Pregnancy Envy [Original Prompt]
Title: Pregnancy Envy
Rating: PG-13
Length: 5,210 words
Warnings: mpreg
Summary: Yifan knows he's being ridiculous, but he can't stop himself from being jealous.
Notes: I've been wanting to write this for like forever, and this fic fest gave me the incentive to finally get up and finish this this WIP. Thanks L for giving this a last minute read. It's a silly idea, and I'm convinced it turned out not even half as fluffy and cute as I intended, but I hope you'll all still like it.
It all started when Yifan walked in on Yixing sitting on their bed one afternoon after having finished work early to surprise his husband. The younger hadn’t been expecting Yifan back yet, evident in the way he wasn’t waiting in the living room for the sound of the door opening so that he could immediately rush to greet his husband back home. Yifan often teased the smaller man about that habit, telling him that he was acting like a dog that was eager for its owner’s return. Yixing would just pout at him in reaction, huffing out a protesting breath-which was the main reason why Yifan mentioned the comparison in the first place, because Yixing looked so adorable like that. The younger’s job as a freelance composer allowed him to work from home most of the time, and he would always argue that it could get lonely in the apartment all by himself all day. What he didn’t say was that he missed Yifan in the round about ten hours that he was gone from home on a normal work day, but Yifan could read exactly that from the younger’s eagerness to greet him back home.
That day, however, he had taken extra care to be silent when entering, to not let the sound of the key clinking in the lock travel through the whole flat. Yixing had been extra moody as of lately, changing from overly excited to anxious to clingy to solitary to upset and everything in between at what seemed like minute intervals. With him being in the 34th week of his pregnancy, the baby bump was more than just noticeable, and with the due date pulling ever closer the mood swings from Yixing's first trimester seemed to make a reappearance. Just that now his worries were fueled by the reality of the situation and not by Yifan having bought the low fat instead of the whole milk.
It wasn't as if Yifan was unaffected by the impending birth of their son; he felt as if he was panicking just as hard, if not harder about becoming a father in only barely more than a month. However, he didn't have to suffer from the hormonal mess Yixing was going through on top of that, and he tried his best to keep his little panic attacks away from his husband as well as he could. His main role was to make sure that Yixing was kept as content and happy as possible, and he knew that his presence brought the smaller male ease and comfort, even if Yixing might not act like it all the time. With that in mind, Yifan had used some of the overtime he had collected a few months ago in preparation for the later stages of Yixing’s pregnancy, and snuck out of the office two hours earlier than usual.
Originally, Yifan had planned to burst into whatever room Yixing would be working in-the younger loved to move from the living room to the kitchen to the office to their bedroom and back while working because the change in environment helped him with thinking, he claimed. But as soon as Yifan reached the slightly ajar bedroom door, the sound of Yixing's voice made him stop in his track. It wasn't unusual for Yixing to be on the phone with his parents around this time, his calls to his mother in order to seek advice frequent and happening at any time of the day. Yifan debated whether to just retreat to prepare some sort of early dinner in the kitchen instead of immediately surprising the younger, in order to not interrupt Yixing's conversation, but he was held back by Yixing's words that filtered through the door crack.
"My my, what's upset you now? You’ve been so active all day."
With his nose scrunched up, Yifan turned back to the door, finally taking the step forward so that he was actually able to steal a glance of the scene unfolding in their bedroom. He saw Yixing, sitting on the bed, his back braced against the headrest and cushioned with all the pillows he had dragged Yifan out to purchase twenty minutes before the furniture store closed barely three weeks ago. The younger didn't notice his husband’s presence, his gaze fixed securely on where his hands were placed onto his protruding belly.
"It's nice that you have so much energy. You know, you're tiring daddy out quite a lot. But it's fine, I wouldn't expect anything else from your father's child," Yixing told his womb, a fond smile on his face that made Yifan's heart skip a beat. Pregnancy suited Yixing so well that Yifan thought it was almost unfair.
"I hope you'll take after your father. He's a dork, but a handsome one at that. If you get his looks, we'll have to ward of admirers all the time, but I bet your father will be able to manage that just fine with those eyebrows of his." There was a low chuckle as Yixing laughed at his own joke, and Yifan only barely managed to contain the huff that threatened to escape him by instinct.
The chuckling was quickly followed by a deep exhale that almost sounded like a sigh. "I guess we'll find out soon enough. Not even six more weeks, that's what the doctor said. Then we'll be able to see you for the first time." The little laugh Yixing let out, combined with his hand rubbing soothing circles at the left side of his belly, told Yifan that the baby had most likely kicked his husband again. "Yes, we're excited to meet you as well. I really hope you'll like the nursery we've made for you. It has been a hard battle to decide what sort of colour theme to go with, and which toys to buy. You know, your father has a bit of an... let's call it interesting taste. But I guess being your father's child you might actually end up having a similar taste...," the younger's words trailed off as if in thought before he quirked up again. "Actually, can you have your father's looks but take more after me in terms of taste? It might make shopping clothes with you easier than it is with your father. Oh, speaking of which, did I already tell you about that baby clothes store Luhan found in town today? He sent me pictures and the place looks adorable, I'll need to get your father to go there with me this weekend."
Completely caught up in talking to their baby, Yixing didn't notice Yifan standing in the doorway at all, instead going on and on about the sort of clothes they still had to buy and how they were going to finally get a crib the next week. The way Yixing talked to their son had Yifan's heart constrict in something he interpreted as fondness at that time. He and Yixing both loved children, but due to the nature of Yixing's unsteady income they had had to wait until Yifan was in a position to earn enough money to keep both of them afloat for a few months if the need arose. So Yifan's last promotion had not only resulted in them celebrating with a two-week trip to Europe, but also with them deciding that it was time to stop using protection. Therefore, witnessing his husband speak so fondly, animatedly and intimately to their child was bound to remind him of the anticipation they were both feeling and the happiness of when they found out that they were expecting.
