:/
Something is wrong with me and I don't know what. A lot of people have noticed that I havn't been myself lately, and well, it's true. I try so hard to put on a front so that people don't like me less, but all I really wanna do is sit in a corner myself. The worst thing about this is that I don't know what is wrong. It's not Reza, it's not my grades, it's not a bad haircut, it's not losing $200 (which I found by the way), those are all just excuses for me acting like this. Maybe it's just that I'm afraid of change of any kind, or maybe I'm insecure, I really can't tell you. All I know is that I havn't been the care-free girl who always has fun and likes to just go with the flow of things...I have been worrying, complaining, whining, and been putting on a fake front lately and I hate being like this. I hate being this person cuz it's not me. And forcing myself to try to go back to normal seems to make it worse cuz it's not natural and I'm just so afraid that the people I love will stop loving me cuz I am not that person. I just want it to go back to normal...but what exactly is normal?
EDIT: I AM SO FUCKING PISSED OFF. I HATE MY PARENTS FOR GOING AWAY THIS WEEKEND AND LEAVING ME WITH MY AUNT WHO TREATS ME LIKE I'M 6 FUCKING YEARS OLD AND WON'T LET ME GO ANYWHERE OR DO ANYTHING WHEN IT ISN'T EVEN HER DECISION. I'M AN ADULT IN 10 DAMN MONTHS I SHOULD BE ABLE TO HANG OUT WITH WHOEVER I WANT AND DO WHAT I WANT AS LONG AS I'M REASONABLE ABOUT IT WHICH I AM. I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL I'M 18 NOBODY IS EVER FUCKIN BABYSITTING ME AGAIN IN MY LIFE.
EDIT: I AM SO FUCKING PISSED OFF. I HATE MY PARENTS FOR GOING AWAY THIS WEEKEND AND LEAVING ME WITH MY AUNT WHO TREATS ME LIKE I'M 6 FUCKING YEARS OLD AND WON'T LET ME GO ANYWHERE OR DO ANYTHING WHEN IT ISN'T EVEN HER DECISION. I'M AN ADULT IN 10 DAMN MONTHS I SHOULD BE ABLE TO HANG OUT WITH WHOEVER I WANT AND DO WHAT I WANT AS LONG AS I'M REASONABLE ABOUT IT WHICH I AM. I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL I'M 18 NOBODY IS EVER FUCKIN BABYSITTING ME AGAIN IN MY LIFE.