The End
It's over. I'm through. I have had enough. This journal has officially done all it can for me. It's not an actual journal. pointless. I don't feel any better when I write in it. I actually feel worse. I get more worried because it makes me feel like I can't vent anything...anywhere. I'm not going to delete it. I just won't write in it anymore. I like that I can go back and look at old entries. It makes me feel like the past isn’t completely gone and I like that feeling. I’m sorry for those of you whom found entertainment in starting drama in this…I’m sure you’ll find someone new. So This is goodbye everyone. It’s been fun. Honestly. And I have grown A LOT. Thank you to everyone who helped. But it’s time for me to move on from all of this.
I'm Kaleigh Nicole Monroe. I'm 15 years old. My favorite color is green. I want to climb a mountain. I want to repel down the same mountain. I want to land safely on the ground in front of that mountain and look up at what I accomplished. I want to be amazing. I want a beautiful skirt. I want to be really good at something not many people are. I want to be a natural. I want the perfect little black dress. I carry a robot named Jimmy in my purse at all times. I have amazing friends. I have an amazing father. I have a beautiful crew. I love people. I hate people. I can’t sleep very well. I am making a bag for school. I am going to own a record company. I am going to go places in life. I am going to make sure the people I love do the same. I want to be noticed. I want to be able to sleep for a very long time. I work at Dr. Bopps pediatric dentist. I develop x-rays in a completely dark room. I am kind of scared of the dark. I love payday. I like candy. I don’t like my teeth. I hate proof reading. I fell in love with a boy in North Carolina who told me he loved me back and that I was beautiful and I should never say that I wasn’t. I don’t think he helped my self esteem any when he got a girlfriend out of nowhere. I put faith in the impossible a lot, maybe to much. I sit on my roof. I take naps on my roof. I like to be visited. I live far away from everyone and everything. I have 2 heroes, their names are daddy and Nanner. I am going to have a step mom and 2 little stepsisters in early August. I am really excited. I have 2 best friends, their names are Juni and Jonathan. I am the front seat champion. I had pet fish. I don’t have pet fish anymore. I have sea monkeys. I miss my fish. I like shoes. I am horrible at doing hair. I bite my nails. I want to be known. I want to be loved. I think that’s human nature. I used to try to hard. I think it made me numb. I don’t really care anymore…maybe I’m wrong…maybe I do care..and maybe it’s to much. I worry. I believe that Danielle Nicole Hill is absolutely amazing in everyway shape, and form. I REFUSE to let her forget that. I like to buy school supplies. I want my power to go out so I can call Juni on my cell phone. I want a pair of red cowboy boots. I am at an awkward stage. I think I am getting my real personality back. I don’t think before I speak and I love how much it makes Juni laugh. I take cold showers sometimes. I have an amazing pen pal in Cali named Brian. I hate how our letters get retarded by the postal service. I listen to rap like mad crazy. I like the Backstreet Boys and N*sync. I don’t think that will ever change. I love when Nanner and I have sing-a-longs to Avril. I love crew outings. I dance in the rain. I think everything is beautiful in it’s own way. I am going to get good grades next year and the year after that and the one after that and the one after that and so on…or at least I am going to try my hardest. I am horrible at painting nails. I want to build a birdhouse. I take a lot of bubble baths. I love my daddy being a sniper. I don’t love that he has to go away. I am scared of cancer. I hurt a lot. I hold…ish a grudge towards my mother. I try not to…but it happens. I read in the book “A God Shaped Hole” that everyone has a God shaped hole inside of them and they fill it with what they desire most…lovers with love, fighters with fight, christens with religions, shoppers with shoes/cloths/whatever. I believe it. I have no idea what mine is filled with. I think its empty. I am not sure how I feel about religion. I think I am just scared of commitment and blah blah blah. I hate the color orange in large amounts. I like English class. I secretly wish I had a Romeo to my Juliet. I think every girl does. I have a not so cute room. I have come to the conclusion that it will never be really cute. I am okay with that. I was depressed a long time a go. I am over that. I’m stupid and smart. I don’t think I am beautiful or whatever. I know I never will. I am done trying to convince myself. I sometimes pretend I am poetic and deep and them I realize that’s a lie. I don’t try to be anything I’m not. I’m Kaleigh and I will never be anything more than that. I know that’s okay. I want to be confidant. I take bubble baths. I buy cheap (good smelling) perfume. I think. I feel. I need. I read a lot. I wish on the same star every night. I sometimes like to think I know how to play guitar but then I realize that’s a lie. I lie. I live. (863)660-6042. I breath. I stare. I talk I zone out. I want to skydive. I love. I like. I’m done.
Good bye everyone.
And thank you.
For everything.
Honestly.
♥,
K$Money$Millionaire
and nothing more...Forever
...and she will try to live happily ever after.