He listened on for about five more minutes, rooted in place by the sound of Yixing's gentle voice and the exhilarating tightness in his chest. Only when Yixing's conversation with the baby seemed to have reached a lull did he finally take a step into the room, revealing his presence to his unsuspecting husband.
"Seems like our weekend is already fully planned," he joked with a lopsided grin as Yixing's head shot up to look at the doorway, his eyes growing big as he saw Yifan standing there.
"Yifan! Why are you back already? How long have you been standing there?" The younger asked, his voice tinted with surprise and disbelieving joy as he scrambled to get up from the bed. Yifan took two quick strides across the room, hurrying to join the smaller male at the bedside so that Yixing wouldn't have to stand up to receive his welcome home kiss. The younger eagerly leaned into the press of Yifan's lips, turning a quick peck into a real kiss before he seemed to remember his unanswered question. "I thought you had to work until seven today, like normal," he said when they pulled apart, his hands keeping their hold of Yifan's shirt and Yifan's hands resting against the younger's cheeks, his thumbs stroking the soft skin there.
"You've been complaining about me being gone all the time, so I wanted to surprise you with a long weekend. I've taken Monday off as well, so we can split all these plans of yours up over three days," Yifan told him with a small grin. He could witness on the younger's face how various emotions chased each other, from lingering surprise to joy to guilt.
"You know I've been complaining about a lot of things without meaning them as of lately," Yixing eventually said contritely, "It's not as if I'm not happy that you're here already and that you'll be free on Monday as well," he quickly added, "But you don't have to take days off on my behalf if it means more work for you."
"I know," Yifan simply replied, moving his hand up so that he could card it through Yixing's hair, stopping at his neck again. He was pleased to notice the little shiver going through Yixing's body in reaction, the younger's pupils widening slightly. "Perhaps I am just selfish and would rather spend time with my husband than with my office mates."
And Yixing seemed to contemplate the idea for a moment before he decided that it wasn't worth it to keep on arguing. Instead he used his hold on Yifan's shirt to draw the elder closer again, his need to talk obviously replaced by his need to have Yifan's lips on his. Yifan gladly followed the younger's lead, reasoning that his plans to take Yixing out for dinner surely could be postponed a bit.
~-~
After that day, he consciously starts noticing all the times that Yixing would talk to their child. Apparently it is normal for the younger, almost second nature to strike up a supposed conversation that, in reality, is a soliloquy whenever a particularly interesting thought strikes the younger’s mind. Yifan witnessed his husband tell their child about what a relaxing task it could be to fold clothes while he was doing laundry, or how it is important to eat a lot of vegetables to stay healthy when Yixing was preparing dinner. He also told the child about clients who don't know how to properly specify what they want from him, and about how he hates waking up after 9am because it makes him feel like he has wasted the entire day with sleeping. In short, Yixing talks with the baby about everything and anything, and the sight of it always makes Yifan stop in the doorway for a few moments to watch the scene before he would continue with whatever he is doing at that time.
It takes Yifan roughly a week to finally realize what the weak churning in his stomach is, and that the constricting feeling in his chest isn't only happiness. Beneath the fondness he feels at seeing Yixing talk to their child there is an edge.
It is on a lazy Saturday that Yifan eventually decides to speak up, no matter how irrational his feelings might be. He and Yixing have a full disclosure policy, especially in regards to anything that's concerning the pregnancy because they both agree that bottling up their thoughts and feelings will only raise the possibility of misunderstandings.
Yifan and Yixing are lounging in bed, Yixing reading a book while Yifan is just dozing a little. It's already afternoon, but they have spent the whole morning bustling about and running necessary errands, so Yifan is more than happy to comply with Yixing’s desire to rest a little. To be exact, Yifan is the one who has been in the state of slipping in and out of consciousness until a few moments ago, while Yixing is reading one of his favourite books for the nth time. With Yixing sitting upright and Yifan lying down, he's right at eye-level with the younger's baby bump. Yixing hums contently when Yifan's hand comes up to rest on the protruding belly, stroking the stretched skin gently, but aside from that the brunet doesn't react to Yifan's waking.
A few minutes pass like that, with Yifan immersed in his thoughts and Yixing immersed in fictional worlds. Then Yifan feels a slight kick against his hand, and a grin sneaks onto Yixing's face as he lowers the book to look down to where his husband is petting his tummy.
"Seems like you've woken him up," Yixing notes, sounding as if he wants to be accusing but instead ends up being amused. When Yifan doesn't react, his forehead slightly furrowed in thought with his eyes trained on Yixing's stomach, the younger reaches out to caress Yifan's soft hair. "What's on your mind?"
For a moment Yifan considers staying silent, but this is the perfect opportunity. Plus, his sleep-huddled mind makes him feel a little bolder.
"I've been thinking about this for a bit, actually," he starts, then stops and sits up, his legs pulled beneath his body so that he can face Yixing properly. The younger's cocked head is a silent urge to continue. "I've seen you talk to the baby a lot, and yeah, I think it's unfair. Because you get to talk to him all the time, and I barely ever get the chance." He's sure there are a lot of very good arguments to support his opinion, he has thought of so many reasons to make him sound not completely irrational at being jealous-not of their baby for having all of Yixing's attention but of Yixing for getting to spend 24/7 with their offspring. Of course it is irrational, highly so, since the baby is growing inside of Yixing, which means that of course they'll be together all the time, but Yifan just can't help himself.
Yixing looks at him in confusion, as if he doesn't quite understand what Yifan is trying to tell him. If Yifan is being honest, he himself doesn't know what exactly he's trying to achieve either, but he attempts to elaborate nonetheless. "I mean, you spend so much time with him, he knows you so much better than me. What if he'll end up not liking my voice? Or not liking me, because he doesn't know me?"
They might have a full disclosure policy, but that doesn't mean that Yixing just takes everything that Yifan says in stride. He's always been frank in telling Yifan when he's being unreasonable or weird, and Yifan can always rely on Yixing to stop him from doing anything stupid.
