parachute

May 21, 2003 16:35

upon reaching the ground,
sun-bleached red with cheeks a
piping white,
the parachute heaved its
final sigh of relief --
"what a long way to save one's breath,"
he thought,
"but a person less and i'd have
drifted off."

comments, por favor?

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Comments 3

driedruesunday May 21 2003, 14:43:28 UTC
i don't understand what line 6 is getting at. i get everything else as well as i can without it.

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Poetry anonymous January 28 2006, 07:17:39 UTC
Im not the best poetry critic but I like this!!!
Do you have an ID at the poetry critical?
I just joined!!

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Re: Poetry anonymous January 28 2006, 17:38:12 UTC
you bet i have one. i havent been there in years, though. not to post, anyway. i was the crown bitch of tetto.

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