Revelation!
One of the major expenses to a wedding is the reception, and more specifically, paying for the amount of alcohol people consume. When Nick and I planned our wedding, we worked with our coordinator Laurence, and conservatively budgeted for the alcohol, knowing that most of our guests don't drink, or don't drink much. Laurence was a little hesitant to budget this way, so we came up with an estimate that allowed the few drinkers to go nuts. When Laurence gave us the bill the next day, he was surprised at how little people drank.
Knowing this, I shouldn't have come to my latest revelation so slowly. Last night, a day after I had a great girl's night with some friends I've made in the area, I realised that the reason I don't have any close friends here, despite being here for a year and a half, is because I don't drink.
All my closest, best friends, all the people I've really connected with on a deep level, have been non-drinkers, or occasional drinkers, and those occasions rarely involved me. Anita, Max, Kathy, my husband Nick, don't drink. Kathy drinks sometimes but it's never the reason we get together. This new group I hang out with is great and I have lots of fun with them, but it's never developed into anything meaningful because a lot of the time they get together, it's to go to the wine bar or the pub, and Nick and I, 99% of the time, decline those invitations.
So last Saturday, a friend who had moved away to LA came back to visit and we had a girl's night together, with potluck dinner and wine and bubbly. There was a lot of talking and soul searching and soul bearing, and it was great to finally, after a year and a half, get to know these people on another level. I didn't say much, mostly listening. I felt so good being included, feeling like I had real friends to hang out with. And then I went home, absorbing it all, and came to realise I miss out on a lot because I don't drink.
I'm not about to pick up a habit just to make friends, but now I'm wondering how I'll make friends. Jes, the wonderful redhead I met at massage school, was the first person I connected with, almost immediately, when I moved here. She didn't drink. She moved to CT though, so...there goes that...
All the people I love so much, get together with me to talk art and music, play games, go to movies or live shows...I have a great time with without drinking. Is it that some people just don't bare all unless they're drinking? How am I going to make close friends here without drinking? Blah...
Knowing this, I shouldn't have come to my latest revelation so slowly. Last night, a day after I had a great girl's night with some friends I've made in the area, I realised that the reason I don't have any close friends here, despite being here for a year and a half, is because I don't drink.
All my closest, best friends, all the people I've really connected with on a deep level, have been non-drinkers, or occasional drinkers, and those occasions rarely involved me. Anita, Max, Kathy, my husband Nick, don't drink. Kathy drinks sometimes but it's never the reason we get together. This new group I hang out with is great and I have lots of fun with them, but it's never developed into anything meaningful because a lot of the time they get together, it's to go to the wine bar or the pub, and Nick and I, 99% of the time, decline those invitations.
So last Saturday, a friend who had moved away to LA came back to visit and we had a girl's night together, with potluck dinner and wine and bubbly. There was a lot of talking and soul searching and soul bearing, and it was great to finally, after a year and a half, get to know these people on another level. I didn't say much, mostly listening. I felt so good being included, feeling like I had real friends to hang out with. And then I went home, absorbing it all, and came to realise I miss out on a lot because I don't drink.
I'm not about to pick up a habit just to make friends, but now I'm wondering how I'll make friends. Jes, the wonderful redhead I met at massage school, was the first person I connected with, almost immediately, when I moved here. She didn't drink. She moved to CT though, so...there goes that...
All the people I love so much, get together with me to talk art and music, play games, go to movies or live shows...I have a great time with without drinking. Is it that some people just don't bare all unless they're drinking? How am I going to make close friends here without drinking? Blah...