“Yifan, you’re being ridiculous,” Yixing declares in a deadpan voice, looking down at him from where he’s leaning against the headboard of their bed. There's no judgement, his statement just meant to point out the fact that there is no way for Yifan to spend nearly as much time with their unborn child as Yixing does.
“I know,” Yifan admits with a whine because he’s very well aware that he is being ridiculous. “But I still think it’s not fair.” He pulls his face into a pout and flops down on the bed to further express just how upset he is-he has a history of being particularly childish and overly dramatic right after waking up. It doesn’t really work in getting Yixing to take him any more serious however.
Instead of empathizing with Yifan’s situation, Yixing starts laughing. The elder can’t even really mind however because his heart beats faster in elation at the sound. It’s a soft laughter, a carefree one that falls from Yixing’s mouth and bounces off the walls. Yifan always believes that this sort of laughter is reserved for him, and him only. It’s not that he’s the only one to make Yixing laugh; the younger is an overall happy person who loves to laughs a lot. But he’s often bound to either boisterous guffaws that leave him gasping for air or soft chuckles.
But the laugh Yixing lets out when he reaches to run his fingers through Yifan’s hair in a soothing gesture again is caught somewhere between a chuckle and a proper laugh, and it’s soft and full of fondness at the same time. For Yifan, it always sounds as if in that moment Yixing isn’t weighed down by anything; the sound is like bliss personified for Yifan and he’s always willing to make a fool of himself if it means getting this reaction from his husband.
“How am I supposed to handle two babies at the same time?” Yixing asks as soon as his laughter has faded, an affectionate smile on his lips and a glow of amusement still remaining in his eyes and in the undercurrent of his voice.
Yifan lets out another whine before slipping his arm over Yixing’s stretched belly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the elder feigns ignorance, just to get another chuckle from Yixing as his nimble fingers resume their task of gracing along Yifan’s scalp. The taller hums softly in approval and leans into the touch. A content silence fills the room, and as he relaxes, Yifan can feel himself calm down.
After a while Yixing’s fingers stop moving, remaining to rest against Yifan’s head as a reassuring, warm weight however. It’s a difficult decision for Yifan to not just let the sleepiness take over again and to close his eyes to the comforting presence of his husband. Instead he inhales deeply-hoping for the oxygen to disperse the temptation of sleep that’s clinging to his head-and shifts until he can sit up.
The younger tilts his head to the side questioningly when Yifan faces him, a small smile still playing on his lips. Yifan doesn’t know if it’s even possible but he can’t help wonder whether the pregnancy has made Yixing even softer, even gentler than before and perhaps a bit more patient when it comes to tolerating Yifan’s antics. At least occasionally, when the pregnancy hormones don't make him even more easily upset.
“I know I’m being ridiculous, but that doesn’t mean I’m not being serious,” Yifan says without any introduction, counting on Yixing to know exactly what he’s talking about even when their previous conversation has already long since faded into silence.
Yixing looks as if he’s torn between reprimanding the taller again and turning compassionate, but in the end the latter wins as he reaches out to splay his hand against Yifan’s cheek. It’s another change that Yifan has noticed, how Yixing seeks a physical connection with him even more now than he did before. Especially when they are in private, Yixing has never been hesitant to touch Yifan, but while he used to do so casually, it was not a constant occurrence. Now he seems to be needy for physical contact as soon as he’s in the same room as Yifan. It’s not as if the elder minds, instead moving to rest against the headboard besides the younger. He doesn’t even need to say anything for Yixing to crawl into his lap, the position way too familiar for both of them to require any requests or permissions.
With his arms around Yixing’s body, Yifan can splay his large hands against Yixing’s inflated belly, and from the side he sees the dimple in the smaller’s cheek deepen. He’s tempted to lean down to peck it, just because he knows that that’s a sure way to get Yixing’s giggling, but there are more important matters to tend to that he can’t allow himself to lose sight of.
“It’s not something I can really help, Fan,” the younger says, barely above a whisper, his hands coming up to cover Yifan's on his stomach. Yifan notices a softness that could be either fondness or sleepiness in Yixing’s voice. Probably it’s a good dose of both.
“I know that, but still.” Yifan hears how whiny he sounds but he can’t really prevent it from happening as he leans forward to rest his chin against Yixing’s shoulder. “It’s just that you get to spend so much more time with him.”
“Well, you have to work, it’s not as if it’s possible for you to spend more time with him,” Yixing reminds the taller, sounding soothing and slightly reprimanding at the same time. “And you already spend like every minute you can with the two of us, so there’s really nothing else I can think of.”
“But it’s not the same, spending time with both of you,” Yifan continues, making Yixing turn his head so that he can squint at his husband.
“What do you mean? You don’t want to spend with me?” the smaller’s voice sounds teasing more than anything, but it still gives Yifan the feeling that he’s treading on thin ice. Usually it’s difficult to upset Yixing because he knows not to take Yifan too seriously, but he’s pregnant and hormonal and one wrong step could result in a quite upset Yixing.
“Of course that’s not it, you know I love spending time with you but it’s not the same. You get to spend one on one time with him, and I don’t. What if he’ll end up liking you more because he knows your voice better?” The moment the words are out of Yifan’s mouth he feels even more ridiculous but he still doesn’t try to take the things he said back.
Yixing doesn't reply at first, instead he just looks at Yifan blankly, as if he's not sure whether Yifan is just joking, or as if he doesn't know how to react in case that he isn't. He decides on Yifan not joking in the end, and shifts a little in the elder's hold so that it's easier for him to reach out for his husband and maintain eye contact. "Yifan, you're being ridiculous," he repeats again, but this time with a soothing voice, "There is no reason for you to worry at all. There is no way our child will not love you, or that he won't love you just as much as he'll love me. Whenever he hears your voice he gets all excited, I've told you about that, haven't I? Also you have no idea how often I tell him about you, so he knows you at least as well as he knows me."
Yixing's words are meant to be a reassurance, and part of Yifan feels placated at being reminded that the baby seems to recognize and like his voice. But instead of backing down, Yifan pouts again. "But that's exactly the point, the two of you might already share secrets while me and him don't. You know everything I tell him, while you might have told him things you haven't told me. I want that as well."
