(no subject)
i've come to these conclusions:
> the only thing that makes me happy is snowboarding lately
>i come home, and no matter how good my day was...it goes down the drain in a matter of 10 minutes.
>my parents love to talk about me and how horrible of a daughter i am
>oh, and apparantly i'm a slut that's sleeping around with every guy
^thats my Dad's opinion on me. since you know, i dont have a boyfriend...heaven for bid maybe i just DONT WANT to have one because all he'll do it CRITICIZE him too!
>track and field is in 27 days...and thats the only thing i'm looking forward too right now.
>but that also means i have to get a job.
>but if i get a job, at least i'll be away from this stupid house and everyone in it.
>it seems like my house is making me miserable lately...this is all i do is complain complain complain.
>i miss it.
>i think chemistry is interesting...but no matter how hard i study, stay after to fix the millions of labs i have to do or whatever...my grade just gets worse i dont get it.
>the one thing i want...the one thing that makes me the happiest girl in the world...i cant have. i can but there's a huge obstacle in my way.
> i havent even gotten my fabric for my prom dress yet. in a way i dont even care anymore.
summary: my Dad thinks i'm a slut, i have horrible grades, my ambition for everything has gone down the drain, i want college to come, the only thing that makes me sane...i cant have. i dont know how to prioritize. i make too many excuses for my laziness. i'm worried about everything, yet do nothing about it. sometimes i wonder if i can even trust them and then i realize, why even consider trusting them.
okay, its about time where i go into my room, draw angela (my current art project) and blast my music so i can just drown myself in it and not hear the B.S....i'll call christina, we'll talk for hours about nothing, just because and then i'll go to sleep. thats my routine.
^this seems to consume my life now a days
*sigh* i really need something NEW to cheer me up.