AHHHH frustrated!
Okay so I have realized that watching wedding shows and seeing all these weddings on tv and people talking them makes me sad. I had an amazing wedding but it wasn’t my dream there was certain people I wanted there. I wanted a reception I want to feel like people actually see us as married with gifts and cards and I don’t know. At one side I don’t want to have another wedding, we are married I am happy we are married.
I think I’m just a bit lonely and I’ve lost so much focus in life. Tron goes off every week to work in Austin and I work here. I don’t really have any friends. I feel stupid and socially retarded. I don’t know how to make friends anymore and being married and young a lot of people don’t talk to me. I feel old! I feel like I should I DON’T KNOW!!!! I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING!!!!!! I feel horrible because I take it out on Tron I start calculating money and trying to control everything in my life and it drives him nuts.
I am very happy however that Tron and I will be getting our town house this week. We were supposed to be getting a different one but the people there seemed like they really didn’t want us to move in. then we found a cheaper and bigger townhouse closer to his work, I need to be in my own space to paint to relax and not feel like I have to be on guard. I can walk around my house not have to lock my bedroom door so things are messed with or stolen. I will feel comfortable in my own home!
Am also excited that my favorite holiday is coming up! Halloween! I plan on going all out and most likely having a house warming party all Halloween creepy decor. I’m excited about that.
My job is pretty good. I’m working at a daycare center for 7.25 an hour. Its nice since I get to work with kids. Though it is really exhausting specially when they put me 11 two year olds when I don’t know their names and I’ve only been on the job a day. I love working with the babies when I get to. However I am going to need to get a better paying job soon!
I think I’m just a bit lonely and I’ve lost so much focus in life. Tron goes off every week to work in Austin and I work here. I don’t really have any friends. I feel stupid and socially retarded. I don’t know how to make friends anymore and being married and young a lot of people don’t talk to me. I feel old! I feel like I should I DON’T KNOW!!!! I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING!!!!!! I feel horrible because I take it out on Tron I start calculating money and trying to control everything in my life and it drives him nuts.
I am very happy however that Tron and I will be getting our town house this week. We were supposed to be getting a different one but the people there seemed like they really didn’t want us to move in. then we found a cheaper and bigger townhouse closer to his work, I need to be in my own space to paint to relax and not feel like I have to be on guard. I can walk around my house not have to lock my bedroom door so things are messed with or stolen. I will feel comfortable in my own home!
Am also excited that my favorite holiday is coming up! Halloween! I plan on going all out and most likely having a house warming party all Halloween creepy decor. I’m excited about that.
My job is pretty good. I’m working at a daycare center for 7.25 an hour. Its nice since I get to work with kids. Though it is really exhausting specially when they put me 11 two year olds when I don’t know their names and I’ve only been on the job a day. I love working with the babies when I get to. However I am going to need to get a better paying job soon!