Once again, Yixing waits for the alleged punchline, but Yifan remains steadfast despite the ridiculousness of his request. "I don't know if you noticed Yifan, but I am the pregnant one. There is literally no way for you to spend time with our baby without me also being around."
The statement could have been accusing, but Yixing just sounds like the voice of reason.
"I know," the elder acquiesces with a sigh and slumps forward slightly to rest his head on Yixing's shoulder again. It's still weird how Yixing barely squirms at the position, but the pregnancy has made his sensitivity wander to different places. "I think I'm just being jealous, even if things can't be changed."
Yixing lets out another exasperated laugh at Yifan's confession, turning his head so that he can press a kiss against his husband's hair. "You're jealous that I'm the one who's pregnant?"
The question is answered with a muffled hum and a barely noticeable nod but Yixing still catches the notion.
"Well, you can always be the one to carry our next child," the younger says, entwining his fingers with Yifan's. There's no teasing to his tone; it's a serious suggestion.
Yifan stays silent, then he lifts his head to be able to face Yixing again. Without saying anything he leans forward, kissing the smaller softly. "I’d like that," he eventually answers in a whisper, his lips brushing against Yixing's as they shape around the syllables. The soft chuckle falling from Yixing is immediately swallowed in another kiss.
They share lazy kisses for a while, unhurried and at ease. It's Yixing who eventually breaks away, the sudden motion startling Yifan. "I know!" the younger exclaims, and Yifan is lost as for what exactly has caused the excited sparkle in Yixing's eyes.
Before he can demand an explanation, Yixing has already freed himself from Yifan's hold and is scrambling off the bed. The elder has half a mind to hold his husband back, but he's too caught in confusion to say anything to stop Yixing from digging through their cupboard. It doesn't take more than a few minutes until the brunet turns to face him again. He's holding something in his hand, and Yifan blinks multiple times before he recognizes the expensive headphones he got Yixing for their fifth year anniversary.
Within seconds, the younger is back on the bed, moving to sit right in front of Yifan. He presents the headphones to his husband as if Yifan is supposed to know why exactly they are so important that Yixing had to jump up to get them immediately. "This is the solution," the younger unhelpfully supplies, and Yifan feels particularly slow under Yixing's expectant gaze.
"For your problem," Yixing elaborates when Yifan just furrows his forehead in confusion. "It will be a few more weeks before you can truly have one on one time with the baby, but with these you can share all the secrets you want with him."
And then it clicks with him what Yixing is proposing, and Yifan has never felt more in love because, even when he's being ridiculous and being laughed at by his husband, Yixing still takes always him serious and works on finding a way to make him feel better.
This time it's Yifan's turn to laugh, in a mixture of fondness and a weird sense of relief, and then he leans forward again to show his love with his kisses.
~-~
After that, they both make sure to have "Yifan-baby time" every day. Yixing loves the name because he says it's accurate in many different ways, and when Yifan pokes out his tongue at him that just seems to act as the confirmation of Yixing's statement.
The first Yifan-baby time is weird in Yifan’s books, the elder not knowing what exactly to tell the baby as soon as Yixing has put on his headphones and is listening to his favourite music in order to drown Yifan's voice out. Yifan is certain that the quality of Yixing's headphones is good enough that they block essentially all ambient noises, especially while they are playing music. And it's not as if he distrusts Yixing, but he still starts his conversation by telling the baby about how he shouldn't listen to Yixing if he talks about fashion or art, that Yifan will teach him all he needs to know about these matters. While he speaks, he studies Yixing's expression closely, watching for any indication that the younger hears him-if he did, he surely would make a face and comment on Yifan's claims. But Yixing just smiles down at where Yifan is resting on his lap in order to be closer to his baby bump, and either he's a damn good actor or he truly doesn't hear any of Yifan's words.
The daily routine quickly settles in, to the point where Yifan doesn't want to stop talking to their child. Most often Yixing endures his husband's antics with an impressive serenity, but occasionally he will start shifting in his seat, either in the need to go to the toilet or because hunger is taking over. Whenever he would take off his headphones to communicate his needs to Yifan, the elder would pout up at him, complaining that he didn't get his usual 30 minutes yet. And Yixing, with his endless patience, doesn't flick him on the forehead or gets annoyed at Yifan's childishness, instead he leans down to kiss Yifan's pouty lips-or tries to, the best he can at least with his rounded stomach; usually Yifan has to be the one to close the distance between them-and then reassures his husband that once he has tended to his physical needs, he'll gladly let Yifan continue with telling their child nonsense.
Like this he would always get Yifan to splutter about how Yixing isn't supposed to know what Yifan has been telling the baby, and Yixing, already heading out of the living room, would call back over his shoulder that he doesn't know what Yifan has been telling the baby, he just knows Yifan, and that's enough to make an educated guess on what the elder always speaks about during these sessions.
And Yifan will follow after his husband with the intention to argue, but usually he will just end up in the kitchen, preparing a snack for Yixing while the younger is in the bathroom or waiting on a chair by the counter, ready to receive food scraps and small kisses while Yifan bustles around the medium sized room. It's an easy routine they've settled in, and even though Yifan technically tries to spend one-on-one time with the baby, he knows that the physical proximity with Yixing is just as soothing, if not maybe even more so.
He's still kind of envious of Yixing. They decided for Yixing to be the one to get pregnant, as his job can be adjusted around the pregnancy a lot better than Yifan's, who is still in the middle of climbing up the career ladder. Being able to lie on the couch and whisper secrets to Yixing's womb helps a lot, but the seed has been sown in Yifan's mind; he doesn't know when he and Yixing will get their next child-their first one is bound to turn their lives upside down already after all-but once they do, he'll be the one to carry it.
(Two years later he's complaining about swollen feet and an upset stomach and having an absolutely horrible craving for pickles covered with Nutella and cream cheese at the same time, and Yixing, being the ever caring husband, only laughs at him a little as he goes to find exactly what Yifan asked for.)
