24
So I'm going to be 24 in a weeks time...
I've had this livejournal for four years now (I'll have to check on that but I'm pretty sure thats how long its been)...and before that I was on livejournal for about 3 years. It's weird to think that much time has passed since I was just starting out as a senior in highschool. In some ways, those days feel like another life time, a distant memory...and in others, I feel like it was yesterday. More often than not it feels like it's been forever since I walked the halls of BLA, rode the southie bus home with matt by my side....It feels just as long ago that I sat in classes at Suffolk or had my radio show.
I've been working at the same place for almost three years now, and in the same (official) relationship for 2 weeks prior to that (anybody that knows matt and I intimately is aware of the fact that we were semi-secretly seeing each other exclusively from march of 2006 until we became an official couple). You would think that would make me feel a certain sense of stability, and in a way I do....I mean I'm not out there searching for a job or a better love life, like a lot of people I know... but I still have a lot of questions racing through my head all the time about what I want to do with my life you know? Being with matt is a definite...but everything else is so blurry.
So I'm 24 and I'm dealing with a quarter life crisis that's been going on since I got my first degree. If this lasts much longer, I worry that it will bleed over into my mid life crisis and that just simply won't do.
I know I want to be a wife and mother. I know I want to be happy at what I do more than I want to be wealthy from it (though wealth and success will be a bonus)...but what that is remains a mystery to me. The idea of opening my own business (which I've already done in a very small way) appeals to me, but that's not the only thing that does. I went back to school to get an Asian studies degree and to learn Chinese so that I can be a translator, but as of yet I don't know how that will work out. My life long dream is to write, but for now, the well is dry and I lack the confidence to dig deeper. Another part of me wants to go to law school, and be a champion for the downtrodden...but who knows what I'll end up doing out of all of those things, if any of them...
Despite this crisis, I must say I do like my life today. Matt is a wonderful boyfriend, as I always knew he would be. We have a wide array of interests and hobbies, like jewelry making, beer brewing, screenprinting, cooking, bowling, etc etc...and we have a lot of fun with them. We have a huge network of friends...bigger than I'd ever dream I'd have really. It's pretty nice.
I have a new niece by the name of Caroline. That brings the tally up to 16. My family is doing well, though there are some bumps in the road that are to be expected when you've got an immediate family that contains 34 members. I love them all very much still and I still count myself lucky to have the basis I do from them.
I've started hanging out with my cousin Shawna more, and I wish I had started doing so ten years ago. She's the best, and it's great to have her around. She's closer with some of our friends than we are these days, and its pretty cool that she's become intergrated in our friends group like that.
All in all, I guess I'm in a good place today, and hopefully will be next week when I actually turn 24....I don't have it all figured out yet, but I'm getting there, and I'm mindful of where I'm going so hopefully that counts for something. Only time will tell, and even though I rarely use this journal anymore at all, I think its worth keeping to look back and how far off the mark I might be when all is said and done.
I've had this livejournal for four years now (I'll have to check on that but I'm pretty sure thats how long its been)...and before that I was on livejournal for about 3 years. It's weird to think that much time has passed since I was just starting out as a senior in highschool. In some ways, those days feel like another life time, a distant memory...and in others, I feel like it was yesterday. More often than not it feels like it's been forever since I walked the halls of BLA, rode the southie bus home with matt by my side....It feels just as long ago that I sat in classes at Suffolk or had my radio show.
I've been working at the same place for almost three years now, and in the same (official) relationship for 2 weeks prior to that (anybody that knows matt and I intimately is aware of the fact that we were semi-secretly seeing each other exclusively from march of 2006 until we became an official couple). You would think that would make me feel a certain sense of stability, and in a way I do....I mean I'm not out there searching for a job or a better love life, like a lot of people I know... but I still have a lot of questions racing through my head all the time about what I want to do with my life you know? Being with matt is a definite...but everything else is so blurry.
So I'm 24 and I'm dealing with a quarter life crisis that's been going on since I got my first degree. If this lasts much longer, I worry that it will bleed over into my mid life crisis and that just simply won't do.
I know I want to be a wife and mother. I know I want to be happy at what I do more than I want to be wealthy from it (though wealth and success will be a bonus)...but what that is remains a mystery to me. The idea of opening my own business (which I've already done in a very small way) appeals to me, but that's not the only thing that does. I went back to school to get an Asian studies degree and to learn Chinese so that I can be a translator, but as of yet I don't know how that will work out. My life long dream is to write, but for now, the well is dry and I lack the confidence to dig deeper. Another part of me wants to go to law school, and be a champion for the downtrodden...but who knows what I'll end up doing out of all of those things, if any of them...
Despite this crisis, I must say I do like my life today. Matt is a wonderful boyfriend, as I always knew he would be. We have a wide array of interests and hobbies, like jewelry making, beer brewing, screenprinting, cooking, bowling, etc etc...and we have a lot of fun with them. We have a huge network of friends...bigger than I'd ever dream I'd have really. It's pretty nice.
I have a new niece by the name of Caroline. That brings the tally up to 16. My family is doing well, though there are some bumps in the road that are to be expected when you've got an immediate family that contains 34 members. I love them all very much still and I still count myself lucky to have the basis I do from them.
I've started hanging out with my cousin Shawna more, and I wish I had started doing so ten years ago. She's the best, and it's great to have her around. She's closer with some of our friends than we are these days, and its pretty cool that she's become intergrated in our friends group like that.
All in all, I guess I'm in a good place today, and hopefully will be next week when I actually turn 24....I don't have it all figured out yet, but I'm getting there, and I'm mindful of where I'm going so hopefully that counts for something. Only time will tell, and even though I rarely use this journal anymore at all, I think its worth keeping to look back and how far off the mark I might be when all is said and done.