(no subject)
Even though i've been happy, i've been unhappy
isn;t that life for you know always giveing two sides of the story at exactly the same time.
i'm so grateful for evertyhing i have.EVERYTHING.
down to my faults
I use to be so wild,and in love with the idea of getting married&having a beautiful family but, after my last breakup the whole idea of that which if anyone knows me knew i was more then crazy about is gone.
i can't, and dont think there is anyone worth my time anymore.everyone boy just seems to make me sick to my stomach.Its funny as soon as you stop wanting something it comes to you but, this time i didnt want that i didnt want anyone to like me. i dont need that. maybe someone will prove me wrong.
all smiles see.
i spent an hour on the phone with my sister today, i can never talk about anything. really about my past to anyone here, not that i don't trust and love them its just like my sister went through it too. We've never really gotten along but, we havea bond strong then that and way more important then blong. we are sisters, and best friends and family. family is what you make it.i'm so proud to have such a beautiful talented strong sister. truley
confused face
I'm confused on how all my emotions are going haywire.i love to live but, living seems to be getting the way of suceeding, that make no sence but it does.love i mean really what is it, i know truley i've felt it came and gone. all things happen for a reason. jon brought up a good point the other night. He said its so weird how it takes things so long to get good and in a matter of a day everything can fall about & turn into shit. which is the truest shit i've heart in the longest time.
i'm really sick of people thinking they have it so tough and whining about stupid shit on a consistant basis. well, in real life that is. we all have so much to offer. i need to get into the hospitals and start volenteering agian. i'd do anything to see someone smile.
my heart keeps growing and growing and the only thing im trying to do is get tougher skin.i'll never be like that everyone tells me my hearts to big but, maybe thats just the way it is. i'll never expect anything out of it.
depressed face.
i feel like somethings missing and i know i need to stop searching for it and it will come. but, i just want to figure it out to understand what it means to be part empty and i think we are all empty sometimes and there will always be a little void but theres a huge one right now, missing where my heart shall lay.i'll figure it out
faith
i need to find my faith agian i need to reach out and just grab it. but, i dont know why it scares me so, the power of it all and how right i feel with it all it scared me. everyones knows when i get to close to something & its to right i run,far far away even though i know i should stop, i run to the edge of the world tottering to fall .days,weeks,months,years trying to figure if i run back, stay where i am or i jump. i think right now in my life im in the process of walking back into the right direction. i'm doing so well, better then so many people. i'm very lucky. and im working my ass off for it.
i dont know what i do without my friends.even though things are changing, betweens each and everyone of us. i'll never stop loving them NEVER. regardless of where they are or where they want to be.
its about 4:30 and i still cant sleep hopefully ill read harry potter untill i fix that problem. goodnight i love you guys <3
isn;t that life for you know always giveing two sides of the story at exactly the same time.
i'm so grateful for evertyhing i have.EVERYTHING.
down to my faults
I use to be so wild,and in love with the idea of getting married&having a beautiful family but, after my last breakup the whole idea of that which if anyone knows me knew i was more then crazy about is gone.
i can't, and dont think there is anyone worth my time anymore.everyone boy just seems to make me sick to my stomach.Its funny as soon as you stop wanting something it comes to you but, this time i didnt want that i didnt want anyone to like me. i dont need that. maybe someone will prove me wrong.
all smiles see.
i spent an hour on the phone with my sister today, i can never talk about anything. really about my past to anyone here, not that i don't trust and love them its just like my sister went through it too. We've never really gotten along but, we havea bond strong then that and way more important then blong. we are sisters, and best friends and family. family is what you make it.i'm so proud to have such a beautiful talented strong sister. truley
confused face
I'm confused on how all my emotions are going haywire.i love to live but, living seems to be getting the way of suceeding, that make no sence but it does.love i mean really what is it, i know truley i've felt it came and gone. all things happen for a reason. jon brought up a good point the other night. He said its so weird how it takes things so long to get good and in a matter of a day everything can fall about & turn into shit. which is the truest shit i've heart in the longest time.
i'm really sick of people thinking they have it so tough and whining about stupid shit on a consistant basis. well, in real life that is. we all have so much to offer. i need to get into the hospitals and start volenteering agian. i'd do anything to see someone smile.
my heart keeps growing and growing and the only thing im trying to do is get tougher skin.i'll never be like that everyone tells me my hearts to big but, maybe thats just the way it is. i'll never expect anything out of it.
depressed face.
i feel like somethings missing and i know i need to stop searching for it and it will come. but, i just want to figure it out to understand what it means to be part empty and i think we are all empty sometimes and there will always be a little void but theres a huge one right now, missing where my heart shall lay.i'll figure it out
faith
i need to find my faith agian i need to reach out and just grab it. but, i dont know why it scares me so, the power of it all and how right i feel with it all it scared me. everyones knows when i get to close to something & its to right i run,far far away even though i know i should stop, i run to the edge of the world tottering to fall .days,weeks,months,years trying to figure if i run back, stay where i am or i jump. i think right now in my life im in the process of walking back into the right direction. i'm doing so well, better then so many people. i'm very lucky. and im working my ass off for it.
i dont know what i do without my friends.even though things are changing, betweens each and everyone of us. i'll never stop loving them NEVER. regardless of where they are or where they want to be.
its about 4:30 and i still cant sleep hopefully ill read harry potter untill i fix that problem. goodnight i love you guys <3