Rating: PG-13
Length: 5,210 words
Warnings: mpreg
Summary: Yifan knows he's being ridiculous, but he can't stop himself from being jealous.
Notes: I've been wanting to write this for like forever, and this fic fest gave me the incentive to finally get up and finish this this WIP. Thanks L for giving this a last minute read. It's a silly idea, and I'm convinced it turned out not even half as fluffy and cute as I intended, but I hope you'll all still like it.
It all started when Yifan walked in on Yixing sitting on their bed one afternoon after having finished work early to surprise his husband. The younger hadn’t been expecting Yifan back yet, evident in the way he wasn’t waiting in the living room for the sound of the door opening so that he could immediately rush to greet his husband back home. Yifan often teased the smaller man about that habit, telling him that he was acting like a dog that was eager for its owner’s return. Yixing would just pout at him in reaction, huffing out a protesting breath-which was the main reason why Yifan mentioned the comparison in the first place, because Yixing looked so adorable like that. The younger’s job as a freelance composer allowed him to work from home most of the time, and he would always argue that it could get lonely in the apartment all by himself all day. What he didn’t say was that he missed Yifan in the round about ten hours that he was gone from home on a normal work day, but Yifan could read exactly that from the younger’s eagerness to greet him back home.
That day, however, he had taken extra care to be silent when entering, to not let the sound of the key clinking in the lock travel through the whole flat. Yixing had been extra moody as of lately, changing from overly excited to anxious to clingy to solitary to upset and everything in between at what seemed like minute intervals. With him being in the 34th week of his pregnancy, the baby bump was more than just noticeable, and with the due date pulling ever closer the mood swings from Yixing's first trimester seemed to make a reappearance. Just that now his worries were fueled by the reality of the situation and not by Yifan having bought the low fat instead of the whole milk.
It wasn't as if Yifan was unaffected by the impending birth of their son; he felt as if he was panicking just as hard, if not harder about becoming a father in only barely more than a month. However, he didn't have to suffer from the hormonal mess Yixing was going through on top of that, and he tried his best to keep his little panic attacks away from his husband as well as he could. His main role was to make sure that Yixing was kept as content and happy as possible, and he knew that his presence brought the smaller male ease and comfort, even if Yixing might not act like it all the time. With that in mind, Yifan had used some of the overtime he had collected a few months ago in preparation for the later stages of Yixing’s pregnancy, and snuck out of the office two hours earlier than usual.
Originally, Yifan had planned to burst into whatever room Yixing would be working in-the younger loved to move from the living room to the kitchen to the office to their bedroom and back while working because the change in environment helped him with thinking, he claimed. But as soon as Yifan reached the slightly ajar bedroom door, the sound of Yixing's voice made him stop in his track. It wasn't unusual for Yixing to be on the phone with his parents around this time, his calls to his mother in order to seek advice frequent and happening at any time of the day. Yifan debated whether to just retreat to prepare some sort of early dinner in the kitchen instead of immediately surprising the younger, in order to not interrupt Yixing's conversation, but he was held back by Yixing's words that filtered through the door crack.
"My my, what's upset you now? You’ve been so active all day."
With his nose scrunched up, Yifan turned back to the door, finally taking the step forward so that he was actually able to steal a glance of the scene unfolding in their bedroom. He saw Yixing, sitting on the bed, his back braced against the headrest and cushioned with all the pillows he had dragged Yifan out to purchase twenty minutes before the furniture store closed barely three weeks ago. The younger didn't notice his husband’s presence, his gaze fixed securely on where his hands were placed onto his protruding belly.
"It's nice that you have so much energy. You know, you're tiring daddy out quite a lot. But it's fine, I wouldn't expect anything else from your father's child," Yixing told his womb, a fond smile on his face that made Yifan's heart skip a beat. Pregnancy suited Yixing so well that Yifan thought it was almost unfair.
"I hope you'll take after your father. He's a dork, but a handsome one at that. If you get his looks, we'll have to ward of admirers all the time, but I bet your father will be able to manage that just fine with those eyebrows of his." There was a low chuckle as Yixing laughed at his own joke, and Yifan only barely managed to contain the huff that threatened to escape him by instinct.
The chuckling was quickly followed by a deep exhale that almost sounded like a sigh. "I guess we'll find out soon enough. Not even six more weeks, that's what the doctor said. Then we'll be able to see you for the first time." The little laugh Yixing let out, combined with his hand rubbing soothing circles at the left side of his belly, told Yifan that the baby had most likely kicked his husband again. "Yes, we're excited to meet you as well. I really hope you'll like the nursery we've made for you. It has been a hard battle to decide what sort of colour theme to go with, and which toys to buy. You know, your father has a bit of an... let's call it interesting taste. But I guess being your father's child you might actually end up having a similar taste...," the younger's words trailed off as if in thought before he quirked up again. "Actually, can you have your father's looks but take more after me in terms of taste? It might make shopping clothes with you easier than it is with your father. Oh, speaking of which, did I already tell you about that baby clothes store Luhan found in town today? He sent me pictures and the place looks adorable, I'll need to get your father to go there with me this weekend."
Completely caught up in talking to their baby, Yixing didn't notice Yifan standing in the doorway at all, instead going on and on about the sort of clothes they still had to buy and how they were going to finally get a crib the next week. The way Yixing talked to their son had Yifan's heart constrict in something he interpreted as fondness at that time. He and Yixing both loved children, but due to the nature of Yixing's unsteady income they had had to wait until Yifan was in a position to earn enough money to keep both of them afloat for a few months if the need arose. So Yifan's last promotion had not only resulted in them celebrating with a two-week trip to Europe, but also with them deciding that it was time to stop using protection. Therefore, witnessing his husband speak so fondly, animatedly and intimately to their child was bound to remind him of the anticipation they were both feeling and the happiness of when they found out that they were expecting.
He listened on for about five more minutes, rooted in place by the sound of Yixing's gentle voice and the exhilarating tightness in his chest. Only when Yixing's conversation with the baby seemed to have reached a lull did he finally take a step into the room, revealing his presence to his unsuspecting husband.
