“Revelations” or “Holy Fucking Shit”
Which, I guess is appropriate considering I went to church today. Not like I listened to the lecture, but I hung out with my hetero girlfriend and got her some dirty looks from her mom, mainly cuz she’s the minister and we were giggling a lot during the sermon. Opps, you mean, church *isn’t* just to chill with your friends? Coulda fooled me.
First off, if you’re *really* attentive, you’ll notice not only did I finally write myself a lj bio, I also changed the title of my journal. Which to most may not seem like an awfully huge deal, but, it was sort of to me. I don’t know, I feel like it better reflects the purpose of my journal now, before it sounded too pretentious/ Lifetime original movie. …which made more sense in my head then it does typed out, but, whatever. I’m still wrestling over whether to change my “name” from “Raging Heifer” to just plain “Kissingyrls.” On the one hand, “Raging Heifer” is somewhat misleading as in it leads someone to believe I’m a full blown dyke. Yet, I kinda like being referred to as a heifer for some inexplicable reason. Anyway, all of this is really not important. Lets get to the important parts: my revelation.
Revelation 1- There is an “alternative movie channel” on Direct TV. Who knew? The things one learns while watching commercials. I hafta say I’m sort of excited by this all gay movies all the time concept. Then I wonder- *are* there enough gay movies to achieve the somewhat daunting task of 24/7? Then again, they don’t necessarily have to be good gay movies, just gay movies. Then I wonder- will they resort to porn? Cuz I can assure you, there is plenty of gay girl and guy porn out there to fill up this time frame. I guess only time will tell. I shall be watching this so-called channel 107 and update on the situation… if I really feel like it.
Revelation 2- I will never get a job. I checked back at Barnes and Nobles and Jamba Juice where I applied a few weeks ago. Turns out B&N is interviewing next week- so I may get called which would be cool. It’s for a job in the café which would be extra exciting cuz at this B&N the gay and lesbian section is within watching distance. So, theoretically, I could do my job, serving muffins or whatever while seeing which girls are going to that section, learn how to better hone my female gaydar to better serve me in picking up people in the future. Except, the problem is, I talked to a guy there today and they had some problems with my hours. I said I could work on week days from 4 to 10 PM. He said he wanted me to work till closing- meaning 11:45. I’m like “whoa, buddy, I’ve got school.” And he’s like “Ok, well, we’ll call you.” At which point I promptly took a gun, loaded it, aimed at my foot, and shot a few times. Jamba Juice is still Not Hiring.
Revelation 3- I am a Hypocrite on top of being a Sick Fuck. See, I’m constantly condemning my guy gay friends for dating excessively older men (you know who you are) and I find myself wishing I could as well. Only, a woman. And older. Much, much older. Ok, I’ll come clean and admit- I’ve had something of a crush on this lesbian woman I know, I’ve had it for some time. I thought I’d gotten over it, but I saw her again today and, let me tell you, its still there. It’s not like she knows, though. Oh, no, I’ve hidden it very fucking well, if I do say so myself. Now the sick part: she’s in her forties. And that’s all I’m going to say about that because already I can see people teasing me about it and now I’m starting to think I should delete this now so there’s no evidence about this anywhere only I do want to keep it up here as a sort of catharsis and its just a crush not like anything o goddammit don’t look at me like that, I know I have problems. Ok, onto the final revelation which I think, I hope, is far more shocking that it will literally burn this revelation out of your memories.
Revelation 4- Nick Hyman is Human. And furthermore, I seem to have lost my apathy towards him. It started like this : I found his lj, and, like the mosquito that knows not to follow the shiny light because it doles out almost certain death yet, strangely, morbidly, cannot help but see how close to the light it can get before it gets burned. Only, this case wasn’t so much a light, per se, as it was because of the excessive use of pink in the design of the journal. Yes, dammit, the pink lured me in. And so I began to skim. And from said skimming came actually reading. And I came to the conclusion that Nick Hyman is Not So Bad.
I think I’ve done enough damage to my reputation for one evening. And with this, I bid you adieu.
First off, if you’re *really* attentive, you’ll notice not only did I finally write myself a lj bio, I also changed the title of my journal. Which to most may not seem like an awfully huge deal, but, it was sort of to me. I don’t know, I feel like it better reflects the purpose of my journal now, before it sounded too pretentious/ Lifetime original movie. …which made more sense in my head then it does typed out, but, whatever. I’m still wrestling over whether to change my “name” from “Raging Heifer” to just plain “Kissingyrls.” On the one hand, “Raging Heifer” is somewhat misleading as in it leads someone to believe I’m a full blown dyke. Yet, I kinda like being referred to as a heifer for some inexplicable reason. Anyway, all of this is really not important. Lets get to the important parts: my revelation.
Revelation 1- There is an “alternative movie channel” on Direct TV. Who knew? The things one learns while watching commercials. I hafta say I’m sort of excited by this all gay movies all the time concept. Then I wonder- *are* there enough gay movies to achieve the somewhat daunting task of 24/7? Then again, they don’t necessarily have to be good gay movies, just gay movies. Then I wonder- will they resort to porn? Cuz I can assure you, there is plenty of gay girl and guy porn out there to fill up this time frame. I guess only time will tell. I shall be watching this so-called channel 107 and update on the situation… if I really feel like it.
Revelation 2- I will never get a job. I checked back at Barnes and Nobles and Jamba Juice where I applied a few weeks ago. Turns out B&N is interviewing next week- so I may get called which would be cool. It’s for a job in the café which would be extra exciting cuz at this B&N the gay and lesbian section is within watching distance. So, theoretically, I could do my job, serving muffins or whatever while seeing which girls are going to that section, learn how to better hone my female gaydar to better serve me in picking up people in the future. Except, the problem is, I talked to a guy there today and they had some problems with my hours. I said I could work on week days from 4 to 10 PM. He said he wanted me to work till closing- meaning 11:45. I’m like “whoa, buddy, I’ve got school.” And he’s like “Ok, well, we’ll call you.” At which point I promptly took a gun, loaded it, aimed at my foot, and shot a few times. Jamba Juice is still Not Hiring.
Revelation 3- I am a Hypocrite on top of being a Sick Fuck. See, I’m constantly condemning my guy gay friends for dating excessively older men (you know who you are) and I find myself wishing I could as well. Only, a woman. And older. Much, much older. Ok, I’ll come clean and admit- I’ve had something of a crush on this lesbian woman I know, I’ve had it for some time. I thought I’d gotten over it, but I saw her again today and, let me tell you, its still there. It’s not like she knows, though. Oh, no, I’ve hidden it very fucking well, if I do say so myself. Now the sick part: she’s in her forties. And that’s all I’m going to say about that because already I can see people teasing me about it and now I’m starting to think I should delete this now so there’s no evidence about this anywhere only I do want to keep it up here as a sort of catharsis and its just a crush not like anything o goddammit don’t look at me like that, I know I have problems. Ok, onto the final revelation which I think, I hope, is far more shocking that it will literally burn this revelation out of your memories.
Revelation 4- Nick Hyman is Human. And furthermore, I seem to have lost my apathy towards him. It started like this : I found his lj, and, like the mosquito that knows not to follow the shiny light because it doles out almost certain death yet, strangely, morbidly, cannot help but see how close to the light it can get before it gets burned. Only, this case wasn’t so much a light, per se, as it was because of the excessive use of pink in the design of the journal. Yes, dammit, the pink lured me in. And so I began to skim. And from said skimming came actually reading. And I came to the conclusion that Nick Hyman is Not So Bad.
I think I’ve done enough damage to my reputation for one evening. And with this, I bid you adieu.