texas today, new york tomorrow
The end of the road comes sooner than later.
Today I lounged around the house with Tim, Mom, and Billy.
I slept off and on, didn't have else much to do.
In the evening Tim and I went to Agora.
We talked for a few hours and then Sarah and her beau met us.
We talked about past times, and laughed.
I told her that I was feeling really sad before I left and that I just needed to be around friends...the good ones. She said "the ones that really love you" and I thought...'exactly'
I have invited Tim to live in New York with me.
I told him that he could stay with me for a month, and if my roommate moves out then he can take her place and pay a portion of the rent.
I'm very excited. Tim is one of the closest friends that I've ever made. We each help each other out..mentally, spiritually ect.
We're both on a different wave length than most people. We think differntly, feel things differently.
I've done my best to help him throughout the years. By doing so I learn about myself, and grow from things that I share with him.
I'm over Ryan.
I know in my heart that I won't ever be with her, and that it isn't worth it.
She's a wonderful person, and I truely love her...but we don't fit well together.
It's not what I need, it's not what I want.
We bring each other more grief than happiness and Life shouldn't be like that.
If one day our pathes meet again, I'll welcome it with open arms...as long as happiness and joy is what it's about.
My Mom made ammends to me tonight.
She said she was sorry for the things that she dragged me though, the life that I had to live.
It came a suprise.
I never heard her say directly that she was sorry for the things that she's done.
It felt good.
I respect my mother ten million times more than I could ever imagine.
I remember once upon a time hating her for what she did, who she was, the type of life that she lead...and drug me through as well. But through out the time we've shared together...I think of my mom now as a powerful, intelligent, peaceful, and loving woman. I don't even see her as the drug addicted, psychotic failure as I use to. I have memories, but it almost seems as if it wasn't even her...it was almost a dream, with someone else playing the role.
I sent her the letter I wrote about the Junkies on the subway, and I think that it made her realize that I still harbor anger and sadness due to her drug addiction. I told her that I respect her, love her, and could never imagine not living the life I've lived without her...in a graditude sense of speaking.
Tomorrow I go back to New York.
Back to Brooklyn.
Back to Work.
Tomorrow I live a different life.
Tomorrow I don't have my bestfriends cooking me breakfast, taking me for coffee, getting stoned and watching movies with me, lying in bed with me, talking about love, life, and happiness with me. But I get to take those memories home with me. I have those people in my life, in my mind always.
I'm ever so thankful for these people. I truely love all of my friends, they're wonderful people..and I couldn't imagine not having them in my heart with me day to day. Being with my Mom and my best friends is heaven...I couldn't ask for much more. They bring me happiness and joy.
Until tomorrow...
Today I lounged around the house with Tim, Mom, and Billy.
I slept off and on, didn't have else much to do.
In the evening Tim and I went to Agora.
We talked for a few hours and then Sarah and her beau met us.
We talked about past times, and laughed.
I told her that I was feeling really sad before I left and that I just needed to be around friends...the good ones. She said "the ones that really love you" and I thought...'exactly'
I have invited Tim to live in New York with me.
I told him that he could stay with me for a month, and if my roommate moves out then he can take her place and pay a portion of the rent.
I'm very excited. Tim is one of the closest friends that I've ever made. We each help each other out..mentally, spiritually ect.
We're both on a different wave length than most people. We think differntly, feel things differently.
I've done my best to help him throughout the years. By doing so I learn about myself, and grow from things that I share with him.
I'm over Ryan.
I know in my heart that I won't ever be with her, and that it isn't worth it.
She's a wonderful person, and I truely love her...but we don't fit well together.
It's not what I need, it's not what I want.
We bring each other more grief than happiness and Life shouldn't be like that.
If one day our pathes meet again, I'll welcome it with open arms...as long as happiness and joy is what it's about.
My Mom made ammends to me tonight.
She said she was sorry for the things that she dragged me though, the life that I had to live.
It came a suprise.
I never heard her say directly that she was sorry for the things that she's done.
It felt good.
I respect my mother ten million times more than I could ever imagine.
I remember once upon a time hating her for what she did, who she was, the type of life that she lead...and drug me through as well. But through out the time we've shared together...I think of my mom now as a powerful, intelligent, peaceful, and loving woman. I don't even see her as the drug addicted, psychotic failure as I use to. I have memories, but it almost seems as if it wasn't even her...it was almost a dream, with someone else playing the role.
I sent her the letter I wrote about the Junkies on the subway, and I think that it made her realize that I still harbor anger and sadness due to her drug addiction. I told her that I respect her, love her, and could never imagine not living the life I've lived without her...in a graditude sense of speaking.
Tomorrow I go back to New York.
Back to Brooklyn.
Back to Work.
Tomorrow I live a different life.
Tomorrow I don't have my bestfriends cooking me breakfast, taking me for coffee, getting stoned and watching movies with me, lying in bed with me, talking about love, life, and happiness with me. But I get to take those memories home with me. I have those people in my life, in my mind always.
I'm ever so thankful for these people. I truely love all of my friends, they're wonderful people..and I couldn't imagine not having them in my heart with me day to day. Being with my Mom and my best friends is heaven...I couldn't ask for much more. They bring me happiness and joy.
Until tomorrow...