"Seems like our weekend is already fully planned," he joked with a lopsided grin as Yixing's head shot up to look at the doorway, his eyes growing big as he saw Yifan standing there.
"Yifan! Why are you back already? How long have you been standing there?" The younger asked, his voice tinted with surprise and disbelieving joy as he scrambled to get up from the bed. Yifan took two quick strides across the room, hurrying to join the smaller male at the bedside so that Yixing wouldn't have to stand up to receive his welcome home kiss. The younger eagerly leaned into the press of Yifan's lips, turning a quick peck into a real kiss before he seemed to remember his unanswered question. "I thought you had to work until seven today, like normal," he said when they pulled apart, his hands keeping their hold of Yifan's shirt and Yifan's hands resting against the younger's cheeks, his thumbs stroking the soft skin there.
"You've been complaining about me being gone all the time, so I wanted to surprise you with a long weekend. I've taken Monday off as well, so we can split all these plans of yours up over three days," Yifan told him with a small grin. He could witness on the younger's face how various emotions chased each other, from lingering surprise to joy to guilt.
"You know I've been complaining about a lot of things without meaning them as of lately," Yixing eventually said contritely, "It's not as if I'm not happy that you're here already and that you'll be free on Monday as well," he quickly added, "But you don't have to take days off on my behalf if it means more work for you."
"I know," Yifan simply replied, moving his hand up so that he could card it through Yixing's hair, stopping at his neck again. He was pleased to notice the little shiver going through Yixing's body in reaction, the younger's pupils widening slightly. "Perhaps I am just selfish and would rather spend time with my husband than with my office mates."
And Yixing seemed to contemplate the idea for a moment before he decided that it wasn't worth it to keep on arguing. Instead he used his hold on Yifan's shirt to draw the elder closer again, his need to talk obviously replaced by his need to have Yifan's lips on his. Yifan gladly followed the younger's lead, reasoning that his plans to take Yixing out for dinner surely could be postponed a bit.
~-~
After that day, he consciously starts noticing all the times that Yixing would talk to their child. Apparently it is normal for the younger, almost second nature to strike up a supposed conversation that, in reality, is a soliloquy whenever a particularly interesting thought strikes the younger’s mind. Yifan witnessed his husband tell their child about what a relaxing task it could be to fold clothes while he was doing laundry, or how it is important to eat a lot of vegetables to stay healthy when Yixing was preparing dinner. He also told the child about clients who don't know how to properly specify what they want from him, and about how he hates waking up after 9am because it makes him feel like he has wasted the entire day with sleeping. In short, Yixing talks with the baby about everything and anything, and the sight of it always makes Yifan stop in the doorway for a few moments to watch the scene before he would continue with whatever he is doing at that time.
It takes Yifan roughly a week to finally realize what the weak churning in his stomach is, and that the constricting feeling in his chest isn't only happiness. Beneath the fondness he feels at seeing Yixing talk to their child there is an edge.
It is on a lazy Saturday that Yifan eventually decides to speak up, no matter how irrational his feelings might be. He and Yixing have a full disclosure policy, especially in regards to anything that's concerning the pregnancy because they both agree that bottling up their thoughts and feelings will only raise the possibility of misunderstandings.
Yifan and Yixing are lounging in bed, Yixing reading a book while Yifan is just dozing a little. It's already afternoon, but they have spent the whole morning bustling about and running necessary errands, so Yifan is more than happy to comply with Yixing’s desire to rest a little. To be exact, Yifan is the one who has been in the state of slipping in and out of consciousness until a few moments ago, while Yixing is reading one of his favourite books for the nth time. With Yixing sitting upright and Yifan lying down, he's right at eye-level with the younger's baby bump. Yixing hums contently when Yifan's hand comes up to rest on the protruding belly, stroking the stretched skin gently, but aside from that the brunet doesn't react to Yifan's waking.
A few minutes pass like that, with Yifan immersed in his thoughts and Yixing immersed in fictional worlds. Then Yifan feels a slight kick against his hand, and a grin sneaks onto Yixing's face as he lowers the book to look down to where his husband is petting his tummy.
"Seems like you've woken him up," Yixing notes, sounding as if he wants to be accusing but instead ends up being amused. When Yifan doesn't react, his forehead slightly furrowed in thought with his eyes trained on Yixing's stomach, the younger reaches out to caress Yifan's soft hair. "What's on your mind?"
For a moment Yifan considers staying silent, but this is the perfect opportunity. Plus, his sleep-huddled mind makes him feel a little bolder.
"I've been thinking about this for a bit, actually," he starts, then stops and sits up, his legs pulled beneath his body so that he can face Yixing properly. The younger's cocked head is a silent urge to continue. "I've seen you talk to the baby a lot, and yeah, I think it's unfair. Because you get to talk to him all the time, and I barely ever get the chance." He's sure there are a lot of very good arguments to support his opinion, he has thought of so many reasons to make him sound not completely irrational at being jealous-not of their baby for having all of Yixing's attention but of Yixing for getting to spend 24/7 with their offspring. Of course it is irrational, highly so, since the baby is growing inside of Yixing, which means that of course they'll be together all the time, but Yifan just can't help himself.
Yixing looks at him in confusion, as if he doesn't quite understand what Yifan is trying to tell him. If Yifan is being honest, he himself doesn't know what exactly he's trying to achieve either, but he attempts to elaborate nonetheless. "I mean, you spend so much time with him, he knows you so much better than me. What if he'll end up not liking my voice? Or not liking me, because he doesn't know me?"
They might have a full disclosure policy, but that doesn't mean that Yixing just takes everything that Yifan says in stride. He's always been frank in telling Yifan when he's being unreasonable or weird, and Yifan can always rely on Yixing to stop him from doing anything stupid.
“Yifan, you’re being ridiculous,” Yixing declares in a deadpan voice, looking down at him from where he’s leaning against the headboard of their bed. There's no judgement, his statement just meant to point out the fact that there is no way for Yifan to spend nearly as much time with their unborn child as Yixing does.
