(no subject)
i fail to understand people.
i just cannot see,
why someone would want to do this to us.
i love andrew more than anything in the world,
and people who know me,
know i would do anything my power to keep him happy,
even if that meant chopping off some of my limbs.
i want nothing more than for him to completely happy.
so whoever this anonymous person is,
obviously doesn’t know me,
or anything about our relationship.
i was pretty upset last night,
when all of this was happening.
and i actually started to believe what that person was saying.
i started to believe that i was a manipulating person,
that i was the reason why andrew didn’t talk to many of his old friends,
and i started to believe that i had no idea what andrew needed.
i was freaking out.
i asked andrew if he felt like i did those three things,
he said no to all,
but still i thought i failed as a girlfriend.
as much as everyone was assuring me that i didn’t do any of those,
i still thought about it this way..
if i wasn’t in andrews life,
none of this would be happening.
and if all i want is for andrew to be happy,
this clearly isn’t what i am doing.
i am making everything worse.
when i told andrew that,
he told me the last thing he wanted was for me to leave him over this.
i could never do that,
i can’t picture my life without him.
i love him so much.
and we recently had the conversation about what each one of us would do,
if we broke up,
and its not pretty.
but anyway.
when i went to bed last night,
i laid there for a while,
thinking about the whole situation,
and i thought about it more this morning.
and i now realize that i am none of those things.
i am not manipulative or controlling,
i hate people like that.
if andrew wants to do something,
or be friends with someone,
i am not going to stop him,
its his life,
and i am only part of it,
i have no place to try to tell him what to do.
and i did not eliminate his existing friends.
whenever andrew talks about his old friends,
i know he misses the times they shared.
i would do anything to have him be that happy again,
i want to be able to fix whatever went wrong,
because i know it bothers him.
and the last one,
if i didn’t “know what andrew needed or wanted”,
i don’t think we would be this happy,
i don’t think we would have been together for almost nine months.
really.
we had someone tell us sunday that they are so jealous of us,
because we are still so completely happy with each other,
after eight and a half months.
so yeah.
i don’t know what this anonymous person is trying to do,
but whatever it is,
they are going to fail at it.
and if it is trying to tear us apart,
they may as well stop now,
because as andrew said,
”the bond we have is way to strong for anything to rip us apart now.”
ps..
good luck in trying...but you won’t succeed.