not just as a lover but just as a friend ya know. Ive never had such a connection with somebody male or female and to have found that I dont want to loose it, so Ill do whatever it takes to keep it.
When he gets to that certain "step" when he can embrace in a relationship, we agreed we would be together then.
And I really couldnt be happier for him and for me. seriously. I was melancholy last night, but now im realizing its ALL for the better.
Ive realized everything happens for a reason, and whatever happens happens.
Lo que pase, pase. Thats an old saying in Costa Rica.
Me and brian had a long talk last night and he is about to start his stepwork for NA.
He is really serious about recovery and I want him to be, thats amazingly great.
But for him to start his stepwork..one NA rule is to not be emotionally attached to anyone.
So poo, we decided to be friends so that we can both do this and learn things about ourselves before we give ourselves to eachother and thats awesome. I mean we both want to be together , but I want him to be the best person he can be and I want him to learn new things about himself and for him to do that he shouldnt have to worry about making me happy.
For once in my life, Im feeling like such a selfless person and I love it. No more selfishness.
For once in my life, I want my boyfriend to go and get himself better and work on himself to make him an amazing person more than he already is.
And for once in my life, Im happy with the decision I made. It was mature and selfless.
I think I can make that decision because I care for this kid so fucking much. Not just as a lover but just as a friend ya know. Ive never had such a connection with somebody male or female and to have found that I dont want to loose it, so Ill do whatever it takes to keep it.
When he gets to that certain "step" when he can embrace in a relationship, we agreed we would be together then.
And I really couldnt be happier for him and for me. seriously. I was melancholy last night, but now im realizing its ALL for the better.