“I know,” Yifan admits with a whine because he’s very well aware that he is being ridiculous. “But I still think it’s not fair.” He pulls his face into a pout and flops down on the bed to further express just how upset he is-he has a history of being particularly childish and overly dramatic right after waking up. It doesn’t really work in getting Yixing to take him any more serious however.
Instead of empathizing with Yifan’s situation, Yixing starts laughing. The elder can’t even really mind however because his heart beats faster in elation at the sound. It’s a soft laughter, a carefree one that falls from Yixing’s mouth and bounces off the walls. Yifan always believes that this sort of laughter is reserved for him, and him only. It’s not that he’s the only one to make Yixing laugh; the younger is an overall happy person who loves to laughs a lot. But he’s often bound to either boisterous guffaws that leave him gasping for air or soft chuckles.
But the laugh Yixing lets out when he reaches to run his fingers through Yifan’s hair in a soothing gesture again is caught somewhere between a chuckle and a proper laugh, and it’s soft and full of fondness at the same time. For Yifan, it always sounds as if in that moment Yixing isn’t weighed down by anything; the sound is like bliss personified for Yifan and he’s always willing to make a fool of himself if it means getting this reaction from his husband.
“How am I supposed to handle two babies at the same time?” Yixing asks as soon as his laughter has faded, an affectionate smile on his lips and a glow of amusement still remaining in his eyes and in the undercurrent of his voice.
Yifan lets out another whine before slipping his arm over Yixing’s stretched belly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the elder feigns ignorance, just to get another chuckle from Yixing as his nimble fingers resume their task of gracing along Yifan’s scalp. The taller hums softly in approval and leans into the touch. A content silence fills the room, and as he relaxes, Yifan can feel himself calm down.
After a while Yixing’s fingers stop moving, remaining to rest against Yifan’s head as a reassuring, warm weight however. It’s a difficult decision for Yifan to not just let the sleepiness take over again and to close his eyes to the comforting presence of his husband. Instead he inhales deeply-hoping for the oxygen to disperse the temptation of sleep that’s clinging to his head-and shifts until he can sit up.
The younger tilts his head to the side questioningly when Yifan faces him, a small smile still playing on his lips. Yifan doesn’t know if it’s even possible but he can’t help wonder whether the pregnancy has made Yixing even softer, even gentler than before and perhaps a bit more patient when it comes to tolerating Yifan’s antics. At least occasionally, when the pregnancy hormones don't make him even more easily upset.
“I know I’m being ridiculous, but that doesn’t mean I’m not being serious,” Yifan says without any introduction, counting on Yixing to know exactly what he’s talking about even when their previous conversation has already long since faded into silence.
Yixing looks as if he’s torn between reprimanding the taller again and turning compassionate, but in the end the latter wins as he reaches out to splay his hand against Yifan’s cheek. It’s another change that Yifan has noticed, how Yixing seeks a physical connection with him even more now than he did before. Especially when they are in private, Yixing has never been hesitant to touch Yifan, but while he used to do so casually, it was not a constant occurrence. Now he seems to be needy for physical contact as soon as he’s in the same room as Yifan. It’s not as if the elder minds, instead moving to rest against the headboard besides the younger. He doesn’t even need to say anything for Yixing to crawl into his lap, the position way too familiar for both of them to require any requests or permissions.
With his arms around Yixing’s body, Yifan can splay his large hands against Yixing’s inflated belly, and from the side he sees the dimple in the smaller’s cheek deepen. He’s tempted to lean down to peck it, just because he knows that that’s a sure way to get Yixing’s giggling, but there are more important matters to tend to that he can’t allow himself to lose sight of.
“It’s not something I can really help, Fan,” the younger says, barely above a whisper, his hands coming up to cover Yifan's on his stomach. Yifan notices a softness that could be either fondness or sleepiness in Yixing’s voice. Probably it’s a good dose of both.
“I know that, but still.” Yifan hears how whiny he sounds but he can’t really prevent it from happening as he leans forward to rest his chin against Yixing’s shoulder. “It’s just that you get to spend so much more time with him.”
“Well, you have to work, it’s not as if it’s possible for you to spend more time with him,” Yixing reminds the taller, sounding soothing and slightly reprimanding at the same time. “And you already spend like every minute you can with the two of us, so there’s really nothing else I can think of.”
“But it’s not the same, spending time with both of you,” Yifan continues, making Yixing turn his head so that he can squint at his husband.
“What do you mean? You don’t want to spend with me?” the smaller’s voice sounds teasing more than anything, but it still gives Yifan the feeling that he’s treading on thin ice. Usually it’s difficult to upset Yixing because he knows not to take Yifan too seriously, but he’s pregnant and hormonal and one wrong step could result in a quite upset Yixing.
“Of course that’s not it, you know I love spending time with you but it’s not the same. You get to spend one on one time with him, and I don’t. What if he’ll end up liking you more because he knows your voice better?” The moment the words are out of Yifan’s mouth he feels even more ridiculous but he still doesn’t try to take the things he said back.
Yixing doesn't reply at first, instead he just looks at Yifan blankly, as if he's not sure whether Yifan is just joking, or as if he doesn't know how to react in case that he isn't. He decides on Yifan not joking in the end, and shifts a little in the elder's hold so that it's easier for him to reach out for his husband and maintain eye contact. "Yifan, you're being ridiculous," he repeats again, but this time with a soothing voice, "There is no reason for you to worry at all. There is no way our child will not love you, or that he won't love you just as much as he'll love me. Whenever he hears your voice he gets all excited, I've told you about that, haven't I? Also you have no idea how often I tell him about you, so he knows you at least as well as he knows me."
Yixing's words are meant to be a reassurance, and part of Yifan feels placated at being reminded that the baby seems to recognize and like his voice. But instead of backing down, Yifan pouts again. "But that's exactly the point, the two of you might already share secrets while me and him don't. You know everything I tell him, while you might have told him things you haven't told me. I want that as well."
Once again, Yixing waits for the alleged punchline, but Yifan remains steadfast despite the ridiculousness of his request. "I don't know if you noticed Yifan, but I am the pregnant one. There is literally no way for you to spend time with our baby without me also being around."
The statement could have been accusing, but Yixing just sounds like the voice of reason.
"I know," the elder acquiesces with a sigh and slumps forward slightly to rest his head on Yixing's shoulder again. It's still weird how Yixing barely squirms at the position, but the pregnancy has made his sensitivity wander to different places. "I think I'm just being jealous, even if things can't be changed."
Yixing lets out another exasperated laugh at Yifan's confession, turning his head so that he can press a kiss against his husband's hair. "You're jealous that I'm the one who's pregnant?"
The question is answered with a muffled hum and a barely noticeable nod but Yixing still catches the notion.
"Well, you can always be the one to carry our next child," the younger says, entwining his fingers with Yifan's. There's no teasing to his tone; it's a serious suggestion.
Yifan stays silent, then he lifts his head to be able to face Yixing again. Without saying anything he leans forward, kissing the smaller softly. "I’d like that," he eventually answers in a whisper, his lips brushing against Yixing's as they shape around the syllables. The soft chuckle falling from Yixing is immediately swallowed in another kiss.
They share lazy kisses for a while, unhurried and at ease. It's Yixing who eventually breaks away, the sudden motion startling Yifan. "I know!" the younger exclaims, and Yifan is lost as for what exactly has caused the excited sparkle in Yixing's eyes.
Before he can demand an explanation, Yixing has already freed himself from Yifan's hold and is scrambling off the bed. The elder has half a mind to hold his husband back, but he's too caught in confusion to say anything to stop Yixing from digging through their cupboard. It doesn't take more than a few minutes until the brunet turns to face him again. He's holding something in his hand, and Yifan blinks multiple times before he recognizes the expensive headphones he got Yixing for their fifth year anniversary.
Within seconds, the younger is back on the bed, moving to sit right in front of Yifan. He presents the headphones to his husband as if Yifan is supposed to know why exactly they are so important that Yixing had to jump up to get them immediately. "This is the solution," the younger unhelpfully supplies, and Yifan feels particularly slow under Yixing's expectant gaze.
"For your problem," Yixing elaborates when Yifan just furrows his forehead in confusion. "It will be a few more weeks before you can truly have one on one time with the baby, but with these you can share all the secrets you want with him."
And then it clicks with him what Yixing is proposing, and Yifan has never felt more in love because, even when he's being ridiculous and being laughed at by his husband, Yixing still takes always him serious and works on finding a way to make him feel better.
This time it's Yifan's turn to laugh, in a mixture of fondness and a weird sense of relief, and then he leans forward again to show his love with his kisses.
~-~
After that, they both make sure to have "Yifan-baby time" every day. Yixing loves the name because he says it's accurate in many different ways, and when Yifan pokes out his tongue at him that just seems to act as the confirmation of Yixing's statement.
The first Yifan-baby time is weird in Yifan’s books, the elder not knowing what exactly to tell the baby as soon as Yixing has put on his headphones and is listening to his favourite music in order to drown Yifan's voice out. Yifan is certain that the quality of Yixing's headphones is good enough that they block essentially all ambient noises, especially while they are playing music. And it's not as if he distrusts Yixing, but he still starts his conversation by telling the baby about how he shouldn't listen to Yixing if he talks about fashion or art, that Yifan will teach him all he needs to know about these matters. While he speaks, he studies Yixing's expression closely, watching for any indication that the younger hears him-if he did, he surely would make a face and comment on Yifan's claims. But Yixing just smiles down at where Yifan is resting on his lap in order to be closer to his baby bump, and either he's a damn good actor or he truly doesn't hear any of Yifan's words.
The daily routine quickly settles in, to the point where Yifan doesn't want to stop talking to their child. Most often Yixing endures his husband's antics with an impressive serenity, but occasionally he will start shifting in his seat, either in the need to go to the toilet or because hunger is taking over. Whenever he would take off his headphones to communicate his needs to Yifan, the elder would pout up at him, complaining that he didn't get his usual 30 minutes yet. And Yixing, with his endless patience, doesn't flick him on the forehead or gets annoyed at Yifan's childishness, instead he leans down to kiss Yifan's pouty lips-or tries to, the best he can at least with his rounded stomach; usually Yifan has to be the one to close the distance between them-and then reassures his husband that once he has tended to his physical needs, he'll gladly let Yifan continue with telling their child nonsense.
Like this he would always get Yifan to splutter about how Yixing isn't supposed to know what Yifan has been telling the baby, and Yixing, already heading out of the living room, would call back over his shoulder that he doesn't know what Yifan has been telling the baby, he just knows Yifan, and that's enough to make an educated guess on what the elder always speaks about during these sessions.
And Yifan will follow after his husband with the intention to argue, but usually he will just end up in the kitchen, preparing a snack for Yixing while the younger is in the bathroom or waiting on a chair by the counter, ready to receive food scraps and small kisses while Yifan bustles around the medium sized room. It's an easy routine they've settled in, and even though Yifan technically tries to spend one-on-one time with the baby, he knows that the physical proximity with Yixing is just as soothing, if not maybe even more so.
He's still kind of envious of Yixing. They decided for Yixing to be the one to get pregnant, as his job can be adjusted around the pregnancy a lot better than Yifan's, who is still in the middle of climbing up the career ladder. Being able to lie on the couch and whisper secrets to Yixing's womb helps a lot, but the seed has been sown in Yifan's mind; he doesn't know when he and Yixing will get their next child-their first one is bound to turn their lives upside down already after all-but once they do, he'll be the one to carry it.
(Two years later he's complaining about swollen feet and an upset stomach and having an absolutely horrible craving for pickles covered with Nutella and cream cheese at the same time, and Yixing, being the ever caring husband, only laughs at him a little as he goes to find exactly what Yifan asked for.)